Friday, February 10, 2012

Extreme Parenting = Epic Win!

So Facebook is blowing up about this dad- and his extreme method of teaching his over privileged daughter a lesson. I think he is a genius! I don't give 2 shits about the use of a gun either. It wouldn't be my way of handling it- but that is really not the main issue.

The issue is this family has a teenage daughter. Teenagers in general are hormonal, overly dramatic, whiny pains in the ass. Teenage girls- well they are a ridiculous hot mess that would take several blogs to describe. I know this because I once was one, and I now have one.  This girl apparently feels that she is entitled to everything she wants, without doing anything in return for free room and board and all her fancy gadgets that allow her to disrespect her family in such a way.   So after already being in trouble for a similar infraction, dad stepped up his game and showed little miss exactly who was boss.

And I say GOOD FOR YOU TOMMY!!! As the mom to a now 21 year old son who was given pretty much everything he wanted and excuses made for bad behavior growing up- who is now paying the price for a series of fuck ups that I take partial blame for, I can truly say-had I been a less permissive parent with him, he may not have gotten into the trouble he did.  (yes, that is a horrible run on sentence, but I am in a hurry!)

Teenzilla has a much different upbringing. I allow her to have an opinion, I allow her to vent, but it still comes down to I am THE PARENT and I will do what I feel is best. Yes I may take her opinion into consideration, but that is all. And for the most part she isn't a disrespectful little asshole that feels like I OWE her something. She has her moments- she isn't perfect, but she is a good kid, and I am a lucky mom. I still stalk the hell outta her Facebook and other assorted online activities, not to catch her doing something wrong, but as a matter of safety.And if I DO happen to catch her being an asshole- it will be dealt with accordingly.  I read her text messages on her phone too. That is MY job. HER job is to put away dishes, pick up the house, put her laundry away, babysit when asked and just be a productive member of the household. In return she gets a roof over her head, a bed to sleep in, a computer, and iPod and a cell phone. All of which have been taken away one time or another for disrespectful behavior or not following the rules.

Then there is The Boy. Parenting a child on the autism spectrum is a weird thing sometimes. I still expect him to be respectful, although sometimes what seems like a lack of respect is his literal interpretation of the world around him. I still correct it- and I know the difference between him seeing things in black and white, and him being rude.

So I give Tommy Jordan a big thumbs up and applaud him for taking his parenting skills to the extreme.  Here is his FB status update about his daughter- and if this doesn't tell you his approach worked- nothing will.

For those that wondered, commented, criticized, and just in general wanted to know:
My daughter came through it fine. 

Yes, she's in trouble, and yes she's grounded, but that doesn't mean every moment of her life has to be miserable. She's going to come to terms with the changes that will be present for a while; no TV privileges, no Internet, etc.

In the meantime, once the initial anger passed, she sat with me reviewing some of the comments that have come in via Facebook and YouTube. One person even suggested collecting the shell casings and auctioning them on eBay. I said I’d do it if it would help contribute to her college fund! When I told her about it, she thought a minute, got a funny calculating expression on her face and said, “in that case you should shoot my phone too. We can use more bullets and I’ll go half-sies with ya on it! It’s not like I’m going to need it any time soon. And I can use the money we get to buy a new one.”

While the whole point of this story isn’t funny, what is funny to me is how weak some people out there think kids are. Our kids are as strong as we help them to be. My daughter took a horrible day in her life, had her crying fit, then got over it, accepted her punishment, and hasn’t let it (or people’s comments) destroy her strength. I don’t get any credit for that. She’s strong and able to overcome almost anything life throws at her.

Since this unsuspectingly threw her into the limelight much more strongly than either of us intended, I asked her if she wanted to make her own response video, and told her I’d let her do it if she wanted to. She doesn’t like being in front of the camera, so she declined, but I’ve told her if she wants to write a response or post a video response, I’d be OK with it. It’s only fair considering the viral nature of the whole thing. So far she’s not really interested. Quite frankly it seems she’s gotten bored of it much faster than the general public has. If that changes I’ll post it here.