tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-55706200032253339312024-03-10T20:23:31.003-07:00Red Vines and Red WineTales of an Autism and Wineaux MomAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04422351778391296408noreply@blogger.comBlogger176125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5570620003225333931.post-70265385156471208962017-02-07T13:26:00.000-08:002017-02-07T13:44:38.723-08:00Our kids were just sold out. Now what? <br />
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Today has really put me back in the defeated state I was in on November 8th. After listening to an incompetent moron incoherently answer questions about our education system, I had hope that Betsy DeVos would never be confirmed. I really thought that Grizzly Bears in schools would seal her fate. Then came the letters, phone calls, emails, and social media posts from teachers, parents, administrators and students about how wrong she was, and the damage that will certainly be wrought with her at the helm of America's education. Surely this would disqualify her, and there would be no way a confirmation would come. Wrong again. DeVos is all about religion in schools, and here in Michigan she has spent millions to implement voucher systems for religious schools. Trump wants to end separation of church and state. See a pattern? These are anti-intellectual and religious and political fundamentalists who view schooling as a threat to orthodoxy and tradition and want to silence critical forms of pedagogy as well as eliminate those teachers who value thinking over conformity. This is who was confirmed to oversee education of our country, from our youngest learners, to our college students.<br />
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I cried when I heard. So did many others, so I have been reading. There are talks of a national teacher walk out, and students in NYC already walked out in protest. This is a knee-jerk reaction to this horrible news, though. Our students need their teachers now more than ever, and a walk-out would hurt them more than help. Now, a coordinated teacher AND student walk-out? That I fully endorse, and would be surprised if it doesn't happen.<br />
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A House Republican has already submitted a 1 page bill calling for the termination of the United States Department of Education, created in 1980. <a href="http://thehill.com/blogs/floor-action/house/318310-gop-lawmaker-proposes-abolishing-department-of-education" target="_blank">Kentucky representative Thomas Massie </a> believes that states should be solely in charge of education, and the federal government needs to get out.<br />
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I've been thinking about this myself. I'm not sure what to think. On one hand, education would be solely in the hands of the states. Would that promote grassroots reform that is in the best interests of our kids? But what about rural and poor school districts that rely on federal funds? Would federal taxes be lowered and that money would go to the states? But districts that are better off would still have an advantage, and equity in education would suffer even more. Or would it? What about special education? Was this the republican gambit all along? I don't know the answer. I feel that no USDoE would be better than DeVos right now. Our schools will be her little experiment, and our kids the guinea pigs. I am not OK with that. A billionaire that has never been in public schools, does not know the first thing about the issues facing them, does not know the difference between progress and proficiency, and is completely unfamiliar with the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA), who fights for charter schools to have zero accountability, and who has pushed her agenda against LGBTQ students by endorsing conversion therapy, has no business anywhere near education.<br />
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But what would happen if the DoE was terminated? Really think about that for a minute. Would our federal taxes decrease, and money would be available to the states? Unlikely, not in this administration. It would go to putting Melania Trump up in her golden tower and building a damn wall. It would create a gap that may or may not be funded by the states who depend on federal dollars for such programs. Special education would suffer even more than it already is, and our most vulnerable students education would be sacrificed first. </div>
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What about rural and poorer districts? How would they fare without the paltry amount they receive from the federal government? I fear even worse than they are now- and that's saying something. What about our teacher unions? DeVos is a union busting bitch- what would happen to teacher protections? </div>
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The fight to defend public education is not new. Neither is the call to get rid of the DoE. But in the political climate we are in today- these things take on new, more sinister meaning. We learned today that our kids education is available to the highest bidder. You must vote these people out that did this in 2018. YOU MUST VOTE. But that is the future. What about now? What can we do to defend our children's education, from preschool to college from a predatory administration that is dismantling our democracy from within? </div>
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SO WHAT CAN WE DO??</div>
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Start at home, in your home districts. Go to school board meetings. Visit your children's schools, and get to know teachers and administrators. Understand how your child's education works- don't be a bystander. Learn about academic standards and what they mean for students. We hear so much coming from state and federal levels- start at the local level and advocate for your local schools first. </div>
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SUPPORT& RESPECT TEACHERS! I am really tired of how demonized our teachers are. It's a wonder that anyone wants to go into education as bad as teachers are vilified. Teachers are just as unhappy with obstacles they face as parents are. Work with teachers and administrators to provide equitable education in your schools. </div>
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Join the PTA. Go to meetings- get to know fellow parents, odds are you have many of the same concerns, and strength in numbers is what we need. Don't have a PTA? Start your own parent group. Social media is wonderful for starting grassroots efforts. </div>
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Please- don't give up this fight. It's imperative that we not wither away in defeat, but to rise up and demand better for our children, for ourselves, for our country. It won't be easy, it will be exhausting and frustrating. But our kids, our democracy is worth it. </div>
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Remember the 50 Republican senators who sold our children out today. Remember them in 2018 and show them how we, the people they work for, deal with spineless, greedy cowards. </div>
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Do not give up. We must #Resist. </div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04422351778391296408noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5570620003225333931.post-78918020313056777752016-04-30T07:57:00.001-07:002016-04-30T07:59:45.483-07:00I'm Not Going to Prom Hello Dear Winos...<br />
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I must first apologize for my LOOONNG absence- I just stopped writing and never started back up again :-(<br />
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But I am back, and not even writing about what you would expect- Autism Awareness Month, Inclusive Education, or even autism for that matter.<br />
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Today I want to talk about not going to prom. I didn't go to my senior prom, on account of just having a baby and all. I did go to prom as a sophomore - asked by a senior- who also happened to be my 2nd cousin- who I still suspect felt sorry for me- and his date got food poisoning the day of.<br />
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No- I'm not going to my senior girl child's prom. Of course, I'm not talking about LITERALLY not going, sheesh, I'm not that bad of a smother (yes I am). No- my beautiful, amazing, smart, funny, talented Teenzilla wants absolutely NOTHING to do with her senior prom. And I am heartbroken.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEja3ijgj4UqbDy9eha9WkyLq-NI6R-OJw3qxm40JtZXIFKcEqbX3HOM6neLvwy3c2S7zN7Pj7w4EBkpO-oSpnPHzwqc-cnYWPMrHcc18GHhKU3x52CHI_WM2efxy4HMuNNCPgAhj5c6nwx2/s1600/12472278_10208918536064191_408734864197277226_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEja3ijgj4UqbDy9eha9WkyLq-NI6R-OJw3qxm40JtZXIFKcEqbX3HOM6neLvwy3c2S7zN7Pj7w4EBkpO-oSpnPHzwqc-cnYWPMrHcc18GHhKU3x52CHI_WM2efxy4HMuNNCPgAhj5c6nwx2/s200/12472278_10208918536064191_408734864197277226_n.jpg" width="142" /></a>Silly? Selfish? Yes and yes. But I accept these feelings and don't even feel bad about them. Since I birthed a girl child, I have had elaborate daydreams about first boyfriend (he was a weirdo) first formal dance (went with her friends) and PROM. The last hurrah of her high school career. Shopping! Frilly princess dress! The hair! The nails! THE SHOES! The date showing up in a limo and their perfectly matched corsage and boutonnière! The pictures! In my silly daydreams I have pictured all of this happening and it never failed to make me smile.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">THIS</td></tr>
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But my wonderful, independent, headstrong, amazing daughter isn't going. Not with a boy/girlfriend (hey- whatever makes her happy) or a group of friends- or even saying screw everything I am going by myself and I will SLAY. She HATES dances- does not like mainstream music- and has a like/dislike relationship with her classmates. Who I am I kidding- she INTENSELY dislikes the majority of her class, and I can't say I blame her- a lot of over-privileged kids (what do you expect, we live on an ISLAND FFS!) that she has nothing in common with, save a very select few who I love as if they were my own.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Yes!</td></tr>
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Nope, my amazing kiddo will not be dress shopping, will not be getting a frilly, huge, Glenda the Good Witch type dress, or getting her hair and nails done, or picked up (in a limo or otherwise), or taking a million photos, or getting embarrassed when I shed a tear or two because this truly makes her graduation and departure for college so much more real, and my little girl in pigtails is grown up.<br />
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I have nobody to blame but myself and her dad. We raised this strong woman-child, we instilled the values she has, we encouraged not following the crowd, not doing things because everyone else was and to follow her heart but listen to her brain. She has never been anything but unique. She has always been an old soul, wise beyond her years. She has never conformed to social norms, or rather never more than enough to make life a little easier on herself. She is opinionated, brash, anxious, and bold. She is an anachronism. And my heart is practically bursting with pride at the fantastic person she has become.<br />
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But I am still selfish. I still want my prom daydream. I still want all that goes along with being the mom of a senior girl getting ready to go to prom. I won't lie, I've cried about it. I threw myself a pity party and drank a bottle of wine to drown my sorrows. My self-centered sorrows. My broken daydreams.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAQ_Q3Bl0LqlwYUf0wgwdMSJASDHvTA6BWLGrYkrC4poYZ657BHdx7Ls-gP8yympLNaSRrah6SndtykIxVxlGdomLV_Ux2one5fEwLnxJDIFvXaZFRXCqr8E6nK5K-WWY2PR1EfUbeLOeg/s1600/12208838_10207821499118953_1340096311335512997_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAQ_Q3Bl0LqlwYUf0wgwdMSJASDHvTA6BWLGrYkrC4poYZ657BHdx7Ls-gP8yympLNaSRrah6SndtykIxVxlGdomLV_Ux2one5fEwLnxJDIFvXaZFRXCqr8E6nK5K-WWY2PR1EfUbeLOeg/s200/12208838_10207821499118953_1340096311335512997_n.jpg" width="166" /></a>This isn't about me. This is about this lovely young woman I have raised. This is about her ideals, wants, values, thoughts and dreams. The ones we taught her. The ones we encouraged.<br />
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Yeah... my brain knows all of this. It's my heart that is having a hard time accepting it.<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04422351778391296408noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5570620003225333931.post-24160654191188506282014-05-09T19:17:00.001-07:002014-05-10T08:47:34.012-07:00Mother's Day...Get it together family! <a be="" day.jpg="" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj24lNDw2V4TZiQsXScSHyvFFKACgMgzKaoEmy7aTXAx3F6WVBZxnNkr5dbXSNE4kKi6TbXM1ilG3DC350l2SkKsFpiGEZRcfye5qsGAZcS7v1QM7UIYJrRwjv3qkPidPaybWGKSRh22PMZ/s1600/don" let="" mother="" s="" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;" t="" this="" your=""><img be="" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj24lNDw2V4TZiQsXScSHyvFFKACgMgzKaoEmy7aTXAx3F6WVBZxnNkr5dbXSNE4kKi6TbXM1ilG3DC350l2SkKsFpiGEZRcfye5qsGAZcS7v1QM7UIYJrRwjv3qkPidPaybWGKSRh22PMZ/s200/don" day.jpg="" height="143" let="" mother="" s="" t="" this="" width="200" your="" /></a><br />
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Mother's Day. A day to honor the person who gave you life, the person who knows where everything is all of the time, the person who selflessly gives up so many things to make sure her family is happy, safe and feels loved. But flip that coin, and you can get a bitchy side. And I fully embrace my ungrateful, whiny, bitchy side when it comes to this day. For years, I smiled and gushed about how I loved the homemade gifts and home burnt, I mean, cooked breakfasts. I truly cherished any effort made to make this one day a year special. But as my kiddos have gotten older, I have noticed there is no thought, no pizzazz, no EFFORT in doing something special for me on MY day. <br />
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I am my family's EVERYTHING- as most mom's are. I am the cook, maid, chauffeur, doctor, lawyer, teacher, warden, confidant, laundress, advocate and cheerleader. I go to every meeting, school function, concert, play, you name it, I do it. I know right where that shirt you NEED is, and I will stay up late to wash it too. I do all of these things and so many more, and I do it because I love them with every fiber in my body, they are my sun and my moon, forever. <br />
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They know what I want on this ONE day to honor me. I like quiet. No video games or sports (unless I choose one of them) playing on the TV. No laundry or cleaning. No fighting among kids. Maybe take me out to breakfast or brunch. Or let me stay in bed all day if I choose with NO INTERRUPTIONS. Make me a mimosa. Or three. A day trip to the spa- now you're talking. But I most definitely do not want:<br />
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<b style="background-color: cyan;">1)A burnt, partially cold breakfast in bed. First you woke me up. Second, you made a huge mess. Third- I don't like eating in bed. The flower/weed from the yard does not pretty up this disaster. So thanks, but no thanks.<br /><br /><br />2) Asking me the day before what I want. If you haven't at least THOUGHT about Mother's Day prior to the day before- just forget it. <br /><br /><br />3) Anything that implies household chores. Vacuums, pots and pans, a 50's style apron. Nope, nope and nope. Save that shit for birthday and Christmas. <br /><br /><br />4) Jewelry. Yeah- you heard me. I wear my wedding ring, occasionally earrings if I can find a matched pair. But I don't need or want anything else. Now- get my wedding ring cleaned- that would be appreciated. <br /><br /><br /><br /></b><br />
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I would enjoy a day of chillin with the kids- binge watching something on Netflix, taking random naps- and not being responsible for anyone's meals, laundry, or have to play referee. Don't ask what needs to be done- just do it. Don't make snippy remarks to antagonize someone, and don't be sarcastic with The Boy who doesn't get it anyway, and ends up in meltdown mode. Don't ask me where ANYTHING is (unless it is my empty wine glass- I will be happy to point you in that direction) and don't begrudge me MY day. I love you all, and am grateful to have such a beautiful,wonderful family. Me getting a day "off" won't change any of that. <br />
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And please- don't forget- this is my 12th Mother's Day without my own mom. I miss her every day. This day is one of the hardest. I might be kind of weepy. Don't ask questions, and don't make a big deal of it if I burst into tears and run upstairs. It will pass. Just have another glass of wine waiting when I return- and everything will be just fine.</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04422351778391296408noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5570620003225333931.post-59415271474837260512014-03-07T16:41:00.000-08:002014-03-07T16:41:00.327-08:00Screw you Daylight Savings Time!<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.479999542236328px;"><br /></span>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.479999542236328px;">It's that time of year, the time when we "spring forward" and gain extra daylight, anticipate the arrival of spring and most importantly LOSE AN HOUR OF SLEEP! In an autism household- sleep is a precious </span><span class="IL_AD" id="IL_AD3" style="background-attachment: scroll !important; background-color: white; background-image: none !important; background-position: 0% 50%; background-repeat: repeat repeat !important; border-bottom-color: rgb(0, 153, 0) !important; border-bottom-style: solid !important; border-bottom-width: 1px !important; color: rgb(0, 153, 0) !important; cursor: pointer !important; display: inline !important; float: none !important; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; padding: 0px 0px 1px !important; position: static; text-decoration: underline !important;">commodity</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.479999542236328px;">, one that is horded like fine jewels or our favorite wine. Nighttime wanderings, odd sleep schedules and the like is something that most parents with kids on the spectrum endure. </span><span class="IL_AD" id="IL_AD7" style="background-attachment: scroll !important; background-color: white; background-image: none !important; background-position: 0% 50%; background-repeat: repeat repeat !important; border-bottom-color: rgb(0, 153, 0) !important; border-bottom-style: solid !important; border-bottom-width: 1px !important; color: rgb(0, 153, 0) !important; cursor: pointer !important; display: inline !important; float: none !important; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; padding: 0px 0px 1px !important; position: static; text-decoration: underline !important;">Melatonin</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.479999542236328px;"> is the Autism parent's best friend. But when those clocks change- at either time of the year- it can send our kids into a tailspin that can take a while to recover from.</span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.479999542236328px;" /><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.479999542236328px;">The Boy, like most autistic children, NEEDS structure and routine. He doesn't like abrupt changes in plans, although as he gets older that seems to be getting a little better. But when things don't go as they should- in his mind anyway- it is prime time for massive frustration, irritability and possible meltdowns. The time change is not just an inconvenient part of life for him. Having extra daylight means absolutely nothing to him. The clock on the wall and his internal clock are now different. While his body (and the </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.479999542236328px;">Melatonin</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.479999542236328px;">) are telling him one thing- his dad and I are telling him something different- and it messes him up. </span><br />
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In years past- the time change has been a source of agitation for the whole family. We have to adjust dinner time, medicine time and try to ensure that the first day of the time change he is resting, relaxing and hopefully prepared the following morning for <span class="IL_AD" id="IL_AD5" style="background-attachment: scroll !important; background-color: transparent !important; background-image: none !important; background-position: 0% 50%; background-repeat: repeat repeat !important; border-bottom-color: rgb(0, 153, 0) !important; border-bottom-style: solid !important; border-bottom-width: 1px !important; color: rgb(0, 153, 0) !important; cursor: pointer !important; display: inline !important; float: none !important; padding: 0px 0px 1px !important; position: static; text-decoration: underline !important;">school</span>. I can't count how many all nighters we pulled (melatonin and Clonidine would get him to dreamland, but would not keep him there.) He was moody, over <span class="IL_AD" id="IL_AD4" style="background-attachment: scroll !important; background-color: transparent !important; background-image: none !important; background-position: 0% 50%; background-repeat: repeat repeat !important; border-bottom-color: rgb(0, 153, 0) !important; border-bottom-style: solid !important; border-bottom-width: 1px !important; color: rgb(0, 153, 0) !important; cursor: pointer !important; display: inline !important; float: none !important; padding: 0px 0px 1px !important; position: static; text-decoration: underline !important;">tired</span>, and not a joy to be around at all. Our <span class="IL_AD" id="IL_AD6" style="background-attachment: scroll !important; background-color: transparent !important; background-image: none !important; background-position: 0% 50%; background-repeat: repeat repeat !important; border-bottom-color: rgb(0, 153, 0) !important; border-bottom-style: solid !important; border-bottom-width: 1px !important; color: rgb(0, 153, 0) !important; cursor: pointer !important; display: inline !important; float: none !important; padding: 0px 0px 1px !important; position: static; text-decoration: underline !important;">lack of sleep</span> made us just as irritable, and of course that made life just all around miserable for everyone. </div>
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This year, like every other year, we will spend Sunday just relaxing, keeping things quiet and make the adjustments that are needed as unobtrusively as possible. This may help, it may not. Monday is also a delayed start at school, so that may help. </div>
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I hope that we have an easy transition like we had 2 years ago, and even last year wasn't the worst. We prepare for WWIII at all holidays, family gatherings, family outings and yes for <span class="IL_AD" id="IL_AD9" style="background-attachment: scroll !important; background-color: transparent !important; background-image: none !important; background-position: 0% 50%; background-repeat: repeat repeat !important; border-bottom-color: rgb(0, 153, 0) !important; border-bottom-style: solid !important; border-bottom-width: 1px !important; color: rgb(0, 153, 0) !important; cursor: pointer !important; display: inline !important; float: none !important; padding: 0px 0px 1px !important; position: static; text-decoration: underline !important;">Daylight Savings Time</span>. Prepare for the worst, hope for the best- my life's motto. </div>
