Autism, Paranormal Investigators and a Guest Blog

I have been a terribly lazy blogger. I have been very busy doing other things, but I don't want to make excuses! To make up for my laziness I asked the author of the blog My Ausome Son from one of my most stalked Facebook pages A Legion for Liam to write a guest post for me.She is an amazing mom and I love her blog! Every day this month she is sharing a holiday coloring page or maze chosen by Liam- so cool!  Her Liam reminds me a lot of The Boy and her attitude reminds me a lot of MYSELF! Go check her out on FB, and go read her blog- you won't be disappointed! One of her most recent posts I REALLy enjoyed and could relate so much with was Yes, even Santa makes mistakes  So, without further delay- introducing, A Legion for Liam.

Photo courtesy of http://myausomeson.blogspot.com/

I was asked by Red Vines and Wine to do a guest blog post….So here goes….I hope I do it justice. 

(Of course she did!)

Tell me a little about you! (Paranormal investigator- I want to know about that!):

As you may or may not know, my real name is Courtney. It’s funny because I have come to “know” so many of you, but most of you I know by your page names, not your real names.

I am 33, the baby of my family, and grew up in a small town. I still live in a small town, not far from where I grew up. I have always had macabre interests that stem from as far back as I can remember. When we moved in 1988, our house was placed on top of the old foundation of the Goodwin Family homestead. Where my room was, used to be the old kitchen, and it was where my great great Aunt, passed on. It wasn’t long before our house had paranormal activity, and at that young age I was terrified!

Photo Courtesy of http://emparanormal.webs.com

The older I got, the more interested I became. I wanted to know if all the experiences I had as a child were real, or part of an over active imagination.

In 2007 we started to have experiences in our own home, and through a friend, I contacted a local paranormal group. They investigated our home, and caught one EVP. They also asked me to join their group. I was ecstatic. 
So, in my spare time, I am a paranormal investigator with Endless Mountains Paranormal. (they are on Facebook  Check ‘em out and tell them I sent you!!!) It’s often harder for me to go now a days because Liam tends to be so much of a hand full, I feel terrible leaving him with his dad. 

Tell me about Liam:

More about Liam:
Liam is now 6. He has only been officially diagnosed for over a year, though I have always known there was something different about him. 

As you may or may not know, Liam’s official diagnosis is now Autism Spectrum Disorder. He was originally diagnosed as having Aspergers, but upon a second opinion, it was changed to ASD. He is however high functioning. He very much resembles a child with Aspergers, but he also leans more towards a traditional ASD diagnosis. He is kinda, in between.

He is super smart, has an AUSOME memory and really amazes me (and many others) with his vocabulary. What is funny is that, he can’t read between the lines, he doesn’t get a joke, yet he will try like hell to make one!!!!

He is a good boy but is VERY high strung, often aggressive, and mouthy as well. Many don’t believe he is on the spectrum because “he is so smart!” A common misconception and one of the reasons I wanted to start ALFL.

Photo courtesy of http://www.facebook.com/ALegionForLiam

What are some of your experiences with autism? The good, the not so good and the AWFUL

I tend to be a glass half full person, and I always try to view Autism in that manner. Let’s face it though, it’s not always that easy. There are days when Autism sneaks up, kicks our legs out from under us, and knocks us on our arses! I HATE those days!

Those are the days I want to scream! I want to take Autism away, and never have to think about it again. Those are the days I might actually tell you I WANT a cure for Autism……..
If you know me, or follow me, you know that is NOT like me. I don’t feel my son needs “cured” because I don’t feel there is anything “wrong” with him. I feel Autism is a part of who he is, and without it he would be a different little boy……

But as I said, the days when Autism is full blown and raging in my face, I hate it! I hate when my child wants nothing more than to play with other kids, and then he is shot down because of his inability to understand the game or social cues of the other kiddos. I hate Autism when it shoots his anxiety through the roof, and something so simple for “normal” kids, such as a birthday party, becomes a cause for concern and major worry for a 6 year old child. I hate Autism when it makes him meltdown over a thrown away receipt, or a penny he NEEDS to pick up from the dirty, nasty ground. I hate Autism when my son won’t hug me, show me affection or look me in the eye……

Photo courtesy of http://www.facebook.com/ALegionForLiam

I also LOVE Autism. Yep, you read right, I sure do! I love Autism, when my son teaches ME how to use my computer better. I love Autism when my son teaches me how to play a video game. I love Autism when my son repeats a commercial or catch phrase word for word, at just the right time. I love Autism because of the bond he has with his friends with Autism. I love that they are drawn to each other and have a friendship like no other. I love Autism because I have met some great mothers with children I adore! I also love Autism because it brought you all to me, or me to all of you. I feel I am part of a sorority/frat house of other Autism parents, who understand one another like no one else can. For all of that, I love Autism!

