Thursday, February 7, 2013

The Dreaded/Hoped For Snow Day

Woo-Hoo! Snow Day!

The Snow Day. Capitalized out of respect, it is a very complicated thing. Pretty much everyone, except parents, love them and wish for them.  But they are definitely a mystery to the everyday person.

What constitutes a Snow Day? Depending on where you live, a light dusting might be cause for panic and the immediate canceling of schools across the board. These are generally areas that don't get a lot of snow. Ever. If you are like me, and live in the Midwest, school only closes if you literally can't open your front door, because the snow is that deep.
We are in the light blue- 4-8 inches

So why do Snow Day's happen? Will we have one tomorrow? According to the weather the East Coast is going to get slammed with  2-4 FEET of wet heavy snow.Where I live in  Michigan, we are supposed to see a fraction of that, possibly up to 6 inches of wet, heavy, accumulating snow, with periods of sleet and freezing rain turning our roads into big icy slip and slides. Last year, they called school off for a supposed Snowmageddon that never happened. I am sure that mistake won't be made again.

The truth is, nobody really understands a Snow Day. With the exception of the weather person- and even then it's debatable.  The powers that govern school closings i.e The Superintendent, decide when and if schools will close, if the roads are too dangerous, teacher's can't make it in to teach, how many Snow Days a district has. (In our case we should have at least 3, we haven't used any as of yet).

Fun in the snow
Now you might be saying "WHY IN THE HELL DO YOU WANT A SNOW DAY?? DON'T YOU REALIZE THE KIDS WILL BE AT *GULP* HOME? WITH YOU??" Yes, yes I do, and I am perfectly o.k. with that. I mean, how can you NOT love a Snow Day. A Snow Day is basically Mother Nature looking down and saying, "Hey, everyone!  You can sleep in! And, guess what? No homework! Is that OK with you?" To which everyone always replies, "HECK YEAH!" For us, it  means a lazy day, watching TV, eating junk food, and chilling out. (literally). Depending on the temps, it probably means some great outside fun.  Yeah- it messes up The Boy's routine a little, but we can overcome that.  It means I don't have to go into work, The Mister will probably work from home and we all get a well deserved three day weekend.

So, I am going to share with you, what Teenzilla's kindergarten teacher shared with her class. A secret, tried and true method to get a Snow Day in 4 easy steps. Now, you do not have to do the ritual, either way, the nasty storm on it's way may decide for you. But, if you aren't sure, and you would really enjoy a day off of school/work/etc. then follow these steps- IN ORDER, or who knows what the outcome will be!

1)Wear your pajamas inside out. This will be even more effective if your pajamas have feet.

2)Flush  ice CUBES down the toilet. Remember, they must be CUBES, crushed ice won't work! (My theory about this is if the ground isn't frozen, snow won't stick, right? And the pipes in your toilet eventually go underground, right? And if your pipes get cold enough, than the ground will freeze, right? So, it stands to reason that if you flush enough ice cubes down your toilet, your pipes will be cold enough to freeze the ground so the snow will stick,  which will consequently render the roads DEATH TRAPS. Automatic snow day.)

3)A spoon, or a white FROZEN crayon under your pillow (I really don't get the reasoning behind this- but hey, whatever works!)

4) The obligatory snow dance. Kind of like a rain dance but with a lot more yelling, running in circles and BIG spazzy arms. Be careful of furniture and proximity to other people during this snow dance, you don't want to spend your Snow Day hurt or in trouble for breaking something. 

There you go. That should do it. And if for some bizarre reason these methods do not get you your Snow Day (pssshht, yeah, right) then at least you got to have some silly fun with your family, and THAT is the best possible outcome anyway.

P.S. I HAVE done this with The Boy- and we didn't get a Snow Day. Due to Autism's literalness, he wasn't a happy camper. This was two years ago. Now, he understands it is all in fun, and if we get lucky we will have a Snow Day.  Autism parents, you will know how much, if any of this will go over well in your house. 

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Sorry Valentine's Day, I'm just not that into you...

I love, and I am dearly  loved, but Valentine's Day just isn't what it used to be for me anymore. No romantic dinners (unless you count eating the leftover heart shaped hamburgers the from the kids) no romantic evening out (unless you count running to the store together to buy wine), no declarations of endless love (unless you count the mumbled "I love you" as we roll over and go to sleep), no chocolates (unless you count the ones pilfered from the kids V-Day Party stash), no sexy lingerie (unless you count the one pair of underwear I can find that isn't falling apart, and of course my crippling low self esteem and endless stress about my doughy body)  no cutsey stuffed animals, (good!) silly "Sexy Coupon Books" (really, what are we, 20?) or anything that seems to go hand in hand with yet another mass marketed holiday.

Valentine's Day might have started as a day to celebrate love but nowadays it has become another day to force people to shop compulsively for things that they don’t need or they don’t want to buy in order to express their love. Don't get me wrong, I like gifts as much as the next person, but don't hold my hubby hostage to these "holidays" that are designed to make people feel like they HAVE to get something OR ELSE. I believe in love. But I hate to see how Valentine’s day has become another commercial festivity to sell flowers, chocolates, jewelry, cards with silly messages and stuffed animals. 

courtesy of sommecards

I’m all for doing fun stuff with my kids, and now that they are getting older, that is pretty much a thing of the past. No, now I get to hear my 14 year old Teenzilla go on about how Valentine's Day sucks, she doesn't have a BF and everything is stupid. I hear ya kid. It REALLY sucks to be a Freshman in high school, and watch all the commercial, contrived bullshit going on around you, and not be involved.   

I also hate to hear the competitiveness between women on Valentine’s Day. Someone bragging about their enormous bouquet of flowers, another one flashing the diamonds she got, while yet another one claims that her man really loves her because he never takes her out but tonight they are going to the best restaurant in the city. Doesn't she realize that it is only a Valentine’s Day marketing game, he never takes her out except on Valentine’s Day, and she is delighted. Poor girl!

Valentine's Breakfast 2012 

And contrary to the above, I am still a sappy girl,a romantic person, a dreamy girl who seems to have found her happily ever after. And when I say that I don't really care about Valentine's Day, people look at me like I am from Mars, assume I have a thoughtless husband, or think  I am just old to care anymore.  Most people do not understand how someone who is happy in a relationship doesn't gush all over Valentine's Day like a teenager experiencing their first "love". I am beyond all that. Not romance all together, but summing it all up in one day. I do fun little things, love notes in a lunch, sexy texts, favorite dinners, etc all the time. I may rev it up a little in February, but it's also my mister's birthday in February, so of course he gets a little extra attention.  

I have an ideal husband, who is a hopeless romantic and after almost 16 years, still tries to woo me on a daily basis. Work, school, and kids have made me tired, fussy and, well downright bitchy most of the time, and the fact that he still puts up with it is pretty damn awesome.  He doesn't ignore me until the 14th day of February rolls around and then attempt to shower me with romance and affection. I get Valentine's Day any time I want it, really.  And he is pretty damn lucky himself. I am not into jewelry, or expensive stuff, I am pretty low maintenance when it comes to gift giving. The only thing I DO ask, don't get me household appliances for V-Day. Any other gift giving occasion (well, except for our anniversary) is fine for those kinds of things. 

 If you feel like you HAVE to give me something, get me a bottle of my favorite wine, order out so I don't have to cook, and yes, heart shaped pizza IS acceptable or take me to MY choice of movies- NOT the new Die Hard either. Save that one for your birthday ♥

NOT a Valentine's Day movie