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I think that maturity plays into all of this, and the older he gets, the better he handles unexpected (or even expected) change. He lives by his calendar, and announces any and all holidays on it. So he is aware of DST, and aware we all lose an hour of sleep. And so far, nothing negative. </div>
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Now if only Mother Nature would cooperate, and stop with this polar vortex and snow crap- then we could truly feel like "springing" into anything. </div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04422351778391296408noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5570620003225333931.post-88212877546959481072014-02-25T10:00:00.000-08:002014-02-25T16:12:02.674-08:00What day is it? Donna Day!!<br />
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It has been 3 years since I read<a href="http://www.chicagonow.com/mary-tyler-mom/donnas-cancer-story-2/"> Donna's Cancer Story</a>. In that 3 years I have learned more than I ever want to know about childhood cancer. And by that I mean the things that someone on the outside rarely, if ever, know. The fear, pain, and anger that I can't even fathom. The daily minutiae of caring for a child with cancer. But the one thing that has stuck with me is the HOPE. The hope that Mary Tyler Mom keep alive, despite the fact that she lost her beautiful Donna to the evil that is cancer. Through her pain and sadness, this hope shines through. In her words, in her deeds, and in her daily life. Some days, that light might be dimmer than others, but it doesn't go out. THAT is strength folks. That is amazing.<br />
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This time last year, my Teenzilla was preparing to shave her head for the <a href="http://www.stbaldricks.org/">St. Baldrick's Foundation</a>, which began in March, 2000 as the annual reinsurance industry’s St. Patrick’s Day party, held at Jim Brady’s pub in Manhattan. The goal of shaving 17 heads and raising $17,000 turns into 19 bald heads and $104,000 donated to fund the research of the Children’s Oncology Group. </div>
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It was an emotional roller coaster, raising the money (over $1000!) and the event itself.... wow. At the time, Teenzilla was 14, a freshman in high school, and as passionate about what she was about to do as only a teenage girl can be! Mary Tyler Mom and Mary Tyler Son came from Chicago to cheer Teenzilla and her teammates on, and that too was an absolutely amazing gift- getting to meet the woman who's daughter had inspired my girl to shave off her pink hair in Donna's name</div>
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e<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKUJcGP0rS96gUac-QilCD6w_Rpy0NkweWNkUX4RhsG10iYgrBQmGgWKPHMcKo_Isx9b0VaEradPE5ulJDE68ECAAY_vqZ9j2tH5VfTItswFFn10qm4QOevhp2QMn3dZDy6ZRlCkTiAsnb/s200/188802_10200777788150581_505204681_n.jpg" height="150" width="200" /></div>
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When they called her time (3:27) to come to the staging area, I went with her and the captain of our team, Danielle, to get in line. When it was time for me to walk away, I lost it. I started sobbing, hugged them both so tight, not able to put into words how proud I was of them. Not since each of my children made their entrance into the world have I felt so overcome with pride, and emotions. I seriously felt dizzy with all the feels. There are no words to describe it.</div>
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When the time came for her to climb into that barber chair, I was shaking, crying and laughing all at the same time. Then came the moment I will never forget. A man told us that she was amazing, and how he had lost his young daughter in September and how proud HE was of our daughter for what she was doing. Again- the flood of emotions that came over me was literally staggering. I lost my mom to cancer, but I have no idea what it means to move to "Cancerville" as MTM says, and to lose a child. I call myself a warrior mom, dealing with autism, but these parents, and kids are true warriors. </div>
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My baby girl rocked her bald head, and the kids and staff at the school were incredibly supportive. I am still in awe of what she did, such a beautiful, selfless act, it's simply amazing. And what a difference a year makes! </div>
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It's a year later, the hair is grown back, and she still talks about her experience, and has said she wants to do it again- after graduation! </div>
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In celebration of Donna Day 2014- I am asking YOU, dear Wino's, to help out. There are many ways for you to be a hero to kids and their families battling cancer. </div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">1) CLICK this link-<a href="http://www.stbaldricks.org/campaigns/dgt" target="_blank">Donna's Good Things</a> It will take you to the Donna's Good Things fundraising page. Donate $5 or $500- EVERY bit helps<img alt="St. Baldrick’s Logo" src="http://www.stbaldricks.org/a/img/1x1.gif" /></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">2) CLICK this link- <a href="http://www.stbaldricks.org/events/mypage/6969/2014" target="_blank">Donna's Good Things at Candlelite Chicago</a> </span></div>
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<img alt="Donna's Good Things at Candlelite Chicago Logo" src="http://www.stbaldricks.org/photo/event/6969/2014/medium" height="200" width="200" /><span style="font-size: x-large;"> </span> </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbVnrjkff2V7dZhsOSrxJhnNFbe0XwijOO3T8jgJnXchuA_o1bZFW0FNsh26JaZVBH19k1M4i8jrpC0vOCM58-dldS_poJsBdV5K0pwPAbow1n4jqn81pazLmg7WDY_jJ87io4-YxmwB6Y/s1600/marvel-shopify2_1024x1024.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbVnrjkff2V7dZhsOSrxJhnNFbe0XwijOO3T8jgJnXchuA_o1bZFW0FNsh26JaZVBH19k1M4i8jrpC0vOCM58-dldS_poJsBdV5K0pwPAbow1n4jqn81pazLmg7WDY_jJ87io4-YxmwB6Y/s1600/marvel-shopify2_1024x1024.jpg" height="212" width="320" /></a><span style="font-size: x-large;">3) Buy one of these super cool shirts! I know that many of you share my like for superheroes and all things geektastic- Teenzilla and I both have one of these shirts, and they are very cool, and definitely attract attention- <a href="http://shop.stbaldricks.org/products/super-heroes-t-shirt" target="_blank">Marvel Super Heroes Save Lives</a> </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">4) Go to the St. Baldrick's Foundation website and read about their mission, their accomplishments and the creative ways they are funding research for pediatric cancer. CLICK this link- <a href="http://www.stbaldricks.org/" target="_blank">St Baldrick's</a></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">5) Find a shaving event near you and SHA</span><span style="font-size: x-large;">VE YOUR HEAD!!!</span></div>
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Mary Tyler Mom's family has grown, and they adopted Mary Tyler Baby just last year. And even though Donna has been gone longer than she was here, her story and legacy live on in her mom, dad and two brothers. Life does go on. </div>
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Remember MTM's mantra- Always, ALWAYS choose hope. Hope will help you make it through.</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04422351778391296408noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5570620003225333931.post-36851283682092178402013-12-31T08:02:00.001-08:002014-01-02T09:43:53.294-08:00New Year's Resolutions are for idealistic hipsters....<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
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It's that time of year again. The time when we all tell ourselves (and everyone within earshot) just how dramatically our life is about to change. Of course it is. Of course we do. Just like we did the last twenty New Year’s eves. And how well did all of THOSE turn out? Many of us are fantastic resolution makers. Beyond that, not so good. The making, good. The doing, not so good. <br />
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January is the "official" start time for change. A new year, a new you and all that jazz-you know the story. But if you really think about it- shouldn't you be making changes all year long? Why the hell are you waiting till the end of the year or the start of a new year? If your life was screwed up before 12/31, its going to be screwed up going into the new year. "But this year will be different!" you are probably saying or thinking as you read this. I truly wish you the best of luck with that. I know for myself- making a "resolution" is basically setting myself up for failure- because NOBODY holds me to higher standards than me- so when I fail- I fail HARD. <br />
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Let's count my resolution failures shall we?<br />
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1) Years 2002-2010- Going to lose weight and get into shape and eat better (even joined a gym for 5 of those years- have you seen my fat ass?) <br />
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2) Years 2005-2010- Going to quit smoking (quit for 6 months in '06, and again for 4 months in '08. The rest of the year's, maybe quit for a couple of weeks maybe a month)<br />
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3) Years 2001- 2010- Going to stop "sweating the small stuff" (OK- I have relaxed a little more over the years)<br />
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4) Years 2001-2010- Going to work with my hubby to make and stick to a budget (We try, all year round- getting better, but still not there)<br />
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So yeah- the biggest resolutions most people make, are my biggest failures.Damn. It's kind of depressing. I have come to the realization that if you make a resolution you might as well throw a penny in a fountain and make a wish. It’s the same hopeful optimism that drives both activities. No "resolution" will work unless you have formulated a plan- written it down and gave yourself reasonable time to complete it. And I repeat- why didn't you (or I) do this earlier in the year? I have needed to lose weight ALL YEAR. I have needed to quit smoking ALL YEAR. I have needed to save money and take better control of my finances ALL YEAR. The changing of the calendar after drinking, eating and smoking to my heart's content is not magical in itself. If only! Then we would all be thin beautiful, rich non smokers and there would be peace on Earth yadda yadda yadda. <br />
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If I am going to try to better myself, I should be doing it year-round. It should be a constant goal, not something marked on a calendar. I know that these things need to start at some point, and what I need to do. I also know that falling on my ass and looking like a total schmuck and then beating myself up over my dismal failure is not a good strategy. <br />
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So despite an abysmal track record and a vast wasteland of shattered dreams, we continue to approach every New Year the same way; with the same pointless strategy. Isn't the definition of insanity doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome? So that must mean that a whole bunch of us are off our nut insane because that’s exactly what we do. <br />
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2013 hasn't been a horrible year- of course we had our setbacks, but there was a lot of good too. I'm still in school, The Mister is 3 classes away from his Bachelor's Degree (I am a year out- but hey almost there!), I got an amazing job as lead teacher and director of a great preschool, The Boy went away to camp for a week and we both survived, Teenzilla shaved her head for St. Baldrick's, (still blown away by that!) I got to meet <a href="http://www.chicagonow.com/mary-tyler-mom/">Mary Tyler Mom</a> at the shaving event- that was fantastic! I was a very loud advocate for The Boy and spread autism awareness like fairy dust all year, I got to watch a beautiful woman realize the dream of becoming a mom, to TWINS- <a href="http://www.chicagonow.com/i-want-a-dumpster-baby/">I Want a Dumpster Baby</a> has been a source of many smiles and happiness for me this year! I am pretty happy with 2013 for the most part, and look forward to a productive 2014. <br />
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I won't be making one single solitary resolution though. With the exception of those born on January 1, none of us are actually a full year older on New Year’s day. I challenge challenge everyone today to stop looking at the new year as a means to an end and to start looking at every moment as an opportunity for a new beginning. So eat, drink and be merry ,and just be just realistic, thankful, and hopeful.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04422351778391296408noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5570620003225333931.post-84013709016991792912013-12-15T16:18:00.000-08:002013-12-15T16:48:11.552-08:00The holiDAZE with Autism<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">The HoliDAZE and Autism... two things that don't often mix well. The rushing, the loud music, the winter </span><span class="IL_AD" id="IL_AD12" style="background-attachment: scroll !important; background-color: white; background-image: none !important; background-position: 0% 50%; background-repeat: repeat repeat !important; border-bottom-color: rgb(0, 153, 0) !important; border-bottom-style: solid !important; border-bottom-width: 1px !important; color: rgb(0, 153, 0) !important; cursor: pointer !important; display: inline !important; float: none !important; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px; padding: 0px 0px 1px !important; position: static; text-decoration: underline !important;">clothes</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">, the crowds, and new foods can all be a sensory NIGHTMARE for </span><span class="IL_AD" id="IL_AD2" style="background-attachment: scroll !important; background-color: white; background-image: none !important; background-position: 0% 50%; background-repeat: repeat repeat !important; border-bottom-color: rgb(0, 153, 0) !important; border-bottom-style: solid !important; border-bottom-width: 1px !important; color: rgb(0, 153, 0) !important; cursor: pointer !important; display: inline !important; float: none !important; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px; padding: 0px 0px 1px !important; position: static; text-decoration: underline !important;">the child with Autism</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">. Meltdowns are more likely to happen during this time of year- and with all of the other things going on it is VERY easy as a parent to get overwhelmed ourselves. So here are some things that we have found helps us out this crazy time of year...and being blessed with a child who has High Functioning Autism, we have it easier than some folks. But these tips can be helpful for ANY child and frazzled parent. So here goes...</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">1)This time of year is filled with meeting new people and the social stresses of being polite, and thanking people for gifts can put a BIG strain on a kiddo on the spectrum. Social stories are AMAZING helpers - but so is a willingness as parents to be understanding, TRY and limit interactions that involve a lot of new people and settings. Don't do too much on any one day, if possible- limit things to one event a day</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">.</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">And if at all possible- try to entertain at your house- this gives your child a safe environment where expectations are understood.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhu9-6XpeSyAvOsjJMe74ppq_8kaaHc-xDJq7IsC85uV86ShGzMeKScUm-v00sXGCMOHX8vT60sDXFmsaqTd76stP_9fwYcIGJdsmQtzG6yUKZZwgdklnXzcZwoT_OtjilR4CIPDy_F9FSE/s1600/christmas_holidays.gif" imageanchor="1" style="background-color: white; clear: left; color: #6d6d6d; float: left; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center; text-decoration: none;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhu9-6XpeSyAvOsjJMe74ppq_8kaaHc-xDJq7IsC85uV86ShGzMeKScUm-v00sXGCMOHX8vT60sDXFmsaqTd76stP_9fwYcIGJdsmQtzG6yUKZZwgdklnXzcZwoT_OtjilR4CIPDy_F9FSE/s200/christmas_holidays.gif" style="-webkit-box-shadow: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.0980392) 1px 1px 5px; border: 1px solid rgb(230, 230, 230); box-shadow: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.0980392) 1px 1px 5px; padding: 5px; position: relative;" width="157" /></a><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">2)Schedules tend to change A LOT this time of year. And as I am sure any parent of an autistic child will tell you, schedules and predictability are VITAL in keeping the peace. Try and keep the daily </span><span class="IL_AD" id="IL_AD9" style="background-attachment: scroll !important; background-color: white; background-image: none !important; background-position: 0% 50%; background-repeat: repeat repeat !important; border-bottom-color: rgb(0, 153, 0) !important; border-bottom-style: solid !important; border-bottom-width: 1px !important; color: rgb(0, 153, 0) !important; cursor: pointer !important; display: inline !important; float: none !important; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px; padding: 0px 0px 1px !important; position: static; text-decoration: underline !important;">schedule</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"> as close to "normal" as possible. Have a chill out time if you can. Try and include (if and when appropriate) your kiddos in the process. Put events on a </span><span class="IL_AD" id="IL_AD8" style="background-attachment: scroll !important; background-color: white; background-image: none !important; background-position: 0% 50%; background-repeat: repeat repeat !important; border-bottom-color: rgb(0, 153, 0) !important; border-bottom-style: solid !important; border-bottom-width: 1px !important; color: rgb(0, 153, 0) !important; cursor: pointer !important; display: inline !important; float: none !important; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px; padding: 0px 0px 1px !important; position: static; text-decoration: underline !important;">calendar</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"> just for them- then remind them as time gets closer- it helps to take the mystery out of something new- as they can get ready by watching the count down. Each morning, share that day's </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">schedule </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">with the kids, and only that day's </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">schedule</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">. Don't worry about tomorrow or next week. Again- SOCIAL STORIES!! Can't say enough about them!</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">3)Sensory issues during </span><span class="IL_AD" id="IL_AD10" style="background-attachment: scroll !important; background-color: white; background-image: none !important; background-position: 0% 50%; background-repeat: repeat repeat !important; border-bottom-color: rgb(0, 153, 0) !important; border-bottom-style: solid !important; border-bottom-width: 1px !important; color: rgb(0, 153, 0) !important; cursor: pointer !important; display: inline !important; float: none !important; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px; padding: 0px 0px 1px !important; position: static; text-decoration: underline !important;">the holidays</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"> - where to begin? New foods, new textures, new sounds....it can be a veritable mine field for a autistic child. Some things that might help are Keep </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">clothes</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"> soft and comfortable,</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">( this is particularly hard for me as I am the "Let's get dressed up" mom). Serve a favorite at meals, or have them eat before. This is a cardinal rule in our house- nothing worse than a hungry kid -ANY kid. Don't force hello's and goodbyes- this is a chaotic time with a lot going on- forcing the issue is NOT in anyone's best interest! Crowded malls bring out the worst in people- imagine not having the ability to filter all of the noise, touching, lights and loud people- you would meltdown too!! Try and shop without then kid - you will BOTH be better off! </span><br />
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4) Make sure family and friends are well informed about your child's "quirks". What might be mistaken as obnoxious or rude behavior is more than likely just a part of your autistic child's personality. Seeing the world in <span class="IL_AD" id="IL_AD5" style="background-attachment: scroll !important; background-color: transparent !important; background-image: none !important; background-position: 0% 50%; background-repeat: repeat repeat !important; border-bottom-color: rgb(0, 153, 0) !important; border-bottom-style: solid !important; border-bottom-width: 1px !important; color: rgb(0, 153, 0) !important; cursor: pointer !important; display: inline !important; float: none !important; padding: 0px 0px 1px !important; position: static; text-decoration: underline !important;">black and white</span> can be a blessing and a curse. Especially around the holidays when we might be interacting with people that we don't see often, and who may not always be on our <span class="IL_AD" id="IL_AD7" style="background-attachment: scroll !important; background-color: transparent !important; background-image: none !important; background-position: 0% 50%; background-repeat: repeat repeat !important; border-bottom-color: rgb(0, 153, 0) !important; border-bottom-style: solid !important; border-bottom-width: 1px !important; color: rgb(0, 153, 0) !important; cursor: pointer !important; display: inline !important; float: none !important; padding: 0px 0px 1px !important; position: static; text-decoration: underline !important;">top 10</span> list. Make sure guests are aware that your kid may need a break- and they are walking away without answering because they feel overwhelmed, not because they are being a brat. Or (especially in our house) the kiddo answering a question or engaging in conversation that is COMPLETELY about dinosaurs- just smile and nod- we will take care of it when it seems to be out of control. Remember, they want to be involved too- but if you ask a lot of questions that is usually a sure way to shut them down. Also- processing time is usually longer, so be patient and wait for your answer! </div>
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5)Find ways that your kid can help to make the holidays their own. Baking, <span class="IL_AD" id="IL_AD6" style="background-attachment: scroll !important; background-color: transparent !important; background-image: none !important; background-position: 0% 50%; background-repeat: repeat repeat !important; border-bottom-color: rgb(0, 153, 0) !important; border-bottom-style: solid !important; border-bottom-width: 1px !important; color: rgb(0, 153, 0) !important; cursor: pointer !important; display: inline !important; float: none !important; padding: 0px 0px 1px !important; position: static; text-decoration: underline !important;">decorating</span>, setting the table, helping with <span class="IL_AD" id="IL_AD3" style="background-attachment: scroll !important; background-color: transparent !important; background-image: none !important; background-position: 0% 50%; background-repeat: repeat repeat !important; border-bottom-color: rgb(0, 153, 0) !important; border-bottom-style: solid !important; border-bottom-width: 1px !important; color: rgb(0, 153, 0) !important; cursor: pointer !important; display: inline !important; float: none !important; padding: 0px 0px 1px !important; position: static; text-decoration: underline !important;">Christmas cards</span>- be as creative as you can. This is an amazing tradition <span class="IL_AD" id="IL_AD4" style="background-attachment: scroll !important; background-color: transparent !important; background-image: none !important; background-position: 0% 50%; background-repeat: repeat repeat !important; border-bottom-color: rgb(0, 153, 0) !important; border-bottom-style: solid !important; border-bottom-width: 1px !important; color: rgb(0, 153, 0) !important; cursor: pointer !important; display: inline !important; float: none !important; padding: 0px 0px 1px !important; position: static; text-decoration: underline !important;">builder</span> as well as making Christmas with Autism a good time for all. </div>