What is one quirk that you LOVE about your Aspie?

My favorite quirk of Liam’s would have to be his connection with the elderly. Put him a room of his peers and he fails to connect miserably. Take him to an old folks home and watch him shine! He is a 6 year old with the mind of a 60 year old. He is for sure an old soul! Every year when we go trick or treating, we HAVE to take him into the retirement home. NOT for candy, but to VISIT! Yes, I said visit. He absolutely adores them! We have elderly neighbors, and almost every day he goes over for a visit.

What is one thing you would trade anything so that he would not do it?

That being said, I have to say he also has some annoying quirks. Hmmmm, where shall I start. We DON’T step on cracks! (sometimes that is a real PITA) We can’t say certain things (ie: kill two birds with one stone,(because why would you kill 2 birds!) (we also can’t say, “see you later” unless you fully intend to see that person later!) VOCAL STIMMING!!!!! I used to think Liam just talked to talk, or to annoy me!!! I now know better, but that doesn’t make it any easier. One can only stand to hear “Topeka Kansas” less than 100 times a day. Oh and phonics, well they suck! He stims on every consonant sound, UGH!!!

How do you deal with autism and the holidays?

As those of you who follow my ALFL page know, the holidays are already upon us. That means STRESS for everyone!!!! Of course, Autism doesn’t take a break. It doesn’t take a day off, nor does it care about the holidays. 

Every year I am constantly thinking of how the family gatherings will go. I will say it has gotten easier since the official diagnosis. They all know Liam has Autism, and no longer think, “wow her kid is a brat!” With that said, I still am self conscious about how he will behave. 
I ALWAYS take a bag with sensory toys and things to keep him occupied. Electronics are a must!!!! The newest addition is his body sock. This way, if I have to remove him from all the excitement, he can crawl in and feel even more secure. 

Photo courtesy of http://www.facebook.com/ALegionForLiam

Let’s not forgot the special goodies… He is no longer GFCF because well, we can’t afford it. (that sounds awful but hey, I am honest!) I do take food because as many of you know our kiddos are so darn finicky! I make sure I take enough for him to share because hey, he is not the only kid at these functions.
One thing I have also learned to do is to judge his emotions. I pay close attention the day of the function to how he is feeling/acting. Upon arriving at said function, I make no bones about alerting everyone to the fact that Liam is having a “rough, good, bad, angry or anxious” day. I am not looking to get him sympathy, I am looking for them to cut him a little slack if he behaves inappropriately. It seems to work with our families, and he is now more understood by them all than he has ever been!

So, my friends, that is my life in a nutshell. I am not an exciting person. I myself am quirky, awkward and sometimes anti social. I am me! You either, love me or hate me. It makes no difference to me. I am who I am and though approval is nice, it’s not needed. Hey, took me 30 years to learn this! (I couldn't have said it better Courtney!)

Thank you so much Courtney for sharing Liam and a snapshot of your family with us!  

Photo courtesy of http://www.facebook.com/ALegionForLiam

To all the haters- Kiss my ass!

So one of my recent blogs has garnered some attention.  And not very welcome attention at that. I am used to being praised to the heavens so this bitch slapping that I have received has truly humbled me.

That is not to say that I think everyone will agree with me, or like what I have to say- not at all. But the comments in the Must Love Dogs blog have gotten way out of hand. My parenting has been called into question, I have been called vile, disgusting, horrible and stupid. All of which I take with a grain of salt and a tequila shot- but the hateful things some people spew really have me kind of upset. For instance- take MrsBecky:

If you got rid of your first dog because you couldn't handle, why the HELL did you think a puppy would be a good idea? I think you are an awful person, but worse, I think you're as stupid as they come. Next time, before making any decision that affects another LIVING being, please do your research and know what the eff you are doing. You disgust me.

