Monday, September 26, 2011

Getting back to being mom- let the poverty begin

So I did it. I quit my decent paying job to take the job that was close to home, part time and less money. I haven't started stressing out about it yet, the mister is stressing about it enough for both of us.

My last blog was all ranty and ravey- it felt good to get it all out. It feels even better knowing that I will be working from 6:45 A.M to 8:15 A.M. and then again from 2:30 P.M. to 4:30-5:00. NOT getting up at 4 in the damn morning is going to be like a vacation!  This leaves the bulk of my day open to be available for the boy, Teenzilla appointments, naps and what have you.

The guilt of not being there for the boy has been weighing heavily on me. This is a BIG year for him.
It is all for these guys
Transitioned to not only a new school, but completely mainstreamed is well- HUGE. And I have been so busy that I have not been able to devote the time to making sure it all goes as smoothly as possible.

Case in point. Last Friday I got my first call from school. During an argument with another classmate AND teammate the boy lost all composure and BIT the other boy. Fucking BIT him! Autistic or not this is beyond unacceptable- and I was told he had to go home. 9 years old and sent home in the 3rd week of school - for BITING.  To say I was pissed is a gross understatement. NEVER has he done anything like that. EVER.  He kept saying it was an accident- that I truly don't buy...that was a decision that he made- regardless of frustration level. He lost electronics for the day and night ( which for him is like cutting off an arm) and I tried to use his literal point of view to my advantage.

 "Babies and animals bite. Are you a baby?" "No Mom" "Are you an animal?" "No Mom"   "That was an "on purpose" not an accident and you will have consequences for your actions" 

When talking to the principal (who is new this year) she wanted to know if this ever happened at his old school. I said absolutely not! He may have had squabbles now and again but he NEVER bit. Then, much to my surprise- I find out that she (the principal) and the teacher, although they know he is Autistic, have yet to see his IEP! What the hell??  This seems like a VERY key piece to his success at the new school- in fact THE key piece in helping teachers and administrators understand him and help him best.  And they had just basically gotten a Cliffs Notes version of it.

So now the guilt was joined by anger and frustration because I had not even thought to ask for a meeting with the teacher and new principal to go over his IEP. I had assumed ( yeah yeah, I know) that everyone would be filled in.  And sadly, I am not  surprised by the lack of communication at the school. But- had I have been less stressed, closer to home  and able to be more on top of things - maybe this wouldn't have happened.

Yes- I am still going to be busy...until football/cheer season ends in November I will still be running around 5 days a week- getting kids to practice, getting dinner prepared and homework done. But the difference is I will be close to home, the boy can come with me before and  after school now, giving Teenzilla a break from babysitting and giving me a chance to hang out with him, get homework done and just be THERE.

I know that the day will never come when I say "Gee- I wish I wouldn't have spent all that time with my kids". I work in a business where I see way too much of that already. We will survive- we will just survive on less. We still have a roof over our heads and cars to drive and food to eat. Most importantly we have each other and I have my sanity. That is priceless.

That's my girl