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6) And please don't forget about US. As parents to a kiddo on the spectrum, we spend a great deal of our time keeping schedules, trying to make sure other siblings aren't losing out on things they like as well, school issues, friend issues, and the holiDAZE are no exception. We don't get to enjoy holiday functions and family gatherings, probably because we are trying to keep the kiddo on an even keel,so most times we just don't get to go at all. We get a little stressed, overwhelmed and lonely too. Stop by with some of those cookies the whole family got together to make- you know- that fun event we decided not to attend because our ASD kiddo is all over the place, meltdown conditions are high, and the time of evening it is at is NOT the best time for him. Please don't assume that just because he is older, he is "better." Not how it works. For us- early signs of puberty are starting- so now we have a whole new set of challenges. Everybody is dealing with their own challenges with autism and the holiDAZE- just remember- be patient, and be kind. We really appreciate it. </div>
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So whether it is a Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa, Blessed Yule or Merry Jar of Dirt for you- I hope some of these will help. And please- by all means wish me a Happy/Merry/Blessed whatever- I promise not to be offended.... I will be happy you took a minute to say something nice to me. </div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04422351778391296408noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5570620003225333931.post-22000225274242847692013-11-17T12:11:00.000-08:002013-11-17T12:11:58.146-08:00One pissed off white suburban mom<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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You know what? I really want to thank U.S. Education Secretary, Arne Duncan, for pointing out that the only reason I am against Common Core is because I am a white suburban mom who has realized my kids aren't geniuses. WHEW! Thanks for that Mr. Duncan. Here I was thinking that Common Core was a reboot of No Child Left Behind, another one size fits all set of educational standards that failed spectacularly. But clearly, as you so succinctly pointed out- it is ME who is missing the point- what with all my "helicopter mom" antics and happy ignorance of my children's poor education. I am thrilled that you find it "“fascinating” that some of the opposition to the Common Core State Standards has come from “white suburban moms who — all of a sudden — their child isn’t as brilliant as they thought they were, and their school isn’t quite as good as they thought they were.” (P.S. what kind of sentence is this? Seriously- YOU are in charge of education?)<br />
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<b>(If you haven't read the article- please read it <a href="http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/answer-sheet/wp/2013/11/16/arne-duncan-white-surburban-moms-upset-that-common-core-shows-their-kids-arent-brilliant/">here</a>- I am not exaggerating or joking)</b></div>
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I was apparently completely wrong in thinking that the Common Core State Standards (CCSS) were developmentally inappropriate, micro-managing attempt to guarantee that teachers will teach to the test and attempt to turn otherwise bright, imaginative students into fact regurgitating drones that are unhappy, frustrated and worst of all- NOT LEARNING. I guess I was wrong about the fact that CCSS is a program that is paid for by billionaires, and "researched" by people who have zero educational background. And I must have misunderstood that states have been threatened to implement this very flawed set of standards or lose federal funds. <br />
And when you said "<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #2c2c2c; font-family: Georgia, serif;"><span style="line-height: 26px;"><i>The Common Core has become a rallying cry for fringe groups that claim it is a scheme for the federal government to usurp state and local control of what students learn. An op-ed in the New York Times called the Common Core “a radical curriculum.” It is neither radical nor a curriculum. … When the critics can’t persuade you that the Common Core is a curriculum, they make even more outlandish claims. They say that the Common Core calls for federal collection of student data. For the record, it doesn’t, we’re not allowed to, and we won’t. And let’s not even get into the really wacky stuff: mind control, robots, and biometric brain mapping" </i></span></span></span>were you referring to the<a href="http://www.ed.gov/edblogs/technology/files/2013/02/OET-Draft-Grit-Report-2-17-13.pdf"> DOE, February 2013 report</a> that has pictures of the exact biometric devices you are claiming you can't use? I don't know about mind control- but YOUR department put this study out. (See page 44, article 11) I am really confused now. This coming from the same man who said that the best thing to happen to the education system in New Orleans was Hurricane Katrina. WHAT THE HELL??<br />
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And I must be completely delusional to think that white suburban mom's are the only concerned parents. Apparently no other race or ethnicity or socio-economic group is worried and angry about CCSS. And dad's well- what do they even care? Let's not even consider special needs students who will be expected to perform right alongside their peers, regardless of ability. I mean- your goal is "preparing for a global economy" - and apparently these children, the ones with autism, ADHD, dyslexia, etc. etc. etc. do not fit yours and your billionaire backers molds.<br />
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My kids may not be geniuses, but they are smart. They are capable of learning- yes, even my son with Autism. I have watched my daughter work her ass off to maintain an A average. She wasn't coddled, she wasn't told she was great no matter what she did. She was, and is held to a higher standard, and her hard work and perseverance and continually <strike>good </strike> great report cards are evidence of that. I have watched my son work hard to understand concepts, and have modified curriculum for him, to help his differently functioning brain understand concepts. I do not feel like I was "punched in the gut" by the horribly low standards my kids were being held to. Because they weren't. But maybe that is just my "delusional" belief.<br />
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Mr. Duncan- your rude, racist, sexist remarks are disgusting and have pissed off many, many people. Not just we white suburban moms. . And YOU are in charge of our children's education? It terrifies me to think where my very intelligent children will be when they graduate if this ridiculous set of standards continues to permeate and destroy our schools. Good teachers are leaving their jobs because<br />
<a name='more'></a>they refuse to do this to their students. But that's OK, right? Just open up another charter school, and staff it with Teach for America "teachers" who achieved highly qualified status in a few weeks. Common Core is not research based, punishes those in poverty or with special needs and creates a hostile environment between teachers and parents- who are supposed to be partners in education. I don't disagree that standards are important- but educational leaders, seasoned teachers and the STATES need to be driving these reforms. Not Bill and Melinda Gates.<br />
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Congratulations on angering a shitload of white suburban moms who in their delusional state of mind will be more than willing to discuss what you have said with everyone they know, on social media sites, and wow- the mommy bloggers (ugh I hate that term- but it fits) will have a field day. <br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04422351778391296408noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5570620003225333931.post-57040640597168493542013-11-10T10:42:00.000-08:002013-11-10T10:43:19.847-08:00What's that holiday between Halloween and Christmas? <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">It's November- time for family, and being thankful, and of course time to start thinking about Christmas.... NO!!! </span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18px;">This year Christmas was starting before Halloween! I really hate that. Let me eat my turkey and pumpkin pie dammit! Going into a </span><span class="IL_AD" id="IL_AD5" style="background-attachment: scroll !important; background-color: white; background-image: none !important; background-position: 0% 50%; background-repeat: repeat repeat !important; border-bottom-color: rgb(0, 153, 0) !important; border-bottom-style: solid !important; border-bottom-width: 1px !important; color: rgb(0, 153, 0) !important; cursor: pointer !important; display: inline !important; float: none !important; line-height: 18px; padding: 0px 0px 1px !important; position: static; text-decoration: underline !important;">store</span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18px;"> and hearing </span><span class="IL_AD" id="IL_AD2" style="background-attachment: scroll !important; background-color: white; background-image: none !important; background-position: 0% 50%; background-repeat: repeat repeat !important; border-bottom-color: rgb(0, 153, 0) !important; border-bottom-style: solid !important; border-bottom-width: 1px !important; color: rgb(0, 153, 0) !important; cursor: pointer !important; display: inline !important; float: none !important; line-height: 18px; padding: 0px 0px 1px !important; position: static; text-decoration: underline !important;">Christmas carols </span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18px;">BEFORE </span><span class="IL_AD" id="IL_AD10" style="background-attachment: scroll !important; background-color: white; background-image: none !important; background-position: 0% 50%; background-repeat: repeat repeat !important; border-bottom-color: rgb(0, 153, 0) !important; border-bottom-style: solid !important; border-bottom-width: 1px !important; color: rgb(0, 153, 0) !important; cursor: pointer !important; display: inline !important; float: none !important; line-height: 18px; padding: 0px 0px 1px !important; position: static; text-decoration: underline !important;">Thanksgiving makes me want to punch an elf. </span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18px;"> I know I am not alone. As much as I love the holiday season- I really, really hate that it starts so damn early.</span><br style="background-color: white; line-height: 18px;" /><br style="background-color: white; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18px;">So in the spirit of upcoming Turkey Day- here are a couple of </span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18px;">Thanksgiving</span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18px;"> Carols...I am sure you can figure out the </span><span class="IL_AD" id="IL_AD4" style="background-attachment: scroll !important; background-color: white; background-image: none !important; background-position: 0% 50%; background-repeat: repeat repeat !important; border-bottom-color: rgb(0, 153, 0) !important; border-bottom-style: solid !important; border-bottom-width: 1px !important; color: rgb(0, 153, 0) !important; cursor: pointer !important; display: inline !important; float: none !important; line-height: 18px; padding: 0px 0px 1px !important; position: static; text-decoration: underline !important;">tunes</span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18px;"> on your own. Enjoy! </span></span><br />
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<u><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A THANKSGIVING SONG</span></u></h4>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Tur-KEY roasting on an open fire,</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Gravy <span class="IL_AD" id="IL_AD8" style="background-attachment: scroll !important; background-color: transparent !important; background-image: none !important; background-position: 0% 50%; background-repeat: repeat repeat !important; border-bottom-color: rgb(0, 153, 0) !important; border-bottom-style: solid !important; border-bottom-width: 1px !important; color: rgb(0, 153, 0) !important; cursor: pointer !important; display: inline !important; float: none !important; padding: 0px 0px 1px !important; position: static; text-decoration: underline !important;">cooking</span> on the <span class="IL_AD" id="IL_AD9" style="background-attachment: scroll !important; background-color: transparent !important; background-image: none !important; background-position: 0% 50%; background-repeat: repeat repeat !important; border-bottom-color: rgb(0, 153, 0) !important; border-bottom-style: solid !important; border-bottom-width: 1px !important; color: rgb(0, 153, 0) !important; cursor: pointer !important; display: inline !important; float: none !important; padding: 0px 0px 1px !important; position: static; text-decoration: underline !important;">stove</span>.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Thanksgiving carols being sung by a fire,</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Our eyes as big as Oreos.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Everybody knows some turkey and some cranberries</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Help to make the season bright.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Tiny tots with their eyes all aglow</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Will find it hard to <span class="IL_AD" id="IL_AD7" style="background-attachment: scroll !important; background-color: transparent !important; background-image: none !important; background-position: 0% 50%; background-repeat: repeat repeat !important; border-bottom-color: rgb(0, 153, 0) !important; border-bottom-style: solid !important; border-bottom-width: 1px !important; color: rgb(0, 153, 0) !important; cursor: pointer !important; display: inline !important; float: none !important; padding: 0px 0px 1px !important; position: static; text-decoration: underline !important;">sleep</span> tonight.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">They know Thanks-GIHHHHVVV-ing’s on its way,</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And that means lots of white and dark meat on a tray.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And every mother’s child is gonna try</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">To see if they can eat everything on the <span class="IL_AD" id="IL_AD6" style="background-attachment: scroll !important; background-color: transparent !important; background-image: none !important; background-position: 0% 50%; background-repeat: repeat repeat !important; border-bottom-color: rgb(0, 153, 0) !important; border-bottom-style: solid !important; border-bottom-width: 1px !important; color: rgb(0, 153, 0) !important; cursor: pointer !important; display: inline !important; float: none !important; padding: 0px 0px 1px !important; position: static; text-decoration: underline !important;">table</span> and not die.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And so I’m offering this simple phrase</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">For kids from 1 to 92.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Although it’s been said, many times, many ways,</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Merry Turkeyday</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Tooooooooooooooooooooo</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<u><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">THANKSGIVING</span></u></h4>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I’m dreaming of a Thanks-giving</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Just like the ones I used to know.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Where the turkeys glisten</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And children listen</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">To hear someone at the do’.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I’m dreaming of a Thanks-giving</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">With every mouthful that I bite.<br />
<span style="text-indent: 1em;">May your days be merry and bright.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: 1em;">And may all your Thanksgivings-es </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> be all right.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: 1em;">Here's hoping that you will be singing these LOUDLY the</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: 1em;"> </span><span class="IL_AD" id="IL_AD3" style="background-attachment: scroll !important; background-color: transparent !important; background-image: none !important; background-position: 0% 50%; border-bottom-color: rgb(0, 153, 0) !important; border-bottom-style: solid !important; border-bottom-width: 1px !important; color: rgb(0, 153, 0) !important; cursor: pointer !important; display: inline !important; float: none !important; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; padding: 0px 0px 1px !important; position: static; text-decoration: underline !important; text-indent: 1em;">next</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: 1em;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: 1em;">time you are in a</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: 1em;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: 1em;">store</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: 1em;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: 1em;">that insists on Christmas carols</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: 1em;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: 1em;">too damn early. Who knows, maybe it will catch on! </span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04422351778391296408noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5570620003225333931.post-88563079854973887822013-11-05T13:31:00.000-08:002013-11-05T15:16:32.489-08:00PARENTS!!! What do you know about Common Core? <div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b style="background-color: yellow;">*WARNING* LONG POST- BUT IMPORTANT FOR PARENTS TO READ!!!!</b></span></div>
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First of all- let me give you a brief overview of what (we are being told) Common Core is:<br />
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<i>The Common Core State Standards provide a consistent, clear understanding of what students are expected to learn, so teachers and parents know what they need to do to help them. The standards are designed to be robust and relevant to the real world, reflecting the knowledge and skills that our young people need for success in college and careers. With American students fully prepared for the future, our communities will be best positioned to compete successfully in the global economy.</i>( <a href="http://www.corestandards.org/">http://www.corestandards.org/</a>)</div>
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OK- sounds great, right? We all know that our education system needs to reflect the world's demands and to be relevant and successful in a global economy, right? And thanks to No Child Left Behind- we are on our way- and Common Core is just another step to achieve these goals. </div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b>WAIT! </b></span></div>
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No Child Left Behind was an abysmal failure. Underfunded, poorly administrated, it concentrated on TEACHER performance and test taking. It didn't address the very real issues of poverty, special education, overcrowded classrooms and frustrated teachers. Schools were expected to meet AYP (annual yearly progress) with no consideration of circumstances that would affect this progress that was beyond teacher and school district control. </div>
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Common Core State Standards (CCSS) were developed by an organization called Achieve and the National Governors Association, both of which were generously funded by the Gates Foundation. Yes- Bill and Melinda Gates, There was little, if any public engagement in the development of the Common Core.<br />
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This was not a grassroots initiative, nor did the ideas come from the states or from TEACHERS (who are the real innovators and push change in education). In fact, it was well understood by states that they would not be eligible for Race to the Top funding ($4.35 billion) unless they adopted the Common Core standards. (Education historian Diane Ravitch) So under threat of lost funding, something a majority of public schools cannot exist without- this set of fundamentally flawed, UNTESTED standards were rammed through -now in 46 states.<br />
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In the interest of looking at both sides- I can say one positive thing about CCSS. The small percentage of children who happen to move state to state won’t have to worry about getting caught up or being too far ahead of their new peers. The standards will be aligned in all of the states that have adopted them. Whoopty friggin do.<br />
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Let's talk about developmental appropriateness. The developers and promoters of the standards claim they are based in research. This is a lie. For example, there is no convincing research showing that certain skills or bits of knowledge (such as counting to 100 or being able to read a certain number of words) if mastered in kindergarten will lead to later success in school. Two recent studies, one from a lab at <a href="http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0010027710002258">MIT</a> and another from <a href="http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0010027710002921">U.C Berkeley</a> show that direct instruction can actually limit young children’s learning. At best, the standards reflect guesswork, not cognitive or developmental science. Children cannot run before they can crawl- it's as simple as that.<br />
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Teaching a child how to think critically is important- of course. But years and years of research and studies and child development models and theories have shown that their brains MUST be developed enough to even take on the kinds of things CCSS is expecting.<br />
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Take ELA in Kindergarten. These 5-6 year old children are to be writing persuasive arguments. When do they learn sentence structure, grammar, punctuation, and most importantly at that young age, spelling? Sight words, counting and following directions are an integral part of the kindergarten day. Writing persuasive sentences as to why they do not want to eat their vegetables is not.<br />
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ELA is to be included in science and social studies- which in an of itself is not a problem. Cross-curricular teaching is a great way to reinforce topics. But- instead of reading classic literature by authors such as Twain, Dickens, Steinbeck, Paterson, Hinton and many more, kids will be expected to read "informational text". Currently a 50-50 split, but looking to go 70-30 by the high school years. Informational text is an important thing to learn, sure, but the emphasis on informational text over literature is ridiculous. </div>
