Thursday, October 13, 2011

He said - She said ( but she was right!)

Today I will feature  my first guest blogger- the one and only, Dad v Autism. OK, OK....I am pretty partial to him- I do sleep with him every night ( and I do mean SLEEP- just ask him!) but he truly is an amazing writer, a terrific, hands on dad and an amazing person.  Enjoy!

Dad v. The Differences
I am very honored that my wife, the Cheerleader, has asked me to write something for her blog.  She is much smarter than me and looks a thousand times better in a bathing suit than I ever will.  She is an incredible advocate for Noah and she’s an awesome mom in general…and I happen to be pretty attracted to her too.
And, don’t tell her I said this, but as much as people think I’m kind of a smart guy…she’s smarter than I am.  She won’t admit it…but that’s just another aspect of why she’s smarter than me.

I’m not a good mom…and it’s not just plumbing differences.  It’s all about the differences in attitudes that we have.  It’s about the differences of what I see and what she sees.  I think it’s a fundamental difference between a large percentage of men and women.

She thinks about the children.  I think about the family. It sounds the same, but it is fundamentally different. 
The difference is in big picture vs the reality of the now.  It’s about dealing with the individuals in our family vs the family unit as a whole.  It’s long term vs short term too.  She worries about the children’s needs as individuals more than I do.  I worry about the needs of the family moving forward more than she does.  She is more empathic and I am more analytical.

The children run to her when they are hurt or upset, because she is more comforting, more understanding…most of the time they are running to her because of something I said…

I can look at a set of numbers and plan out the next twenty years of our life…she can look at those same numbers and ask, “But what about food?  Do you plan on having Christmas this year?”
Sometimes I think her views are short sighted.  She thinks my views are impractical because they do not deal adequately with the problems of today.

There are pros and cons to both of our views and neither view is more valid or important than the other.  In point of fact, both views are complimentary to each other.  They fit together like two pieces of a puzzle.
In respect to money, we have tried my way and it has turned out to be an abject failure.  When we tried it her way, things weren’t a whole lot better.

Now we need to try it OUR way.  We need to collaborate with each other.  We need to compliment each other’s strengths and hide our weaknesses.  We need extol each other’s accomplishments and achievements and we need to comfort each other when we make mistakes.

I know we can do this.  Why?  Because we’ve raised our kids and we’re proud of them…and money doesn’t talk back nearly as much as they do.

Debt is a plague in this country.  It is a soul devouring juggernaut that the media pushes on the public with unrelenting zeal.  We are constantly told that we NEED a new car, 90 days is the same as cash, and the world can be yours with zero money down.

The truth is you don’t NEED the new car, 90 days is NOT the same as cash and the only thing zero down gets you is a world of debt, pain and suffering.

The Cheerleader and I are going to get out of this together.  We are going to compliment each other’s strengths and cover for each other’s weaknesses.  We are a team through thick and thin and, the way things have been going lately, even more thin…hopefully someday soon we can get back to the “thick.”

And you can too.  How do I know this?  Because most of my readers are parents just like the Cheerleader and I and there’s nothing in the world that brings them more pride than their children.  Why?  Because we’ve done a damn good job raising them and they are so much more trouble than money…

I thought I would look better in her costume- glad I went with the Doctor
So good luck to you…and if you’ve got a sec, wish us good luck too.