OK- fine- whatever...water off a ducks back. Then we had Sophia Campbell :

I have to say that I am appalled by the way you have treated those poor defenceless animals. And I'm even more appalled that you seem to think that the way you have behaved is acceptable. You left your family pet with a humane society and do not even care about whether or not it's still alive? And you are about to do it again? I am ashamed to belong to the same species as you. I'm almost surprised that you didn't give up your son when it turned out he was autistic, just in case he turned out to be too much work for you! I really hope that when you become old and senile and start shitting yourself that your children dump you in a nursing home. Because they will have learned from you that getting rid of something that has become an inconvience is perfectly ok.\\

 

Whoa! Really lady? You have the balls to come to my blog and equate me not wanting a dog to not wanting my AUTISTIC child?? Bitch- you done fucked up there- do not EVER drag my children into anything or all manners of hell will rain down on your sorry ass. And your deplorable spelling doesn't help either..just sayin.

 And then in my sort of defense, annemercedes said:

Totally inappropriate comment about her child...You might disagree with how she treats dogs...I think its a tough one there, especially for people who love dogs- I get that.But as least she is being honest there.
It has nothing to do with who she is as a mom..That was a cruel and uncalled for comment.Apparently the tentative inability to deal with a child who is " different" poses some kind of question to her..otherwise, why even bring that up?
Dawn, I would not even dignify her with a response...you do not need to defend yourself. 

Now-  this one was kind of back handed- how she treats dogs? Never once did I say I beat them, or hurt them in any way. I despise anyone who can hurt a defenseless animal. The worst I did was flip him off..he was well taken care of- loved Spaghettios and had a nice comfy bed - well pretty much wherever he wanted to lie down. He had toys and treats. He wasn't tied to a stake in the yard and left, he wasn't beaten, he wasn't starved. Just look at the damn picture people!

 

And then Jes Jou Jester also rallied to my side saying:

are you kidding me? the idea that anyone would take this situation and place it ANYWHERE near the way that you care for you children is appalling. they are the disgusting ones. they should be ashamed. dawn, you are a great woman. you relayed a story. when push comes to shove, it is an animal. i LOVE my animals, but they are ANIMALS. period. 

 

Thanks to you guys- and a few more who had decent things to say- it is much appreciated and feels good to know there are people who have my back and had something of an understanding of what I was writing about- even if they disagreed. 

But this bitch takes the cake- I am floored by the hateful venom she spews - and I can be as hateful as the next guy- but this takes it to another level. christya said:  (in her first comment)

Wow, you really are disgusting. Sophie's comments might have been out of line, but that doesn't change the fact that a you are NOT a good person. I don't care how many people crawl out of the woodwork to shout about what a good mother you are. You're not a good mother - you're teaching your children that only their comfort and that of their family matters, that they needn't think about the other creatures in this world if it doesn't suit them. People show their true colours when they deal with people or creatures when there are no consequences to doing wrong. You treat dogs as disposable because you can, and that's just vile. If it wasn't for your poor children, I'd be rooting for your husband to take your ridiculous 'get rid of the dog or take it and go' ultimatum and walk out on you. As it is, I just feel sorry for him

 

#2

f I read your other posts? I did, actually, and there is absolutely nothing there that suggests that you're anything other than a disgusting human being. Your children are fantastic? What, aren't you counting the one you're calling bad for the whole world to see? Have you decided that he just isn't turning out how you want so you don't have to count him? If you think he's so fantastic, how about you stop whining about him to people on the internet. You're a whole new level of vile. Your kids are lucky to have you? No, but sadly for them they'll probably only realize how much you screwed them up when it's too late to stop. You, on the other hand, are so self-obsessed and smug about your nasty little self that you'll probably never see it. Keep looking in that mirror. You might as well stare at the only person you really, truly give a shit about.

Wow.  I just can't believe the nastiness that some people are capable of- especially hiding in the anonymity of the Interwebs.  I mean- this horrible person has no idea who I am, who my family is, or anything. And all this over a damn dog.

Which then calls into question my blog about my oldest kid. That was a pisser to write and even a bigger pisser to publish. But I needed to get it out,  and if my experience can help someone else- or if I can get some help myself  then I accomplished what I set out to do. I love my kid...I just don't like the path he's on right now- and I like it even less that there is not a damn thing I can do about it.

So now I am refusing to look at any comments- fuck the haters as they say. I know who and what I am- and I am proud to be me. I am a good mom, a good wife and a good friend. I can look myself in the mirror every day and know that I am a decent person. Not perfect, I make some HUGE mistakes- but all in all I am happy to be Dawn.  

And just an update to all the assholes- the dog, Jack is about to be adopted into a new (hopefully) forever home. Our friend and neighbor runs the local shelter and has been awesome and amazing in helping to get him placed. Thanks so much - this has made giving him up a little easier on my hubby.