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Let's take a look at the math standards under CCSS. Many of these standards require that students are able to explain why a particular procedure works. Not inherently bad, but confusing as hell. It's not enough for a student to be able to divide one fraction by another. They must also "use the relationship between multiplication and division to explain that (2/3) ÷ (3/4) = 8/9, because 3/4 of 8/9 is 2/3." Forcing this higher level mathematical thinking on young children when they are not ready to learn it yet is counterproductive! Mathematics Professor R. James Milgram of Stanford University, the only mathematician on the Validation Committee, refused to sign off on the math standards, "because they would put many students two years behind those of many high-achieving countries." For example, Algebra 1 would be taught in 9th grade, not 8th grade for many students, making calculus inaccessible to them in high school. The quality of the standards is low and not internationally benchmarked.<br />
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Now, let's look at CCSS and Special Education. Holding students, such as mine to a higher standard is also not a "bad" thing. When a student (like mine) was never given the opportunity in elementary school to learn what they are now doing in the 6th grade, when I was told he CAN'T learn (utter bullshit BTW) is subjected to these standards you know what happens?? A vicious cycle of test re-takes, misunderstood assignments, frustration, tears,and increased anxiety. These are the things that I have to watch my child go through. </div>
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Because CCSS standardizes all learning, it ignores any variables to the unique learning styles of the individual child. The thinking patterns of individuals with ASD are extremely different from the way in which neurotypical people think. Because of this, too much emphasis is placed on what they ‘can’t do.’ While impairments and challenges do exist, greater progress can be made teaching these individuals when parents and teachers work on building the child’s strengths and teach in a manner that is aligned with their basic pattern of thinking. Thinking in pictures, patterns, words and visually are hallmarks of the autistic mind. As Temple Grandin said, "The word thinker may be poor at drawing but have a huge memory for facts such as sports statistics or film stars." Or in The Boy's case- dinosaurs. Yet he has to consistently DRAW pictures for standards bases assessments- setting him up for failure. Common Core State Standards are untested, biased, inferior, and detrimental to children with Autism, Dyslexia, ADD, ADHD and other alternate thinking and learning minds. </div>
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If teachers asked themselves "Are students, all students, but especially students with disabilities, being given an ‘appropriate’ education with Common Core State Standards?" I would fall over if any actually said "Yes." Because they are NOT. And when a teacher tells me "Either we use a pass/fail grading system in ELA or he just fails" my faith in educators is even more shaken than before. </div>
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How many parents are aware of The State Longitudinal Database System (SLDS) or the P20? Have you even heard these terms before? The SLDS, is a comprehensive database compiled on each <b><u>child, teacher and parent.</u></b> This data is not aggregate data, it is linked specifically to the child. <b>M<u>Y child</u></b>. <b><u>YOUR child</u></b>. This data will follow the child through to their adult years into the workforce. Sounds like something straight out of an Orwell novel doesn't it? According to the United States Department of Labor, this SLDS will <i>“Enable workforce data to be matched with education data to ultimately create longitudinal data systems with individual-level information beginning with pre-kindergarten through post-secondary schooling all the way through entry and sustained participation in the workforce and employment services system.” </i>This means that the public schools will be supplying the U.S. government a digital record of our children's statistics, aggregate information down to personality traits starting in kindergarten all the way through high school. And the President is already talking about an Early Learning initiative that will affect our PRESCHOOL AGE CHILDREN! </div>
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AND- are you sitting down for this? ALL of this data can be shared with just about anyone <b><u>without parental consent</u></b> thanks to the president's revisions to FERPA in 2011. Under this revision there are several different ways that all of your child's information can be shared- WITH JUST ABOUT ANYONE. Scared yet?? If you weren't worried about the "rigorous" , developmentally inappropriate educational goals being set for your kids- how does having your kid's (and your) entire history, such as health conditions, parent voting status and political affiliations, blood type, religion, etc. make you feel? Teachers and administrators can also add notes about personality, effort and any other information they want to add. And all of this is available to just about ANYONE- without YOU consenting or hell, even KNOWING about it. How about the use of physical devices that are slated to be used? Facial expression cameras, "posture analysis seat," "pressure mouse," and "wireless skin conductance sensor?" These are propsed by the DOE- and you can actually see pictures of them in their February 2013 report! How's that for Orwellian? </div>
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This invasion of privacy makes the NSA spying look like a game. Our children, that we do anything to protect, are now under the watchful eye of the U.S. Government. You have seen the news about conservative groups being targeted by the IRS, right? How about a child from a conservative family? Or a child from a liberal family, or a family who embraces an alternate religion? How will they be pigeonholed in school? What are the ramifications of this data collection on our children when they grow up and enter the workforce? I don't know about you, but this literally makes me sick to my stomach. </div>
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It is our job as parents to protect our children and demand they not be a part of giant data collection project that will collect personal information and then sell it to for profit corporations. I don't know about you- but I question how the hell selling my child's personal information to corporations has any bearing on how and what they learn? Do you really want your child TRACKED from the cradle to the grave? I would be willing to bet the answer is a resounding HELL NO! </div>
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Parents- your voice, your input is being systematically eliminated from your child's education. Teachers are leaving their profession because they cannot bear to "teach" in this manner. Children are anxious, overwhelmed and stressed. Parents assume that because the word "reform" is attached to all of this that it is all good.<br />
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A one size fits all attempt to standardize every school in the country is WRONG. Corporations have no business in our schools. Stand up to intrusive, doomed to fail government education "reform". Learn all you can about Common Core practices and learn about Opt Out options. This is not the future of education- it's the destruction of it.<br />
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Further reading<br />
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<a href="http://www.ed.gov/edblogs/technology/files/2013/02/OET-Draft-Grit-Report-2-17-13.pdf">http://www.ed.gov/edblogs/technology/files/2013/02/OET-Draft-Grit-Report-2-17-13.pdf</a><br />
(pg 44, exhibit 11)</div>
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<a href="http://dianeravitch.com/">http://dianeravitch.com/</a></div>
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<a href="http://www.slate.com/articles/double_x/doublex/2011/03/why_preschool_shouldnt_be_like_school.html">http://www.slate.com/articles/double_x/doublex/2011/03/why_preschool_shouldnt_be_like_school.html</a></div>
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<a href="http://townhall.com/columnists/rachelalexander/2013/03/18/common-core-whats-hidden-behind-the-language-n1537017/page/full">http://townhall.com/columnists/rachelalexander/2013/03/18/common-core-whats-hidden-behind-the-language-n1537017/page/full</a><br />
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<a href="http://truthinamericaneducation.com/common-core-state-standards/michigan-house-passes-common-core-implementation-with-local-opt-out/">http://truthinamericaneducation.com/common-core-state-standards/michigan-house-passes-common-core-implementation-with-local-opt-out/</a></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04422351778391296408noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5570620003225333931.post-70781666769165854062013-10-28T16:45:00.000-07:002013-10-28T16:45:31.214-07:00I'm really not telling you how to do your job....much<br />
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The Boy is struggling in middle school. There are a variety of reasons for his struggles: 1) Executive functioning issues- which means he has problems with organizing, prioritizing and activating to work, focusing, sustaining and shifting attention to tasks, managing frustration and modulating emotions, and utilizing working memory and accessing recall. These are all things we have been working with for years, and while he has made progress, 6th grade is causing something of a regression, and that has me VERY worried. 2) Not properly prepared in elementary school. When you are having a child with an above average IQ do way below grade level work, not having any expectations at all, and not truly using inclusion strategies, despite my constant advocating, questioning and practically living at the school, these issues in middle school are a direct result. 3) Common core (or power standards as they call them here). Common Core has no business being in ANY classroom! It is fundamentally flawed, and does NOTHING for students in special education.<br />
4) Teachers that still expect NOTHING from him, promoting laziness (YES- to some degree!) and no desire to try harder because why? Nobody expects it. Assuming he is unable, as opposed to presuming he can. Which is somewhat ironic, as the "power standards" are all "I Can" statements.<br />
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So when I question HOW he is being taught, and the reason WHY he is taking re-take after re-take, while still supposedly moving ahead in the classes, and trying to take notes, and remember everything (see number 1 above), question WHY differentiated teaching is not being utilized, and I get an email saying that he will be taking notes and tests utilizing "lower level thinking" is it any wonder I get ANGRY?? (excuse my massive run on sentence!)<br />
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So I send an email back, explaining how even with the "lower level thinking" modifications which apparently mean to draw pictures- another skill my boy has a hard time with and would be ZERO help. I re-worded the questions, had him read about them, and then he wrote AND typed his answers out. Modification time: 10 minutes. No "lower level thinking." We also did energy equations, again, about 10 minutes for me to modify- and again without employing "lower level thinking" I will gladly modify all of these ridiculous power standards, without losing important scaffolding, and without insulting my boy's intelligence with "lower level thinking" I charge by the hour though- and since this could presumably work for other students-you best get me on the payroll! Drawing pictures may work well for other students- it does not work for mine!! Back to the idea of differentiated teaching- it works with kids on the spectrum too! Imagine that! I mean seriously- "LOWER LEVEL THINKING" How is there any way I can't take this as an insult to my son? Not expecting him to employ the higher level thinking skills I know he is capable of, even if it takes a little extra time for him to get it is unacceptable, and a HUGE disservice to him.<br />
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Yes- lower level thinking skills are necessary to achieve higher order thinking skills- BUT- it is important to help students utilize their higher order thinking skills, beyond concrete answers, and allow them to really show what they know. Lower level thinking is memorization, which is important- but educating the WHOLE child requires more than just memorization skills. Richer understanding emerges only when a student is allowed to analyze, evaluate and come up with new information. This is not impossible for The Boy- it just needs to be worked with, and a patient teacher is needed.<br />
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<a href="http://intractiv.files.wordpress.com/2011/03/lesson-blooms.jpg?w=659" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="lesson blooms" border="0" height="200" src="http://intractiv.files.wordpress.com/2011/03/lesson-blooms.jpg?w=659" width="188" /></a><a href="http://intractiv.files.wordpress.com/2011/03/lesson-see-hear.jpg?w=282&h=300" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://intractiv.files.wordpress.com/2011/03/lesson-see-hear.jpg?w=282&h=300" width="188" /></a><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Three Bloom's Taxonomy charts, all the same ideas- presented in different ways </td></tr>
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No- I am not telling you how to do your job. I am telling you what will work best with MY son. I want to be partners with you in his education, but when I see the papers come home with the awful handwriting, when he is supposed to be able to use a computer, and then I see the level of work that he is doing, and get emails talking about "lower level thinking" I see RED. Yes, I am an educator as well, but when you talk to me about MY child- you talk to me as a parent. Do not insult him or I.<br />
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I know your feathers are ruffled, and that you are insulted that I had any input about MY son's education, and questioned why you are not modifying in a developmentally and grade appropriate manner. I know it irks you that I gave you an example of my modifications, which only took 10 minutes, and you think I do not understand that you have a multi-grade class, with 7 students that need modifications to their work as well. That's where you're wrong. I DO get it. That is why I gave you a breakdown of what I did- with the hope that you can use that in school with The Boy, and maybe even possibly with other students. Sure, you may have to modify a little more to make it work in class, but as long as the basic framework stays the same- there should be no problem.<br />
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I don't want to be the PITA mom, the one you see coming and groan. But I will and can be. Instead of blowing me off, or being irritated with me, recognize that I do know what I am talking about, and together with your knowledge and teaching experience we should make an amazing team.<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04422351778391296408noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5570620003225333931.post-91862265762039561792013-10-10T17:08:00.000-07:002013-10-10T17:08:35.391-07:00Why I have serious doubts about Common Core (and why you should too)<br />
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There has been a lot of talk, a good portion of it negative, about the new federally implemented Common Core State Standards Initiative (CCSSI). The goal of this is to have every school following the same exact standards. While in theory, this may sound like a great idea, a closer look reveals why the Common Core is not in the best interest of our kids. One of the biggest issues, I believe, is how CCSSI resembles the failed No Child Left Behind program. NCLB required teachers to "teach to the test", meaning students are memorizing rather than learning and critically thinking about information. Common Core is a one-size-fits-all education policy that assumes all students learn the same way. Centrally controlled standards will ultimately hurt students’ creativity and learning. Sound education policy realizes that all students have different learning styles, preferences, and paces- and we should be listening to our teachers, not a bunch of rich, old, white men in a big room deciding the fate of our kids.<br />
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Recently, the Superintendent of our school district wrote an article, singing the praises of CCSSI. Ask any school superintendent about this program, and you will hear much of the same. I am replying to this article with reasons of my own as to why the Common Core is certain to hurt our children's education, not help it. </div>
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<i><b><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 18px;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">1)</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></b><b><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 18px;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Common Core: The goal is not to "cover" content or to "complete the book," but rather, the discovery of rich content.<u></u><u></u></span></span></b></i></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 18px;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><i>The term "curriculum" often used to mean "the book." We used to make sure students were "exposed" to content in "the book" used in that particular class. Standards would vary from classroom to classroom as would specific learning formats used. The goal was to complete the book, with a focus on the <u>delivery of content</u>, not necessarily connected with any <u>real learning</u>. This system of run-through-it-one-time almost guaranteed that some students would learn and others would not. </i><b><i> </i><u></u><u></u></b></span></span></div>
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The word curriculum comes from the Latin word meaning "a course for racing." Think how closely this metaphor fits the way in which educators perceive the curriculum in schools. Teachers often speak about "covering" concepts as one would speak about "covering" ground. And that coverage is often a race against the testing clock. It isn't just "the book." And just what is wrong with varied standards, and varied learning formats? All students learn differently!! Differentiated instruction is key!This is not a bad thing. </div>
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<i style="text-align: center;"> <b>How we are adapting/implementing:</b></i></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 18px;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><i>Curriculum is no longer a static list of check-off items for teachers to "deliver." They are also not kept a secret as in the past. They are a living, breathing, malleable set of high level student performances which are discussed regularly and are posted on classroom walls. We want to ensure to parents that all students are not only exposed to the same standards, but are expected to perform at the standard described. Teachers now work to re-teach students who need it during each unit by measuring student proficiencies with frequent short assessments (called "formative").</i><u></u><u></u></span></span></div>
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"Expected to perform" That right there sets warning bells off in my head. How do posters on classroom walls enhance or help learning? How does taking re-take after re-take further knowledge when the rest of the class is moving on?</div>
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<b>2)Common Core: These standards are all about students obtaining a deep understanding of concepts.</b></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12pt; font-style: italic;">The Common Core does not specify or dictate how the curriculum should be taught, but are instead a set of higher standards which schools should be targeting. </span><a href="https://www.intouchk12.com/IntouchPortal/Home/tabid/137/ctl/WizardDetails/mid/676/notifType/Quick/Default.aspx?containersrc=%2fIntouchPortal%2fPortals%2f_default%2fContainers%2fDNN-Edulink_2.0%2fNo+Header+-+Transparent#_Hlk368322345" style="color: #1155cc; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-style: italic;" target="_blank"><span style="font-size: 12pt; text-decoration: none;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The curriculum now might be described as one which is an "inch wide and a mile deep" instead of the previous "mile wide, inch deep" standard of the past. </span></span></a><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 13px; font-style: italic;"><i><span style="font-size: small;">Rote learning and memorizing facts would prepare students well for the 1950's assembly line world. A rich curriculum involving deep understanding of concepts has a chance to prepare students for the 21</span><span style="font-size: x-small;"><sup>st</sup></span></i><span style="font-size: small;"><i> century.</i></span></span><i style="color: #222222; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12pt;"><b><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt; font-weight: normal;"> </span></b><b style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></span></b></i></div>
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Federal law prohibits the U.S. Department of Education from “exercising any direction, supervision, or control over the curriculum, program of instruction” or selection of “instructional materials.” But wait... the Department got around these prohibitions by making "Race to the Top" funding and No Child Left Behind waivers contingent on a state’s adoption of the Common Core and the aligned assessments. Because curriculum must be aligned with standards and assessments, the Department is able to exercise direction and control over curricula, programs of instruction, instructional materials. It is true that CCSSI were commissioned by the National Governors Association (NGA) and by the Council of Chief State School Offices (CCSSO), but federal government provided all funds for national Common Core tests. States that did not adopt CCSSI were penalized on applications for federal stimulus grants as well. No, CCSSI is NOT mandated (not yet), but it is being dangles like a carrot on a stick and school districts (including ours) are chasing after it. </div>
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<b><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 18px;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><i>How we are adapting/implementing:<u></u><u></u></i></span></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 18px;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><i>Teachers are making significant changes in their classrooms, to having students use information in discussions, expand information using the internet and in formatting information in class presentations. Students are now being asked to construct arguments, analyze, understand and critique others, justify and communicate conclusions, synthesize and interpret, apply answers to the context, and so many more kinds of higher-order thinking and application. Researching websites via computer labs or I-Pads will be more and more prevalent, as will creating and presenting multi-media displays to generate more thought and discussion. Deep understanding is learning for the 21<sup>st</sup> century. </i> <u></u><u></u></span></span></div>
