Monday, December 26, 2011

New Year's Resolutions are for schmucks!

This looks good to me!


It's that time of year again. The time when we all tell ourselves (and everyone within earshot) just how dramatically our life is about to change. Of course it is. Of course we do. Just like we did the last twenty New Year’s eves. And how well did all of THOSE turn out? Many of us are fantastic resolution makers. Beyond that, not so good. The making, good. The doing, not so good.

January is the "official" start time for change.  A new year, a new you and all that jazz-you know the story.But  if you really think about it- shouldn't you be making changes all year long?  Why the hell are you waiting till the end of the year or the start of a new year? If your life was screwed  up before 12/31, its going to be screwed up going into the new year.  "But this year will be different!" you are probably saying or thinking as you read this. I truly wish you the best of luck with that. I know for myself- making a "resolution" is basically setting myself up for failure- because NOBODY holds me to higher standards than me- so when I fail- I fail HARD.

I have come to the realization that if you make a resolution you might as well throw a penny in a fountain and make a wish. It’s the same hopeful optimism that drives both activities. No "resolution" will work unless you have formulated a plan- written it down and gave yourself reasonable time to complete it.  And I repeat- why didn't you (or I) do this earlier in the year? I have needed to lose weight ALL YEAR. I have needed to quit smoking ALL YEAR. I have needed to save money and take better control of my finances ALL YEAR.  The changing of the calendar after drinking, eating and smoking to my heart's content is not magical in itself.  If only! Then  we would all be thin beautiful, rich non smokers and there would be peace on Earth yadda yadda yadda.

If I am going to try to better myself, I should be doing it year-round. It should be a constant goal, not something marked on a calendar. I know that these things need to start at some point, and what I need to do. I also know that falling on my ass and looking like a total schmuck and then beating myself up over my dismal failure  is not a good strategy.  

So despite an abysmal track record and a vast wasteland of shattered dreams, we continue to approach every New Year the same way; with the same pointless strategy. Isn't the definition of insanity doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome? So that must mean that a whole bunch of us are off our nut insane because that’s exactly what we do. 


So my only "resolution" this year is going to be very vague- I resolve to do some things over the course of the year to make my life better. There.  Now I am gonna go have a cigarette, drink this bizarre concoction that my neighbor Paul just brought me, and then probably eat something fattening. Happy Freakin New Year.