Teachers themselves have to learn how to be "21st Century Educators" and have their own set of standards to learn and get a 3 or 4. As I thought about this, I realized it is truly about control, control of how and even what a teacher teaches. What if future circumstances required a higher rating to keep a teaching job? What about training that is "suggested" regardless the personal philosophies of teachers? Control people- it's all about control. Teachers would have little control over their classrooms under CCSSI They will be forced to comply with standards decided upon by federal bureaucrats. This leaves little to no room for teachers to innovate to meet the unique needs of their students. Think about this, three hundred prominent policymakers and education experts warn the CCSSI will close the door on innovation and without innovation, we are lost.<br />
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<i><b><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 18px;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">3)</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></b><b><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 18px;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Common Core: Frequent student talk is the goal in Common Core classrooms. Teachers are asked to talk less.<u></u><u></u></span></span></b></i></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 18px;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><i>We have known for, not years, but decades, that the lecture has the lowest level of learning of any kind of learning format measured (yes, even colleges are abandoning it.) Student retention of information is minimal when sitting in a "lecture" classroom (some studies suggest just 5% of the information is actually recalled.) Just the idea of "retention of information" implies literal learning. Student motivation is also low in this kind of format. In a Common Core classroom, student communication can be an effective way to obtain a "deep understanding" of concepts.</i><u></u><u></u></span></span></div>
I am all for more student interaction and less didactic teaching methods- a student INVOLVED in their education is more engaged, and willing to learn. This statement SOUNDS great. But what if the communication is wrong? The CCSSI assume that what kids need to know is covered by one or another of the traditional core subjects. The unexplored intellectual terrain between and beyond those familiar fields of study is HUGE, expanding by the day, the HOUR!<br /><br /><br /> <b><i> How we are adapting/implementing:</i></b><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 18px;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><i>"Student-engaged learning" is the goal in the Common Core. The more students are involved with some type of learning activity the more they will learn. These activities can have any number of formats: small groups (research, problem solving, real world simulation, planning a formal presentation, etc.), work in pairs (debate planning, informal presentation, book or article "talk," inquiry/discussion), or many others. The role of the teacher becomes more of a facilitator and less of an "information provider." They use inquiry to build student interest, and students become more investigative in finding answers to complex questions.</i><u></u></span></span></div>
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Really? The standards, which, by the way are intended to prepare students for non-selective community colleges rather than four-year universities, are inferior to those of some states and no better than those of many others. Common Core’s English language arts standards consist of empty skill sets that, once implemented, might not require reading skills any higher than middle-school level. The removing classic literature and relying heavily on of “informational texts” completely gives up the goal of truly educating students. What about the students who need the information from a teacher, and are refused? I am all for kids learning research skills, and being taught and encouraged to find answers as opposed to having them handed to them- but what happens when a student has done all they can, and still needs more than a facilitator? What about the student with autism, ADHD, or LD- that may have executive functioning deficits and needs that extra help?<br />
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<i>4) <b>Comm</b><b style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 18px;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">on Core: Students learn more on their own by being active participants. They build stamina, learn about persistence and how to solve problems.</span></span></b></i></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 18px;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><i>Because the Common Core is much more rigorous than state standards, students will have more difficulty in gaining the proficiencies which are targeted. In the past, information gaining has been the "end" or target in the learning process. Classroom struggles in the past have been minimal for many simply because the standard was much lower. Applying information to complex problems is much more difficult than learning facts The Common Core will provide the challenge many students have needed. <u></u><u></u></i></span></span></div>
The CCSSI is more rigorous-if not more challenging (yes, there is a difference). Younger students will have to learn at a faster pace than ever before. This is going to make early childhood programs become more rigid. Pre-Kindergarten will be more important, and skills students used to learn in second grade will need to be taught in Kindergarten. What is wrong with this you may ask. Nothing, if you don't take developmentally appropriate practice (DAP) into consideration. There are MANY educational theories out there- some are outdated, and new ones are always being tested. However, I am a student of Piaget, and if you take a look at the picture below, you can see how his developmental stages do not coincide with CCSSI at all.<br />
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For example in a group of ten year olds, you can usually find three levels of developmental capabilities based on Piaget’s theory. There will be a few pre-operational, pre-logical, students, many concrete operational youngsters capable of logical operations applied to concrete, direct experience and a few formal operational youngsters who are fully capable of hypothetical deduction and abstract, critical and creative reasoning. How can a standardized, ill defined, one size fits all model appropriately respond to developmental reality? </div>
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<b><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 18px;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><i>How we are adapting/implementing:<u></u><u></u></i></span></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 18px;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><i>Higher-order thinking is being immersed into every grade and subject and is much more demanding. Complex, interactive learning processes are more prevalent and are much more arduous. Students will experience more of a challenge and will be asked and conditioned to have appropriate responses. In this way, the curriculum simulates the real world. Sometimes there are no answers, while other times, all the options are not very good, again, as in the real world. Students will have these experiences earlier in life. They will hopefully learn to build stamina and to not give up. Using these standards, "information" is the means to an end, not an end in itself, and can be used to obtain a higher level of learning. Readiness for college takes many forms. Learning to deal with difficulties and with academic struggles earlier will help students later on.</i><u></u><u></u></span></span></div>
Notice the buzzwords here: "challenge" higher level of learning" "higher order thinking" Don't these all sound intelligent, and things every parent should want for their child? That is not coincidence folks. This "Race to the Top" is putting the emphasis on testing and scores, not on REAL learning. The CCSSI have not been tested -ANYWHERE. The CCSSI remove any instructional flexibility despite the possibility that their curriculum may not be what works best for a particular class. Teachers will not have the freedom to distinguish themselves and find new ways to connect with their students. Having to take re-take after re-take is not teaching students to deal with academic struggles. It is not TEACHING them anything, but how to finally memorize what they missed so they can finally move on. Or, they just give up all together. <div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
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<i><b><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 18px;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">5)</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></b><b><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 18px;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Common Core: Helping students reach higher.<u></u><u></u></span></span></b></i></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 18px;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><i>Students will be asked to perform at a more difficult level in the Common Core classroom. In traditional classrooms, students often were on the sidelines and not really engaged in their own learning. Expectations were low, and so was the amount and level of learning.<u></u><u></u></i></span></span></div>
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Expectations were low? For whom? The Common Core Standards are a set-up for national standardized tests, tests that can’t evaluate complex thought, can’t avoid cultural bias, can’t measure non-verbal learning, and can’t predict anything of consequence. The CCSSI math standards failed to meet the content targets recommended by the National Mathematics Advisory Panel, the standards of leading states, and our international competitors, it's already hurting our kids. CCSSI exclude certain Algebra 2 and Geometry content that is currently a prerequisite at almost every four-year state college. With the CCSSI, if a student says 3x4=11- and can explain the steps they took to get that answer- it is not wrong! WHAAATT? Don't believe me? Watch this video, and then you decide. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DW0VxxoCrNo">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DW0VxxoCrNo</a> The CCSS “college readiness” ELA standards can best be described as skill sets, not fully developed standards. And how does teaching to one big standardized test give teachers an accurate view of what their students are learning? Having to re-test and re-test is still sitting on the sidelines, worse, because now the student is falling behind. </div>
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<span style="background-color: #e69138;">Fun Fact: The CCSSI Assessments will not have an equivalency test for students with special needs. Many states provide students with special needs a modified version of the test. There will be no modified test for the CCSS, meaning that 100% of a school’s population will have their results reported for accountability purposes.</span></div>
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<b style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 18px;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><i><br /></i></span></span></b></div>
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<b style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 18px;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><i> How we are adapting/implementing:</i></span></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 18px;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><i>By identifying the learning target, students are asked to play a role in their own learning, thereby increasing their motivation to learn. They will have more personal awareness, will be better able to self-assess and to set goals. This challenging curriculum requires students to step up and do their part in the process. By becoming partners with the teacher in their own learning, students will hopefully come to school each day with a higher degree of interest, affording them the opportunity to build stamina and persevere in these tough standards.</i><u></u><u></u></span></span></div>
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I am exhausted by all of the feel good language here. Smoke screens and diversionary tactics all designed to distract people from what is going on with CCSSI. There is no best design for curriculum in any subject. A rigid, single set of curriculum guidelines from 6th-12th grades is at the very least questionable, when taking into account students diverse interests, talents, and educational needs. Our schools should not be limited in the diversity of curriculum they can offer to students. Multiple models should be encouraged, not a one size fits all approach that is doomed to fail. (Remember No Child Left Behind?)</div>
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Something that was left out of this "Yay for Common Core" article is the fact that it was developed by two tax-exempt private member organizations: the Council of Chief State School Offices (CCSSO) and the National Governor’s Association (NGA). What this means is that local school districts, school teachers, parents and students are being handed a one-size-fits-all package of educational content and standards established by unknown, un-elected, unaccountable private interests, AND backed by the federal government, holding themselves up as experts. </div>
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CCSSI relies upon intrusive "state longitudinal data systems"(otherwise known as data-mining), tracking of student performance. Meanwhile, 2012 federal Education Department rules gutted the Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act (FERPA), permitting CCSSI not only to track personal student information over more than 400 data points, but to share that information with other government agencies and private entities, and without parental consent. (otherwise known as data-mining). Taxpayers will fund private organizations through grants and stimulus money to develop these database systems, such as <a href="http://ccsso.org/What_We_Do/Education_Data_and_Information_Systems.html">CCSSO’s Education Data & Information Systems</a>. Did you know that? And YOU have no say as a parent- at least in the nine states across the country that have already agreed to adopt this data mining process. Schools in New York, Delaware, Colorado, Massachusetts, Kentucky, Illinois, Louisiana, Georgia, and North Carolina have committed to “pilot testing” and "information dissemination" by sending students’ personal information to a database managed by inBloom, Inc., a private organization funded largely by the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation. again- don't believe me? Think it's a big government conspiracy theory? Well, check this report out from the DOE, and again, make your own conclusions. </div>
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<a href="http://www.ed.gov/edblogs/technology/files/2013/02/OET-Draft-Grit-Report-2-17-13.pdf">http://www.ed.gov/edblogs/technology/files/2013/02/OET-Draft-Grit-Report-2-17-13.pdf</a></div>
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A standardized common core of content for school curriculum ignores developmental differences in individual learners. All children learn differently, and biology won't be standardized. Imagination and desire to actually learn is being squashed by these Power Standards. Ask questions. Demand answers, Fight for your child's education. Common Core is not the answer. </div>
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References:</div>
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<a href="http://www.brookings.edu/research/reports/2012/04/10-curriculum-chingos-whitehurst">http://www.brookings.edu/research/reports/2012/04/10-curriculum-chingos-whitehurst</a></div>
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<a href="http://www.brookings.edu/research/papers/2012/10/02-boost-literacy-haskins-sawhill">http://www.brookings.edu/research/papers/2012/10/02-boost-literacy-haskins-sawhill</a></div>
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<a href="http://blogs.edweek.org/edweek/state_edwatch/2012/07/ecs_national_forum_day_2_expect_outrage_on_common_core.html?intc=es">http://blogs.edweek.org/edweek/state_edwatch/2012/07/ecs_national_forum_day_2_expect_outrage_on_common_core.html?intc=es</a></div>
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<a href="http://www.washingtonpolicy.org/publications/notes/why-common-core-bad-america">http://www.washingtonpolicy.org/publications/notes/why-common-core-bad-america</a></div>
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<a href="http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/answer-sheet/post/eight-problems-with-common-core-standards/2012/08/21/821b300a-e4e7-11e1-8f62-58260e3940a0_blog.html">http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/answer-sheet/post/eight-problems-with-common-core-standards/2012/08/21/821b300a-e4e7-11e1-8f62-58260e3940a0_blog.html</a></div>
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<a href="http://grumpyelder.com/2013/05/common-core-from-a-high-school-geometry-teachers-prospective/">http://grumpyelder.com/2013/05/common-core-from-a-high-school-geometry-teachers-prospective/</a></div>
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<a href="http://www.thenewamerican.com/culture/education/item/15213-data-mining-students-through-common-core">http://www.thenewamerican.com/culture/education/item/15213-data-mining-students-through-common-core</a></div>
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<a href="http://townhall.com/columnists/rachelalexander/2013/03/18/common-core-whats-hidden-behind-the-language-n1537017/page/full">http://townhall.com/columnists/rachelalexander/2013/03/18/common-core-whats-hidden-behind-the-language-n1537017/page/full</a><br /><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
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<a href="http://languagemagazine.com/?page_id=1510">http://languagemagazine.com/?page_id=1510</a><br /> <div style="background-color: white; text-align: left;">
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04422351778391296408noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5570620003225333931.post-52788728610524660592013-10-03T12:08:00.000-07:002013-10-03T12:08:33.575-07:00This is how Inclusion should be!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;">Today I read an amazing story that brought happy tears to my eyes. Thank you to <a href="https://www.facebook.com/singlemotherswhohavechildrenwithautism">Single Mothers Who Have Children with Autism</a> for sharing Tammy's amazing, wonderful, beautiful news! </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;"> </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;" /><i style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;">I'd like to share a very positive story about My Tommy. Tommy was diagnosed with Autism at age 4. From K-2 he was in special Ed class rooms. By third grade, because he was so intelligent, he was taking math, English, reading and history with the regular ed class room. It was decided that for 4th grade My Tommy would be in the regular class room full time, (with his one on one aide of</i><i style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;"> course).</i><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;" /><i style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;">During the summer I met several times with the man who would be his teacher, his aide and the school counselor. And we were VERY prepared for 4th grade!!</i><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;" /><i style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;">During the first week of school, while My Tommy was at OT the school counselor came into the classroom and talked to the kids about Autism. And more specifically, Tommy's Autism. Why he "flaps", why he only wears sweats, why he keeps fidgets on his desk, his speech therapy, PT and OT. Tommy's teacher made a very spur of the moment decision, that has, since that moment, affected hundreds of children, both special needs and NT.... He instituted "Tommy's Buddy of the Day". Each child in the class would take a turn spending a day with Tommy, in his world. Sit next to him, have lunch with him, go to speech, OT and PT, play with the fidgets... So that his classmates would get to know him better. </i><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;" /><i style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;">This was supposed to last 18 days, but after each child had a turn they begged to just keep going. So for the entire school year of 4th grade, My Tommy had a buddy every single day. In 5th grade the counselor again came into the classroom and talked to his classmates. There were 3-4 students who had been with Tommy in 4th grade class and they all begged the new teacher to do "Buddy of the Day". She asked that each student try it once, after that they could choose to have their name withdrawn. Not a single classmate withdrew all year. These students became Tommy's play ground champions, his lunch table was always full, children come up to us while we're running errands and talk to Tommy and aren't even phased if he's in a "mood" and won't talk back. He went to 38 birthday parties in those two years!!! </i><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;" /><i style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;">When Tommy started Jr High there were absolutely NO Bully problems. Every child who'd ever served as his Buddy was now his friend. If anyone else dared to tease him he had 38 kids ready to be on his side. Buddy of the Day wasn't planned. And it was so successful that the counselor expanded the Buddy program. Now, four years after My Tommy started the 4th Grade, that elementary school (grades 3-4-5) does Buddy of the Day. Every Special Needs Child, even those in the special Ed room have a Buddy every single day. That gives every NT child a few chances every year to "walk in someone else's shoes". Bullying is unheard of in our district thanks to Buddy of the Day. Transitions to Jr High are easier and more successful than they have ever been. My Tommy changed The World. (Or at least our corner of it.)<br /></i><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;">How about THAT for inclusion folks? It didn't cost a dime, just a teacher who wanted to see all kids included and successful. Listen up school districts! (Elementary schools in particular- mine especially!) Getting this started at an elementary level isn't something that takes a lot of time and ZERO money to implement. I can just imagine how much easier life would be now in school for The Boy if something like this had been integrated- instead of isolating the kids in a special education classroom. </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;" /><i style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;"><br /></i><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;">Inclusion works for EVERYBODY involved. Teachers, special ed AND typical students alike can get so much from good, solid, inclusion practices. This story highlights that. It just takes one teacher. One principal. One person to make a huge difference. Are you up to the challenge? </span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04422351778391296408noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5570620003225333931.post-43918017565329879332013-09-27T15:56:00.001-07:002013-09-27T15:56:36.439-07:00On my soapbox againRecently, I was having a "conversation" on good old Facebook about vaccines and herd immunity. When I explained that herd immunity is a myth, and is parroted by the CDC, doctors and the media to promote vaccine programs, I was told "I would LOVE to see the peer reviewed studies you have proving any of this." And of course, as always, when I provided links to a couple of things I was immediately told how these articles were bogus because they came from anti vaccination sites, and "quacks."<br />
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So what makes their articles, books, etc. so much better than mine? Even when many of my citations came from the NIH? And just because a site may be anti vaccination, or possibly just questions the efficacy of vaccines, how does that automatically make the scientists, doctors and researchers quacks? This double standard really irks the hell out of me. I have made the choice to question vaccines, and the efficacy of them in general, based on personal experience, anecdotal evidence and hours and hours of scouring the internet for answers. This goes far beyond autism folks. <br />
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Recently, the Huffington Post had an article, <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jj-keith/vaccines_b_3829948.html">I'm Coming Out... as Pro-Vaccine</a> and I began reading it as I do almost any other article regarding vaccinations, regardless of opinion. But the more I read, the more livid I became. "<strong style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: Georgia, Century, Times, serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">Vaccines are different from every other parenting issue in that the choices that parents make affect everyone else as well. Vaccines are everyone's business." </strong><span style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: Georgia, Century, Times, serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">Really? Pardon me why I call you on your bullshit. There was a time, many, many years ago that yes, vaccines were everyone's business. That was back when our children only received 8 shots at a well child visit- not between 18-23. There was a time when it truly was a safe choice to vaccinate our kids. </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: Georgia, Century, Times, serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">Now? The amount of chemicals that we allow our smiling doctors to inject into our children's precious systems is staggering. The effects of combined vaccines have never been studied in depth, nor have any comprehensive studies been conducted comparing vaccinated vs. unvaccinated. And there have been ZERO tests developed to see whether an infant may have an underlying issue that would cause issues when these chemicals cross the blood brain barrier. </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: Georgia, Century, Times, serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">The dramatic rise in autism, asthma, allergies, ADHD and other neurological disorders should be a concern for EVERYONE. As I have said about a bajillion times, the reasons for these upswings can most definitely be attributed to more than one cause. I have never said that I feel like vaccines are the one and only culprit. But if people stopped for ONE minute- maybe, just maybe, they would at least be able to entertain the thought that a common link that many of these children have are...vaccines. </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: Georgia, Century, Times, serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">Did you know that in</span> the recent Whooping Cough outbreak in Texas this year, approximately 80% of the people who got it were vaccinated? And the so called "Anti Vax Cult Church" measles outbreak- the majority of those affected were adults? <br />
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So call me crazy, call me and my children "dangers to public health" but as you are pointing that finger, looking down your nose, and telling me that the your science is better than mine, remember, I used to be YOU. I used to take my doctor, the government, etc. all at face value, and believed every single thing that I was told. I do not tell anyone NOT to vaccinate. If I am ASKED and ONLY if I am asked, I encourage people to space out their vaccines. Something Dr. Bob Sears and even Temple Grandin advocate. And also remember, you can't honestly accuse my child of making your child sick when A) My child IS NOT EVEN SICK and B) your so-called "herd immunity" should be protection enough.<br />
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Here is a list of links that includes peer reviewed studies. I am sure they will all be dismissed as "quacks" and that's your choice. All I am doing is providing some information. I can't make you look at BOTH sides of the argument, and form an intelligent, well thought out opinion, whichever camp you may fall in.<br />
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This is a VERY short list. It is by no means comprehensive, nor does it answer all of the questions. But there ARE peer reviewed studies. It takes A LOT of searching and digging to find them- but they are out there. And again- there will be those who will argue with me that their science is better, and what I have listed here is crap- and that's fine. I will read anything sent my way. I may find out new things. My mind won't be changed- or maybe it will. See- as passionate as I am about this, and as mush as I truly believe that vaccines can cause a major role in autism, autoimmune deficiencies, and aren't nearly as effective as we are all being led to believe- I really TRY to be open-minded. Let's see if you readers can do the same.<br />
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<br /><br />1)<a href="http://m.jid.oxfordjournals.org/content/204/suppl_1/S559.full">http://m.jid.oxfordjournals.org/content/204/suppl_1/S559.full</a> - Two fully vaccinated doctors become infected with measles and don't know it. They continue to see patients.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />2)<a href="http://www.vaccinationcouncil.org/2012/07/05/herd-immunity-the-flawed-science-and-failures-of-mass-vaccination-suzanne-humphries-md-3/">http://www.vaccinationcouncil.org/2012/07/05/herd-immunity-the-flawed-science-and-failures-of-mass-vaccination-suzanne-humphries-md-3/</a> - “Herd Immunity.” The flawed science and failures of mass vaccination, Suzanne Humphries, MD <br /><br /><br /><br /><br />3) <a href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/21993250">http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/21993250</a> Hypothesis: conjugate vaccines may predispose children to autism spectrum disorders.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />4) <a href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/9756729">http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/9756729</a> Serological association of measles virus and human herpesvirus-6 with brain autoantibodies in autism.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />5)<a href="http://progress.umb.edu.pl/sites/progress.umb.edu.pl/files/129-141.pdf">http://progress.umb.edu.pl/sites/progress.umb.edu.pl/files/129-141.pdf</a> Neurologic Adverse Events Following Vaccination (Progress in Health Sciences Vol. 2(1) 2012•pp 129-141.)<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />6) <a href="http://informahealthcare.com/doi/abs/10.3109/08830181003746304">http://informahealthcare.com/doi/abs/10.3109/08830181003746304</a> Autoimmune reactions to vaccinations may rarely be induced in predisposed individuals by molecular mimicry or bystander activation mechanisms.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />7)<a href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/22423127">http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/22423127</a> “Our unvaccinated and under-vaccinated population did not appear to contribute significantly to the increased rate of clinical pertussis. Surprisingly, the highest incidence of disease was among previously vaccinated children in the eight to twelve year age group.”<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />8)<a href="http://cid.oxfordjournals.org/content/early/2012/03/13/cid.cis287.short">http://cid.oxfordjournals.org/content/early/2012/03/13/cid.cis287.short</a>-“Our data suggests that the current schedule of acellular pertussis vaccine doses is insufficient to prevent outbreaks of pertussis.”<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />9) <a href="http://het.sagepub.com/content/early/2011/05/04/0960327111407644.full.pdf">http://het.sagepub.com/content/early/2011/05/04/0960327111407644.full.pdf</a> “The US childhood immunization schedule requires 26 vaccine doses for infants aged less than 1 year, THE MOST IN THE WORLD, yet 33 nations have better Infant Mortality Rates (IMR). Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04422351778391296408noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5570620003225333931.post-80723072435882564902013-08-07T11:37:00.001-07:002013-08-07T12:57:53.347-07:00 Autism and Middle School- OH MY! <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Starting the new school year can be tough on any kiddo. Transitioning to middle school is probably one of the biggest anxiety inducing transitions! Now- let's throw autism into the mix, and the challenges become more intense. Kids with autism usually have struggles with things changing, and a new school year is chock full of changes. New schedules and routines to get used to. New teachers, finding classrooms, finding lockers, having gym EVERY SINGLE DAY (is that just me?) , new educational and behavioral expectations, new rules for 7 DIFFERENT CLASSES!! Anxiety and stress are at maximum levels, meltdown</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: small;"> probability at 99-100%. PLEASEDONTLETITHAPPENATSCHOOL! ( I am already freaking out.)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">On
top of everything else- the change of seasons affects our kiddos, especially
those who are very sensitive to certain types of clothing. School shopping has
to be an exact science- but we all know it never is. Middle school also
means much less outdoor energy release, and much more indoor, have to sit,
listen, and cope. Gym (as much as I dread it) will be The Boy's only
physical release opportunity- which sounds great- but gym is his least favorite
class. I am not counting on it to be a good way for him to get the much
needed movement and exercise he needs to regroup. (Freaking out more now)</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;"></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Although
I try to keep bedtimes consistent throughout summer- it is a losing
battle. Not only will I have to get him adjusted to regular bedtimes
again- he will have to get up earlier, eat, take his meds, get dressed and get
ready- probably with ZERO TV time.... (I am seriously starting to
hyperventilate).</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Once
they are at school, the sounds, sights, smells are all new stimuli that
is very likely to put sensitive sensory systems into hyperdrive. (I need a drink).</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">What
about the teachers that don't know how to work with an autistic kid? We
have had meetings, made sure a "Meet The Boy" letter was circulated,
not to mention the numerous calls, and emails over the summer with concerns.
But how is that all going to work out the first day, week, month? (Somebody
get me a glass of wine)</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Yes,
there are some positives, The Boy doesn't care about a new backpack, isn't too
concerned with clothes, and will more than likely do well once he learns his
schedule and that daily routine is established. (Feeling a little calmer-maybe)</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I
wish I could say that the elementary school has well prepared him for the
changes that are coming. Working with him over the summer- I hope to have
got him somewhat caught up- since he was never challenged in elementary school.
Educational anxiety is the last thing he needs.... (PITA mom gearing up)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">So here are
are some things I have thought of- this is by no means everything, so please comment with your tips and
hints! We have to stick together! </span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">Good
Luck to us all!!!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Prepare yourself!!!</b> A calm mom and dad are better able to help a child create a smooth back to school transition. </span></div>
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<b style="font-weight: bold;">Find or create social stories </b>to help your child with any concerns about getting ready for and going to school. (Yes- even for Tweens and Teens!)</div>
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<b style="font-weight: bold;">Re-set their internal clock!</b> Early to bed, early to rise. (This will probably not earn you any points if you have a late sleeper- but we all know how erratic our ASD kiddos sleep patterns can be!)</div>
<br /><b>Get a list of school supplies and put together a backpack WITH your child!</b> They may have old favorites from the previous year- incorporate those if possible. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b style="font-weight: bold;">Let your child pick out their outfit (with guidance if necessary), and lay it out the night before.</b> By both of you working together to pick an outfit the night before, anxieties about “what will I wear” are reduced. Additionally, having the outfit picked out the night before speeds up getting out the door the next day. (Tweens and Teens on the spectrum want to be cool and fit in, let them help with the clothes shopping!)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Put yourself out there!</b> Make it clear to teachers and administration that you are available to answer questions and provide support for your kiddo. Make sure they have your phone number and email address and encourage them to use it!! Be polite, but be firm, this is your kiddos education and you take it seriously, and you expect no less from the school.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Have confidence in your child’s abilities</b>. They are smart,capable, and ready to learn, if given the right environment and right tools. Help make sure they have these tools and they will be the best they can be! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>WINE. LOTS OF WINE.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: arial; font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: yellow; line-height: 25px;"><b>HERE ARE SOME TIPS FROM READERS AT <a href="https://www.facebook.com/WineauxMomof3">Red Vines and Red Wine on Facebook</a></b></span></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: large;"><br />Jennifer R: Make appointments with teachers/principal and get them into the school as many times as possible for an easy transition.</span></b><br />
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<b><span style="background-color: white; color: blue; font-size: large;">Lauren W: Don't wait till the first day to introduce new school shoes!!!! It takes mine about 2 weeks to like new shoes!!! Lol</span></b><br />
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<b><span style="color: red; font-size: large;">Jess M: start talking about the coming changes and getting the routine started it will make it sooo much smoother to transition</span></b><br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04422351778391296408noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5570620003225333931.post-6282116099438402182013-07-30T14:10:00.000-07:002013-07-30T14:10:21.613-07:00Going to the pool with AutismI am that mom at the pool, the one who rarely takes her eyes off her kid, even though he is 11 and can swim. The one who seems extra nervous and calls her son over frequently, trying not to draw too much attention. What you don't hear is me reminding him to respect personal space, not to be too rough, not to grab or splash if he's been asked not to do so, or to just chill out. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhovM_OyQHk9w22av1h_lLSd4ZQNTMP9rdA7PWnPGBEcwXdS84RcZGGAd0aS5I7HmOdQ_Gx2w9UFrlHVfkV16jt4pVxpVW9uGpZF1BKjlDs63l4dgb_4D5vZ8H4WyWvFGTkC_h8BJzPtJow/s1600/946886_10201471483292526_733541482_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="286" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhovM_OyQHk9w22av1h_lLSd4ZQNTMP9rdA7PWnPGBEcwXdS84RcZGGAd0aS5I7HmOdQ_Gx2w9UFrlHVfkV16jt4pVxpVW9uGpZF1BKjlDs63l4dgb_4D5vZ8H4WyWvFGTkC_h8BJzPtJow/s320/946886_10201471483292526_733541482_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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I am the mom who worries about what the other kids are saying to him, and his reaction- moving around pool side depending on where he is at, making me look like the "helicopter mom" that can't leave her kid alone. What you may not understand is that my son's "quirks" and misunderstanding of social cues can make him a target for ridicule. Even good- natured teasing will confuse him, causing him to get upset and could cause a meltdown. <br />
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I am the mom that is on high alert, because my son gravitates towards kids much younger than he is. An older child attempting to play with these younger kids draws the attention, and possible incorrect assumptions about his motives. So I am always having to keep an eye out, reminding him frequently to not be too rough, and isn't there some kids closer to his age he would like to play with? I understand why he prefers the younger kids sometimes, and will gladly tell you to ease any concerns you might have. <br />
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I am the mom keeping an eye on not only my son, but the other kids, whose teenage babysitters are listening to their iPods, texting, or just enjoying the sun, with a cursory glance at their young charges from time to time. What you don't know is what sometimes seems like playing or harmless rough-housing is actually an issue that needs to be addressed, and a good majority of the time, it is not my son instigating it, but not moving away from it either. <br />
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I am the mom who feels bad telling her 11 year old son that I would love to play with him in the pool, but doesn't he want to hang out with the other kids? He already deals with so much, I don't want to add to any teasing because he is hanging out with me. The kids are old enough now, that I can't play with all of them like I used to. What you don't know is while my son is 11 years old, he has a developmental delay that makes him more like 9 years old, and playing with me is fun and safe. I still do play with him, of course and hope he won't be made fun of later.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBOJAGKCxvmugn1QWR_9afTw8xfoPXXGnbRfOjagO2a0D96DuPWYnmJPbzr-NRm9cYOtL32JU7Olpyx6E0XA6UCwEgyvlw18orKN20aVWG4p86BlT00wuH1983v-jxVEKFPkxK_VbG2IbZ/s1600/30550_10201014073177559_1328078046_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="123" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBOJAGKCxvmugn1QWR_9afTw8xfoPXXGnbRfOjagO2a0D96DuPWYnmJPbzr-NRm9cYOtL32JU7Olpyx6E0XA6UCwEgyvlw18orKN20aVWG4p86BlT00wuH1983v-jxVEKFPkxK_VbG2IbZ/s200/30550_10201014073177559_1328078046_n.jpg" width="200" /></a>I am the mom who won't hesitate to chastise an adult, whose child my son knows makes mean remarks to him, and to their mom, who not only laughs, but perpetuates the teasing. I do not tolerate adults who know better acting like this. Your child's behavior and the way they treat my son, and others who have differences is a direct result of your immaturity and lack of compassion. It's people like you that make my job of raising and spreading awareness that much harder.<br />
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I am the mom who is beyond thrilled when other kids are including my son in their games, making him a part of the group and just being 11 year old boys playing "Sharks and Minnows" at the pool. What you don't know is I am probably holding back tears, and quietly celebrating what you take for granted.<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04422351778391296408noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5570620003225333931.post-51790185867742917502013-07-23T13:05:00.000-07:002013-07-28T17:36:30.435-07:00Best.Birthday Ever!!A few weeks ago, I had made mention on my Facebook page <a href="https://www.facebook.com/WineauxMomof3?ref=hl">Red Vines & Red Wine</a> that The Boy was upset about not having more friends to invite to his birthday party. He asked me "I'm a nice guy, aren't I?" Shattered my heart into a billion pieces. How do you tell an almost 11 year old with autism, that of course he's a nice guy, and it's the quality of the friends, not the quantity? Of course, I did tell him these things, and he seemed content with the answers, but I was still upset about it.<br />
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In the comments of this post, someone suggested that I do a "Card Party" for him. What a FANTASTIC idea! So, with some nervousness, I opened up our lives to the folks who like my blog, page, and have followed our lives.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">So many awesome cards!</td></tr>
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We were not disappointed! The birthday cards started coming in about a week or so after I posted the request. The Boy didn't seem to really understand why he was getting mail from strangers, and I had to patiently explain to him (several times!) that all of these people read my blog, and know about you through that and my page. And that some of them have kids with autism like you, and some just want to wish you a happy birthday. Once he understood he got quite excited! He loves to get mail anyway, so the daily trip to the mailbox became an adventure!<br />
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He got musical cards, homemade cards, cards with stickers, cards with cash, cards with dinosaurs, cards with superheroes, post cards, cards made from duct tape - so many cool cards! He got a cool swag bag from Canada, filled with all kinds of Canadian fun, including a lot of little notes with Canada fun facts, he got a box of sweet treats from England, and a post card from Germany!<br />
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All told, he received 35 cards, gifts and well wishes from all over the U.S. and beyond. We kept track of the states he got things from on a map I printed out for him. It was not only fun, it was a great learning experience as well.<br />
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<b><u style="background-color: yellow;">The Boy got cards from:</u></b></div>
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<b>Idaho</b></div>
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<b>Pittsburgh</b></div>
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<b>South Carolina</b></div>
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<b>North Carolina</b></div>
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<b>California</b></div>
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<b>Texas</b></div>
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<b>Michigan </b></div>
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<b>Ohio</b></div>
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<b>Iowa</b></div>
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<b>Kentucky</b></div>
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<b>Nevada</b></div>
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<b>Virginia</b></div>
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<b>West Virginia</b></div>
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<b>Montana</b></div>
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<b>Arkansas</b></div>
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<b>Louisiana</b></div>
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<b>Maryland</b></div>
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<b>Indiana</b></div>
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<b>Kansas</b></div>
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<b>Washington</b></div>
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<b>Canada</b></div>
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<b>England </b></div>
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<b>Germany</b></div>
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<b><span style="color: red; font-size: x-large;">WOW!!!!!</span></b></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipb5-jd4tEi2u51o0Yj3U-Fz8OaD2cc6gW1pzHpSVvfUPsUOrrawzmq_8CHlzB0A60rnUUN0mfVpTwYiZIgbXYPXqInm2CefW6QikGiEb6GhniuGaQoAIwoBaxd-GUJXPf-HtNysSS-QrP/s1600/1004086_10201560223590978_1710681846_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="74" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipb5-jd4tEi2u51o0Yj3U-Fz8OaD2cc6gW1pzHpSVvfUPsUOrrawzmq_8CHlzB0A60rnUUN0mfVpTwYiZIgbXYPXqInm2CefW6QikGiEb6GhniuGaQoAIwoBaxd-GUJXPf-HtNysSS-QrP/s320/1004086_10201560223590978_1710681846_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The cards overflowed into two rooms!</td></tr>
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How awesome is that?? He also got two pen pal requests, and we can't wait to respond! I was so completely overwhelmed with the kindness and generosity of so many people who, until now have only known my son as "The Boy." With so much ugly in the world, this truly gave my hope in humanity a much needed boost. I cannot thank everyone enough for participating and making The Boy's 11th birthday truly something special. You are all amazing and wonderful, and I am thankful to have such positive people in our lives!<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04422351778391296408noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5570620003225333931.post-52365260945608522582013-07-07T16:24:00.001-07:002013-07-07T16:24:08.577-07:00Family Adventures and how Autism ruins themYou know, most of the time I try and be positive, even upbeat about living the autism life. But sometimes even my incessant cheeriness is dulled by how our lives are dictated by crap that autism throws at us. And those days are the days I say AUTISM SUCKS and I don't care who doesn't like it.<br />
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I did not say "The Boy sucks" and I never ever would. But this weekend the fact that autism and the anxiety it creates abruptly cut an impromptu family adventure very short frustrates me.<br />
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The Mister surprised us on Saturday and said- get to the car- we are going on an adventure! This is unusual for him to begin with, so we all did as he said. Everyone piled in the car laughing, excited to get out of the house.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Look how happy we all are!</td></tr>
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An hour car ride filled with singing, laughter and playing the alphabet game, everything was fine and dandy. We decided to stop at Cabela's- just for the hell of it. Things continued on, light, fun, and silly with The Boy amazed at all the displays- and then all of a sudden I saw the signs- the anxious look in The Boy's eyes, the jerky body movements, the heavy breathing- here comes the meltdown. Time to go, and go get something to eat I tell The Mister. Teenzilla rolled her eyes and mumbled something under her breath which I chose to ignore.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Blown away at Cabela's</td></tr>
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We got back to the car and talked about what else we were going to do. The Boy asked if we were going to go home now. I said- well- we were kind of planning on some more adventuring after getting some lunch. The panic really set in at that point and he cried- "I JUST WANT TO GO HOME!" Ok, ok- let's get some food.<br />
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Over lunch we talked about taking a trip to Ikea, or just aimlessly driving somewhere and stopping when we saw something cool. As I watched The Boy barely touch his chicken nuggets, I knew our adventure was done for the day.<br />
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Teenzilla was pissed. Pissed at her brother, pissed at me, and refusing to be consoled. That finally made me snap at her, and tell her I have to miss out on things all the time, she just needs to get over it. Of course, I immediately regretted this- as tears welled up in her eyes, and she yelled back "I AM ALWAYS DISAPPOINTED! HE always ruins everything!" *sigh* Yet another family outing derailed by Autism. Teenzilla taking a back seat again to her brothers sensory needs and anxiety issues. I know it sucks. I hate it too.<br />
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As soon as we got home, I told her we were getting pizza and she should ask her BFF to come over to hang out. She shrugged and went to her room. The Boy visibly relaxed as soon as we pulled in the driveway. The panicked look in his eyes, the tension in his whole body, it all went away. I knew we made the right decision- even if it was at the expense of the rest of the family having fun. I was frustrated and a little irritated too. Well- a lot irritated. I have to keep telling myself "It's NOT his fault, it's NOT his fault." This wasn't a case of a child being a brat- this was sensory issues and autistic behaviors in overdrive. And despite his (and our) efforts, today just wasn't a day he could overcome them<br />
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Siblings get screwed sometimes when dealing with an autistic brother or sister. Either they feel an overwhelming sense of responsibility, or they feel resentful, jealous and anger. I follow all the advice. I make time just for her. We do lunch and shopping dates, I let her friends all hang out here, we do movie nights- anything to make it all about HER, since so much of our world does revolve around The Boy. From what we watch on TV, what we eat for dinner, and where we get to go- it can be difficult to balance. And The Boy is high functioning, I can't imagine how much more tricky it becomes when you have a child that has moderate to severe autism that requires 150% of your time and attention, PLUS any other children that need that attention too. I feel bad even complaining. But sometimes you just have to let it out, right? Tomorrow is another day. Just keep swimming.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My loves ♥</td></tr>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04422351778391296408noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5570620003225333931.post-58615330085501815302013-06-23T13:30:00.000-07:002013-06-23T10:47:09.905-07:00Full Moon Madness and Autism- what IS the connection?<div>
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<span style="text-align: left;">Every month I start seeing the signs. Dramatically (and I do mean </span><b style="text-align: left;"><u>DRAMATICALLY)</u></b><span style="text-align: left;"> increased energy level. Dramatically increased irritability. Easy to anger. Easy to cry. Disjointed thoughts and speech patterns. Increased OCD behavior. Increased verbal stimming. Sleeping issues. No need to look at my moon phase app, I know it's that damn full moon again- messing The Boy (and me) all up. To top it off- it's the so called "Super Moon" so there's that. I really wonder if the tug of the Earth is felt on a deeper level for him, causing everything to be out of whack.</span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Deluxe Moon </td></tr>
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And this is not unique to my son. All over Facebook and Twitter, spectrum parents are saying virtually the same thing. Our kiddos are "off". And this isn't just from parents, teachers say the same thing. So what is it? Are we all suffering from some group hallucination? I mean, the word "lunatic" comes from the Latin ‘luna’ meaning moon and can mean someone who goes mad with the changes of the moon. so is it our kids, or is it us? Maybe our kids actually suffer from lycanthropy and this is the explanation for the Autism dial being turned up to about a bajillion. <i style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white;"> <span style="font-size: x-small;">(Imagine that- an autistic werewolf...)</span></span></i><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Howl at the moon!</td></tr>
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According to an article in Scientific American there is a theory that that the full moon’s supposed effects on behavior arise from its influence on water. The human body, after all, is about 80 percent water, so perhaps the moon works its mischievous magic by somehow disrupting the alignment of water molecules in the nervous system. But the article also goes on to say that <i>"the gravitational effects of the moon are far too minuscule to generate any meaningful effects on brain activity, let alone behavior." </i> So what gives? This seems to be in direct opposition to the many, MANY folks who say their ASD kiddos act "loony" during a full moon. I have read so many theories, some plausible, some ridiculous, but even though "Full Moon Madness" has been supposedly debunked- it is apparent that those doing the "de-bunking" weren't raising or caring for someone on the spectrum. Or heard the mountain of anecdotal evidence from law enforcement, labor and delivery nurses, or doctors working in psychiatric facilities.<br />
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I am so very tired, the moon is even screwing my sleep patterns up- about 6 hours of sleep over the last 2 nights makes for a VERY crabby mom. The Mister thinks I am crazy - and when I ask if he remembers the major meltdowns that just happened to coincide with the last full moon, he just gives me this blank look. I am around The Boy more often, so it's no wonder I see these behaviors I guess. I am either more in tune with his ups and downs, or I myself am also feeling the effects of the full moon. </div>
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Right now, I am thinking it's after noon on a Sunday- that's not too early for a glass of wine, right? I am also sending Teenzilla and The Mister to the movies. I would love to take The Boy, but between his behaviors and my exhaustion, we really shouldn't be unleashed on an unsuspecting public. I will just curse that damn moon. <br />
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Quella luna pazza- that crazy moon.... </div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Photo courtesy of autismliveshere.com<br />
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Deluxe Moon App: <span style="font-size: 13.333333969116211px; text-align: center;"> </span><a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/deluxe-moon-pro-moon-phases/id482361332?mt=8" style="font-size: 13.333333969116211px; text-align: center;">https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/deluxe-moon-pro-moon-phases/id482361332?mt=8</a></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04422351778391296408noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5570620003225333931.post-50832746719722465852013-05-18T11:52:00.000-07:002013-05-20T05:03:45.971-07:00Tragedy demands answers- start asking the RIGHT questions<i><span style="color: #cc0000;">Two more tragedies for the autism community occurred over the last week as well. This is almost too much for my heart to bear. I have included links to Drew and Owen at the end of this blog. Please send healing thoughts to their families as well.</span></i><br />
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Unspeakable tragedies occur more often than anyone wants to think about. When terrible things happen, whether on a national or global scale, such as 9/11, Newtown, Boston Marathon Bombing, or on a smaller scale, such as the case of Mikaela Lynch, an autistic child who wandered off and drowned, people want, no, they DEMAND an answer. WHY did this happen? HOW could this have happened? And most of all, WHO is to blame?<br />
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<a href="http://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/p480x480/428494_10151445158812098_2118812366_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/p480x480/428494_10151445158812098_2118812366_n.jpg" width="150" /></a>Mikaela Lynch disappeared from her family’s vacation home in Clearlake, California on Mother's Day of this year. Mikaela had non-verbal autism, and like so many children with autism, she was attracted to water. From the minute I saw the first story released, (you can read it <a href="http://abcnews.go.com/US/missing-autistic-girl-speak-considered-risk/story?id=19177950#.UZe6lrW1GSo">here</a>,) my heart went out to the family. I know what it's like to have a wanderer, The Boy wandered off twice when he was young- once even being brought home by the local police, prompting us to put alarms on the windows and special locks on the doors. The Boy was somewhat verbal at this time, he could tell people what his name was, and, at 4 years old had a developmental delay of about 2 years. It was when this happened that I went out and researched autism and elopement, because it was all new to us. I was shocked to find out that nearly half of all children with autism wander. I was equally shocked to find out that he number one cause of death of individuals with autism involve wandering incidents leading to drowning. Both occur frequently and a quick glance at the latest autism news headlines will reinforce these unfortunate statistics. What is also very sad and scary- only about 50% of parents and caregivers are aware that elopement is a common issue with autism. If you don't know, how can you be preventative? Educating PARENTS about the very real issue of wandering and autism is imperative. </div>
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Headlines focused on the fact that she "wandered away, naked", I don't think I saw one major headline that didn't focus on this part of the story. MISSING AND NAKED screamed at people seeing the story. Most people's first question was "Why was she naked?" This headline also lead to immediate assumptions that there was something wrong with the parents. It's human nature. When something terrible happens, especially to a child, we as parents may question our own parenting, or mentally pat ourselves on the back for doing a "better job". One article in The Examiner said <i>"The parents have been under scrutiny for their failure to supervise the child, leading directly to her disappearance, which has caused animosity between some people. The fact of the matter is that no matter what the circumstances, parents should never leave their young children unattended when they are at risk of being harmed." </i> This made me beyond angry, and even more so, when the article went on to say<i> "This should be a warning to all parents". </i>Typical of an publication like The Examiner, but infuriating nonetheless.<br />
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But blaming, shaming, and shoulda-woulda-coulda does nothing to help. We NEED to continue, and do more about EDUCATING the masses about autistic behaviors. One very common occurrence (ask just about any family raising a child on the spectrum) is stripping off all clothing. Sensory and tactile issues are a very large, and common issue among those with autism. Tags, scratchy fabric, things that are something neurotypical people just deal with, can literally be painful for someone on the spectrum. So the fact that 9 year old Mikaela had taken off her clothes is not something that was shocking to me. What bothered me was people's reactions on my Facebook page- "Why was she naked? Where were her parents? If they knew she might wander, how come they weren't paying attention?" These comments made my blood boil!! These are NOT the questions to be asking! This is not the time to start blaming parents! But that is exactly what was happening. Fingers were pointed at Mikaela's mom, who was in the back of their home, <span style="background-color: white; color: #525252; font-family: 'Droid Sans', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 24px;"> </span>putting screens on vent holes because the wasps were building hives in them, to keep her family from being stung. s A bee scared Mikaela’s brother and he ran. That is when Mikaela disappeared. Her mom's response time was immediate- literally 2 minutes- and police were called within 13 minutes. These are NOT the actions of a neglectful parent. </div>
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Our kids can disappear in the blink of an eye- in the time it takes to go to the bathroom, check something in the oven, or answer a phone call, it is possible for a child on the spectrum to disappear. It literally is that fast. I keep a VERY close eye on The Boy. My hands are on him at all times in public- even now that he is almost 11. We don't have to use alarms or special locks anymore, but I am still hyper vigilant. He is high functioning, but still has a diminished capacity for self preservation and danger. And all it takes is one second. I learned the scary way about autism and wandering, but was very lucky The Boy wasn't hurt. I educated the neighbors with pools about his attraction to water. And, living on an island as we do, and not far from water, he was never outside without me or The Mister. Even after repeated concerns to his first preschool about his propensity to wander away, and assurances from the teachers that they would be watchful- he still LEFT preschool, without anyone knowing. That was a phone call I will never, ever forget, that and the feeling of abject terror that came along with it. Again- the situation had a happy ending, but so many don't.</div>
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The <a href="http://nationalautismassociation.org/">National Autism Association</a> has a campaign called <a href="http://nationalautismassociation.org/big-red-safety-box/">Big Red Safety Box</a> which includes the following </div>
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1) A Get REDy booklet containing the following educational materials and tools:</div>
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A caregiver checklist<br />
A Family Wandering Emergency Plan<br />
A first-responder profile form<br />
A wandering-prevention brochure<br />
A sample IEP Letter<br />
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2) Two (2) Door/Window Alarms with batteries<br />
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3) One (1) RoadID Personalized, Engraved Shoe ID Tag*<br />
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4) Five (5) Laminated Adhesive Stop Sign Visual Prompts for doors and windows<br />
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5) Two (2) Safety Alert Window Clings for car or home windows<br />
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6) One (1) Red Safety Alert Wristband</div>
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This is a wonderful resource, and through the help of donations, many families can be provided this invaluable resource. There are also GPS tracking bracelets that can be purchased, but are VERY expensive (starting at around $299) and for already cash strapped families this may not be possible. Swim lessons are also a must- unfortunately, your average YMCA swim instructor may not know how to teach an autistic child to swim. There was a program near us that actually did a "clothes on" lesson so children could feel how different it is- heavy and constricting-nothing like when wearing a bathing suit. <br />
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Perhaps the most important ethical question we can ask ourselves when such event happens is whether there was anything that could have done to prevent it, and what can be done in the future to prevent it. and on some levels, we do ask ourselves these questions Unfortunately, the immediate thought is there must be someone to fault, something to blame. This is human nature, a visceral reaction to something we cannot understand. While there ARE many cases that there is a specific target to lay blame on- this is definitely not one of them. This is a tragedy, this is a family who has lost their child, and a mom who will most likely blame herself forever . Asking why Mikaela's mom took her eyes off her is not the right question. Making statements like "If that were my child I would have done _______ or ________" are not helpful either. Let's remember, this is a mom. A mom who has lost a child. A mom who needs support, not accusations. It is times like these that the autism community needs to rally around one of its own- and work even harder than ever to EDUCATE everyone. </div>
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<a href="https://www.giveforward.com/fundraiser/wnd2/in-memory-of-drew-howell?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=fb_share_stream.share&utm_campaign=vanity_page_T1&og_action=hug&t=3&fb_ref=1027093">Drew Howell</a><br />
<a href="http://blog.al.com/live/2013/05/pensacola_newspaper_reports_ow.html">Owen Black</a></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04422351778391296408noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5570620003225333931.post-14442720131505418582013-05-13T12:39:00.000-07:002013-05-13T17:00:46.043-07:00My baby went to camp today and I am a WRECK! <table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
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Fifth grade camp. An amazing opportunity the kids in our district get to experience and look forward to from 1st grade on. When I sent Teenzilla, I was a little nervous, but she had already spent a week at Girl Scout camp, so she was ready to go, and I was pretty relaxed about sending her.<br />
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But The Boy is different. Not only does he have autism, he is MY BABY. And in almost 11 years I have not been away from home for more than a weekend- and not even a full 48 hours so this is just as much about me as it is about him. Today, The Boy is embarking on a journey that a lot of kiddos on the spectrum may not get a chance to do. Runners, non verbal, numerous medical issues may prevent a lot of kiddos with autism from being able to enjoy and be safe at a fully inclusive school week long camping trip. I feel very blessed that The Boy is able to participate.</div>
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While I know in my heart he will thrive there I cannot help but have those crazy motherly instincts that drive all moms bonkers when they are away from their babies.<br />
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Am I excited for him to experience camp? Absolutely. Do I trust that the teachers,staff and high school counselors will care for him, watch over him, and not let him near danger, and recognize when sensory overload is imminent ? Undoubtedly. Am I worried about his very limited eating, sleeping in a bunk bed and group showering? Damn straight I am! Do I think he will come home singing fabulous songs, full of stories about his week away and be tired and smelly? I expect it. <br />
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But I am a mom, and I worry. I worry that he may not like certain activities. I worry that he will get homesick, I worry that he will feel alone. <span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'normal Arial', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22px;"> </span>These are all irrational fears, I know. I have sent a kid away to camp- and she was well taken care of. The Boy will be well taken care of, too. He is bunking with some buddies from football, who found him right away this morning to get on the bus. He was smiling,and excited. There weren't any tearful second thoughts, hanging on to me or dad and refusing to let go, not one, single, concern. That may change tonight- his first night away from home, a strange place, a different routine, but the teachers and counselors are all aware and assured me they will make the transitions as easy as possible. And even though they discourage calls home- if he really really needs to hear my voice- they will let him call home. That eases my worry, if only a little bit.<br />
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This experience will put him in an environment where he was required to be more independent, work with his neurotypical peers in a setting completely different from school, or the football field. It will hopefully help him to gain confidence in his own abilities, the fact that he can live without screens and be a bonding experience with other kids that will be a big help when they go to middle school next year. </div>
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I am a nervous wreck. My mind is alternating between the worst and best case scenarios, trying hard to concentrate on the best. His smiling, excited face and declaration of "I am so excited to go to camp!" are definitely keeping my emotions in check- I didn't even cry too much when they left! And I am reciting "No news is good news" over and over in my head- because that is a solid truth I can be confident in. </div>
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This week away is a huge learning experience, for us both. It is sure to fly by, before I know it, it will be Friday and The Boy will be home. I can't wait!<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04422351778391296408noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5570620003225333931.post-81596207992432358382013-04-30T17:16:00.000-07:002013-05-01T13:56:07.366-07:00 Oops! Autism still exists beyond April. What happened during Autism Awareness Month?Well, Autism Awareness Month may be over- but our job as Autism parents never ends. And even though it is the end of Autism Awareness Month, it is certainly not the end of promoting Autism Acceptance. That is something to work on every day of the year.<br />
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I usually do a post a day on Facebook about Autism. This year, between my school, Teenzilla's many endeavors and constant back and forth with The Boy's school- I did not meet that goal. Believe me, it is all about Autism awareness in my house- as it is in ANY autism household. And while a part of me felt like I missed a lot of opportunities, I know that I ceaselessly promote autism awareness and ACCEPTANCE on a daily basis. So I missed some status updates- the world goes on.<br />
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I just want everyone to understand and know, that while awareness is necessary, ACCEPTANCE is vital. And just because the month of April is over doesn't mean the efforts to continue spreading awareness should stop. “Autism Acceptance” needs to be applied to every other month of the year. More than that, I want everyone out there to continue spreading just plain old ACCEPTANCE. <span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.703125px;">As we move beyond this month let us all embrace what comes after awareness; acceptance, inclusion, respect and full lives for all of us regardless of our abilities or disabilities. </span><br />
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Just because someone is "different" doesn't mean they don’t need and deserve to be accepted with open arms by members of their community. We all look, act, learn and behave differently but we should all be treated equally and be afforded the same opportunities<br />
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I think May should be dubbed "National Inclusion Month". Inclusion is such important concept when talking about acceptance because true inclusion involves interacting with, communicating with, teaching, and accepting people. Not just because they’re different but because they’re the same. Did that just blow your mind? We are all human. There is no sane reason to exclude individuals with differences or their families. Don't we all deserve the same respect and to be included, despite any "differences"? <br />
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What I really, really want EVERYONE to remember is just because the calendar changes to May- doesn't mean that all persons with autism disappear for another year. Nope. Kids and adults alike with varying forms of autism are still working, living, learning, loving and existing EVERY SINGLE DAY OF THE YEAR! </div>
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It is great to have an entire month dedicated to the cause, but autism will continue to affect the lives of families all year round.My challenge to you is to continue to advocate for awareness,education and ACCEPTANCE of ASD. The need for answers does not begin and end with the month of April.<br />
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So stay strong, keep advocating, and dammit- get a minute for yourself if you can Autie/Aspie parents caregivers and teachers! We need a little downtime on occasion too. </div>
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Don't forget, I am doing a giveaway on my Facebook page <a href="https://www.facebook.com/WineauxMomof3">Red Vines and Red Wine</a>- a GREAT book- How to talk to an Autistic Kid, written BY and autistic kid!! It is wonderful and awesome and I can't wait to find out who the winner is! </div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04422351778391296408noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5570620003225333931.post-74730725828568358832013-04-27T15:40:00.000-07:002013-04-27T15:40:22.869-07:00You got me WHAT for Mother's Day?? <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjV3qkIKTHm3NXvNF4UkeurfC521yWhlBOjKx-0YEFj4o-uBZIZLq6IJ7MXjazJwq4UPX0jPm_4MmSxMllBqjHia4o6RV-dVaFZkrsssvQKL2E6_Dgi0Aa9DAngNQhV-mTLxReFDnoSNMIK/s1600/mothersdayblog.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="168" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjV3qkIKTHm3NXvNF4UkeurfC521yWhlBOjKx-0YEFj4o-uBZIZLq6IJ7MXjazJwq4UPX0jPm_4MmSxMllBqjHia4o6RV-dVaFZkrsssvQKL2E6_Dgi0Aa9DAngNQhV-mTLxReFDnoSNMIK/s320/mothersdayblog.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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OK- it's another in a long list of blogs by seemingly ungrateful mom's saying what they DON'T want for Mother's Day. I full embrace my ungrateful, whiny, bitchy side when it comes to this day. For years, I was the smile and say how much I loved the homemade gifts and home burnt, I mean, cooked breakfasts,mom. Then my spawn got older, and the gifts didn't get any better. No thought, no pizzazz, and homemade Chore Coupons are a bunch of bullshit- because as soon as you try to redeem them the kids are nowhere to be found.<br />
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I am my family's EVERYTHING- as most mom's are. I am the cook, maid, chauffeur, doctor, lawyer, teacher, warden, confidant, laundress, go to every meeting, school function and know where EVERYTHING is at ALL times, super woman 24/7. Mother's Day is every damn day a far as I am concerned. But do I ask for anything? Nope. And most likely, I will end up doing something for someone else, or giving up something I wanted to do just to keep the peace. (Or spare the credit card- I have serious issues spending money on myself).<br />
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I like quiet. No video games or sports (unless I choose one of them) playing on the TV. No laundry or cleaning. No fighting among kids. Maybe take me out to breakfast or brunch. Or let me stay in bed all day if I choose with NO INTERRUPTIONS. Make me a mimosa. Or three. A day trip to the spa- now you're talking. But I most definitely do not want:<br />
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<span style="background-color: #e06666;"><b>1)A burnt, partially cold breakfast in bed. First you woke me up. Second, you made a huge mess. Third- I don't like eating in bed. The flower/weed from the yard does not pretty up this disaster. So thanks, but no thanks.</b></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #e06666;"><b>2) Asking me the day before what I want. If you haven't at least THOUGHT about Mother's Day prior to the day before- just forget it. </b></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #e06666;"><b>3) Anything that implies household chores. Vacuums, pots and pans, a 50's style apron. Nope, nope and nope. Save that shit for birthday and Christmas. </b></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #e06666;"><b>4) Jewelry. Yeah- you heard me. I wear my wedding ring, occasionally earrings if I can find a matched pair. But I don't need or want anything else. Now- get my wedding ring cleaned- that would be appreciated. </b></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #e06666;"><b>5)Gift Cards. Really? I mean, I love giving these easy, no muss no fuss gifts- to teenagers and distant relatives. But not on Mother's Day. To me. No thanks.</b></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #e06666;"><b>6)Clothes. I am super picky about what I wear- and I am overweight, so odds are that unless it is a scarf or a pair of socks,(which I don't want either) it will be the wrong size and I will have my feelings hurt or be pissed. It doesn't work out for The Mister, or the kiddos- don't do it.</b></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #e06666;"><b>7) An afternoon with the in laws. I love them- but I really don';t want to spend my afternoon being worried what The Boy is doing, or having to stare at a sulky Teenzilla. Honey- YOU take the kids and go hang out with YOUR mom! That would be awesome! </b></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #e06666;"><b>8) NOTHING with "Best Mom Ever" or anything similar on it. </b></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #e06666;"><b>9) Nothing handmade from the kids. The two who are at home are almost 15 and 11. The oldest is 22. GO TOGETHER AND BUY YOUR MOM SOMETHING DAMMIT! </b></span></div>
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I am simple- I would enjoy a day of chillin' with the kids, taking random naps, NOT doing laundry or cleaning up after anyone, having full control of the TV and sipping mimosa's. If The Twenty Something has to work, take me out for dinner at Chile's and give me some of those awesome margarita's like you did last year- you know, the ones that had me laughing too loud and damn near dancing on the table? That was great!<br />
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Just be extra nice to me, ok? Don't ask what needs to be done- just do it. Don't make snippy remarks to antagonize someone, be sarcastic with The Boy who doesn't get it anyway, ask me where ANYTHING is (unless it is my empty wine glass- I will be happy to point you in that direction) and don't begrudge me MY day. I love you all, and am grateful to have such a beautiful,wonderful family. Me getting a day "off" won't change any of that. And please- don't forget- this is my 11th Mother's Day without my own mom. I miss her every day. This day is one of the hardest. I might be kind of weepy. Don't ask questions, and don't make a big deal of it if I burst into tears and run upstairs. It will pass. Just have another glass of wine waiting when I return- and everything will be just fine.<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04422351778391296408noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5570620003225333931.post-1269709432664914332013-04-09T06:41:00.004-07:002013-04-09T06:42:47.694-07:00Autism awareness, and teaching your kids tolerance<br />
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Today The Boy went for a bike ride to the local park that is a block from our house. This is something he does quite frequently, AND quite frequently comes home with a story of how he met someone, and made a new friend. The best part of that- they usually know me and that just blows The Boy's mind!<br />
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So anyway- today he went to the park. There was a group of kids there- he said he couldn't remember their names, but he has seen them at school. He decided to introduce himself, (and I am sure he did it in his grand fashion of a sweeping bow, followed by his entire name, age and grade in school) and wanted to hang out. This is difficult for people on the spectrum. Interpreting social cues, knowing how to approach people- these things are a lot more difficult for the kiddo on the spectrum. It doesn't come easy, or natural. The group of kids apparently laughed at him, and started teasing him.<br />
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It was about this time, that The Boy realized it was time to leave, so he started to ride his bike away, and this group of kids chased him, calling him names and telling him they knew where he lived. The Boysaid he rode as fast as he could to get home- but "They were just joking around with me mom". That is the saddest part to me,The Boy really thought they were just joking around with him. This was a teachable moment, a time to explain to him that not everyone is nice or worthy of being a friend. His look of confusion breaks my heart, and makes me want to shelter him from a cruel and intolerable world that will always look at him as deficient, not worthy, and "weird".<br />
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I was mad, I was hurt for him, I was ANGRY! What is wrong with parents that don't teach kids to be tolerant or even kind? And I know- parents can't be responsible for everything their kids do when out of their sight- but if they are TAUGHT AT HOME, they generally act the way they have been taught in public, with or without their parents.<br />
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And the way The Boy explained it, there were 4 of them, and a kind of "pack mentality" seems to have set in- and they singled out my son, by himself, as weak, and easy to bully. Yeah-- kids at this age are jerks- but they have obviously not been taught how to act, or treat others. And if just ONE of them was taught that this was wrong, that one could have stopped it. They might be young, but they are not stupid. Teenzilla was sticking up for the "underdog" as young as six years old! It's not unheard of.<br />
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I am not writing this for the other parents of children with special needs who have seen their children bullied, or excluded, or have their feelings hurt because of similar behavior This is directed at those OTHER parents. The ones who seem to have forgotten that their job is to teach their children about diversity, tolerance and problem solving skills. And how bullying is NOT ok... ever.<br />
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It's already hard enough with The Boy being socially segregated at school- put in a categorical classroom that is not made to seem like a part of the school community at times and social isolation and harassment can go hand in hand. Without meaningful interaction with students with disabilities, other students are more likely to make hurtful remarks based on stereotypes. THIS is where parents come in. TEACH YOUR KIDS! If you want your child to grow up being not only tolerant but inclusive then you need to expect that from the very beginning. Don’t expect them to learn these values as adults if you haven’t encouraged it of them as children. And don't expect it to be taught in school- because the school's that do embrace the full meaning of inclusion are few.<br />
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So parents- let me give some helpful advice in how to teach your kids to NOT be jerks- and maybe some of you out there can take this advice as well.</div>
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<b><br />Teach the golden rule; Treat others the way you would want to be treated!!!<br /><br /><br />Model tolerant, accepting behavior. Kids learn what they live- THAT is a fact.<br /><br /><br />Don’t label! Referring to other kids as "that one with autism" or "that girl who wears hearing aids" only points out differences, issues that may not even concern your child, but will become the focus now that you have pointed it out. This is just as important as if you are talking about ANYONE, whether directly to your child or not. See above statement!</b><b><br /></b> <b>Encourage questions, and if you don't have an answer- talk to someone who KNOWS. Talk to a parent of a kiddo with special needs, particularly autism, because it's invisible- and not something that can be seen. ASK ME!! I will tell you whatever you would like to know, and I will help you talk to your kids.</b></div>
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April is Autism Awareness Month. It is also Autism Action Month. Check out these websites for some great information, and ways you can become more aware, and therefore more tolerant- which enables you to help teach your kids how to be more tolerant, kind and compassionate. We really need more of that in the world, don't you think? </div>
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<a _mce_href="http://nationalautismassociation.org/" href="http://nationalautismassociation.org/">http://nationalautismassociation.org/</a></div>
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<a _mce_href="http://www.autism-society.org/about-autism/facts-and-statistics.html" href="http://www.autism-society.org/about-autism/facts-and-statistics.html">http://www.autism-society.org/about-autism/facts-and-statistics.html</a></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04422351778391296408noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5570620003225333931.post-17087259244027627202013-04-02T11:18:00.004-07:002014-04-01T13:00:58.298-07:00Autism Numbers - 1 in 68. Who is celebrating? <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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April is Autism Awareness Month. I hear so many people asking how others are going to "celebrate". There is no "celebration", unless it is celebrating the accomplishments our kids make. Or celebrating the parents and the family members who make countless sacrifices every day. No, Autism is NOT cause to celebrate. What it is, is a cause for panic- why are the numbers climbing? Why is NOTHING being done about it? Why are so many useless "studies" being done? It's all about maternal age. No wait, it's all about paternal age. Oh no, it's about how close you live to a freeway. GAHHHH!!!<br />
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I use platforms such as my blog, my Facebook page and my big fat mouth to push autism awareness, action and acceptance. I will shout it from the rooftops. I want to make people aware of the EPIDEMIC that is Autism. I don't celebrate it. I don't know many who do. I celebrate my son's accomplishments. I celebrate his milestones. I celebrate his amazing little self- but I DO NOT celebrate the fact that he is 1 in 68 children that are diagnosed with this disorder.We should honor and celebrate those that live with autism and face and overcome more challenges than a lot of people could ever imagine. </div>
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Then you have Autism Speaks- the first organization it seems that comes to mind when talking about Autism. It is easily one of the biggest and loudest voices talking about autism. Some questions I wish more people would ask about Autism Speaks- aside from why they mismanage the money gained off of hopeful families walking in circles- where are the Autistic people on their board? Why do only 4% of the funds raised actually go to the families that need them? WHERE DOES THE MONEY GO?? </div>
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And to bring up the MOST controversial of topics- the fact that AS has said repeatedly that vaccines and autism cannot possibly have any link to one another, but, in 2009 Dr. Geraldine Dawson says almost the exact opposite. "It remains scientifically plausible that the challenge to the immune system resulting from a vaccine (or other immunological challenges) could, in susceptible individuals, have adverse consequences for the developing brain." and "Evidence does not support the theory that vaccines are causing an autism epidemic. However, it is plausible that specific genetic or medical factors that are present in a small minority of individuals might lead to an adverse response to a vaccine and trigger the onset of autism symptoms." Oh- and when I went to look at this interview with her- I got an error message on the AS website ACCESS DENIED. Hmmm... interesting<br />
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So if you want to know why I no longer support AS, follow the link- you will see one BIG reason why. <a href="http://www.autismspeaks.org/sites/default/files/documents/990s/2010_tax_form_990.pdf">Autism Speaks Financials</a> shows salaries of upward to $400,000 dollars! SALARIES! Add to that a very large lobbying budget, and the fact that <span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.796875px;"> </span>44% of Autism Speaks’ budget may go toward research, but only a small percentage of these funds go towards research into improving the quality of life of autistic people. Hell- I want a CAUSE or CAUSES pinpointed for the huge upswing in Autism- then perhaps a cause will lead to a cure and so on and so forth- but the simple truth is there are already way too many children and adults already diagnosed- who are struggling NOW. I would love to know how many of these families and individuals have actually received the Autism Speaks Family Grant, and how much they received. </div>
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I know many say that Autism Speaks advocating for a "cure" is discounting anyone with autism, and portraying them as burdens. I can understand that. And I am not an advocate for a "cure" necessarily. But when I talk to the mom who is still changing her 10 year old son's diapers or the dad is holding on to the hope that his daughter will one day make eye contact and say she loves him- I have to say would a "cure" be so bad? </div>
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All of that said- I do not begrudge anyone their opinions or beliefs. I will not be rude, or mocking of anyone who believes in AS. I once did too. And my opinion is not everyone's. Just like my "Educate before you vaccinate" stance- I encourage people to look into local charities for Autism, or The National Autism Association as well, before throwing all of their money at Autism Speaks. Do your own research- and make decisions based on what YOU feel is best for you. I did.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiu3JJ10oOWSyn1vlDSpXYqG-95Awnpoy56-pctlHKrzV9XXH5Il4zcLlbR1ZZCwHHDCxLBy2QBvb9_-hN9mGB5ocuqyUB8W6BTHwn0r414Go3xqQFRnNO1WbMwiaGCVX8AfNS7mokGJe8g/s1600/10167994_10203460123567290_1515556038_a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiu3JJ10oOWSyn1vlDSpXYqG-95Awnpoy56-pctlHKrzV9XXH5Il4zcLlbR1ZZCwHHDCxLBy2QBvb9_-hN9mGB5ocuqyUB8W6BTHwn0r414Go3xqQFRnNO1WbMwiaGCVX8AfNS7mokGJe8g/s1600/10167994_10203460123567290_1515556038_a.jpg" height="171" width="200" /></a></div>
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In the meantime- I will be an awareness junkie. I will read, research, talk, and write for Autism Awareness, I will shove facts, figures and stories in your face - just in the hopes that you will pass on that knowledge to someone else. This is how awareness is spread- from me to you, from you to your spouse or friend and from them to someone else. I don't expect you to become and expert- I am not an expert - but I know a hell of a lot- and you might learn a thing or two from me. </div>
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This is not a month to celebrate. This is a month to learn, and to teach. Parents of autistic children, and adults on the spectrum are a wealth of knowledge that only want the rest of the world to understand. We need to tell our stories so that people will begin to understand and accept our loved ones for who they are, what they are capable of doing, and not what is “wrong with them.” They are human beings living here with us. They are smart, funny, capable, loving and not going away. </div>
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