The Dreaded/Hoped For Snow Day

Woo-Hoo! Snow Day!

The Snow Day. Capitalized out of respect, it is a very complicated thing. Pretty much everyone, except parents, love them and wish for them.  But they are definitely a mystery to the everyday person.

What constitutes a Snow Day? Depending on where you live, a light dusting might be cause for panic and the immediate canceling of schools across the board. These are generally areas that don't get a lot of snow. Ever. If you are like me, and live in the Midwest, school only closes if you literally can't open your front door, because the snow is that deep.

We are in the light blue- 4-8 inches

So why do Snow Day's happen? Will we have one tomorrow? According to the weather the East Coast is going to get slammed with  2-4 FEET of wet heavy snow.Where I live in  Michigan, we are supposed to see a fraction of that, possibly up to 6 inches of wet, heavy, accumulating snow, with periods of sleet and freezing rain turning our roads into big icy slip and slides. Last year, they called school off for a supposed Snowmageddon that never happened. I am sure that mistake won't be made again.

The truth is, nobody really understands a Snow Day. With the exception of the weather person- and even then it's debatable.  The powers that govern school closings i.e The Superintendent, decide when and if schools will close, if the roads are too dangerous, teacher's can't make it in to teach, how many Snow Days a district has. (In our case we should have at least 3, we haven't used any as of yet).

Fun in the snow

Now you might be saying "WHY IN THE HELL DO YOU WANT A SNOW DAY?? DON'T YOU REALIZE THE KIDS WILL BE AT *GULP* HOME? WITH YOU??" Yes, yes I do, and I am perfectly o.k. with that. I mean, how can you NOT love a Snow Day. A Snow Day is basically Mother Nature looking down and saying, "Hey, everyone!  You can sleep in! And, guess what? No homework! Is that OK with you?" To which everyone always replies, "HECK YEAH!" For us, it  means a lazy day, watching TV, eating junk food, and chilling out. (literally). Depending on the temps, it probably means some great outside fun.  Yeah- it messes up The Boy's routine a little, but we can overcome that.  It means I don't have to go into work, The Mister will probably work from home and we all get a well deserved three day weekend.

So, I am going to share with you, what Teenzilla's kindergarten teacher shared with her class. A secret, tried and true method to get a Snow Day in 4 easy steps. Now, you do not have to do the ritual, either way, the nasty storm on it's way may decide for you. But, if you aren't sure, and you would really enjoy a day off of school/work/etc. then follow these steps- IN ORDER, or who knows what the outcome will be!

1)Wear your pajamas inside out. This will be even more effective if your pajamas have feet.

2)Flush  ice CUBES down the toilet. Remember, they must be CUBES, crushed ice won't work! (My theory about this is if the ground isn't frozen, snow won't stick, right? And the pipes in your toilet eventually go underground, right? And if your pipes get cold enough, than the ground will freeze, right? So, it stands to reason that if you flush enough ice cubes down your toilet, your pipes will be cold enough to freeze the ground so the snow will stick,  which will consequently render the roads DEATH TRAPS. Automatic snow day.)

3)A spoon, or a white FROZEN crayon under your pillow (I really don't get the reasoning behind this- but hey, whatever works!)

4) The obligatory snow dance. Kind of like a rain dance but with a lot more yelling, running in circles and BIG spazzy arms. Be careful of furniture and proximity to other people during this snow dance, you don't want to spend your Snow Day hurt or in trouble for breaking something. 

There you go. That should do it. And if for some bizarre reason these methods do not get you your Snow Day (pssshht, yeah, right) then at least you got to have some silly fun with your family, and THAT is the best possible outcome anyway.

P.S. I HAVE done this with The Boy- and we didn't get a Snow Day. Due to Autism's literalness, he wasn't a happy camper. This was two years ago. Now, he understands it is all in fun, and if we get lucky we will have a Snow Day.  Autism parents, you will know how much, if any of this will go over well in your house. 

I HATE EVERYTHING

Army ain't got NOTHIN on me

OK- so the title may be a tad misleading.... I love my kids and husband. But....... I HATE getting up at 4 A.M. I HATE doing  more work in the 2 hours before I actually get to work  than most people do all day. (Yes I AM the fucking Army) and I HATE rushrushRUSHING to get home- get kids ready for football and cheer ESPECIALLY now that school has started. GAHHHHHHHH!!!! And we haven't even started with homework yet!

I LOVE that the boy has had 2 amazing days in his new class, and that his teacher is so awesome. But I HATE that I am stressing out about when he gets home, when the homework starts and if all of this is just going to prove to be too much for him.

I HATE that I leave before I even get to see my kids and they are home before me too.  I HATE that I love my job but have no desire to go anymore- what was (is dammit IS!) my life's passion is rapidly turning into a drudgery and a huge inconvenience and a major source of stress that I cannot avoid. At least not if I like living in a house and eating on occasion.

I HATE that I have an opportunity to work closer , hell, pretty much on top of home, but it would mean a DRASTIC pay cut that we cannot afford right now.Actually ever. I HATE that I have cut every corner (on paper anyway) and still can't find a way to make it work- me switching jobs that is. And I HATE that I am rapidly starting to not GIVE A SHIT.  I will go without wine (cue the GASP)  I will go without expensive lunchmeat and cheese, I will make this old bra last a few more months, I will buy cheaper makeup, I will shop exclusively at Aldi's ( have quarter, will shop!)  we will not eat any more fast food, I will be saving about $110 a month in gas so that would help...right? But most of all - I will be more relaxed ( well- define RELAXED first).

I will be close to both Teenzilla and the Boy. I will remember to look on the school website for the right time for parent night at school, I will pack healthier lunches, I will be able to be a room mom, or hell, just be a part of the elementary experience- like I was with Teenzilla. And in my opinion it is even MORE important I am there as much as I can be- I mean autism and mainstream  4th grade- I want to be a part of that.  I NEED to be a part of it.

The mister says things like- "Well, we need to eat and pay bills" well DOY...it's not like I don't know this but what price is my sanity worth? What price is our children's education and my involvement worth? Perhaps if I had been more a part of my oldest's elementary school career his life wouldn't have taken such a terrible turn.

So now you see why, at this very moment.. I HATE EVERYTHING!!

I.Am.Going.To. SNAP

Welcome to Summer Vacation. Sorry if if sucks

The reality of summer vacation never quite equals the fantasy. At least in my mind anyway. Being a teacher I have enjoyed the spoils of summer vacation- the spoils being spending time with my kids, lazy days by the pool, hanging out and just enjoying being a mom. Well, at least until the inevitable barrage of "I'm bored" and He's touching me" begins. Yet even then- I can honestly say I loved summer vacation for quite a few years.

The family that plays together

Then- last year - our financial situation was shit. I needed to go to work. I wasn't happy about it. I started by looking for a bartending job, but because I wasn't 22 with an ass you could bounce a quarter off it didn't pan out. I ended up working in a deli at our local grocery store- working crazy shifts like 1:30-10:00 PM. That meant the kiddos were home alone and mom wasn't around to do ANYTHING with them. I was sad. I was mad. But it was what it was and we all had to deal.

Now I am back in my chosen career- Preschool Teacher Extraordinaire.  But- where I normally wouldn't be working over the summer- now I am. And- I am out of my class and in with the school age kids. I don't mind- I will be out of the school most days on field trips- a good and bad thing as I am taking a bunch of other kids places that I am not taking mine 1) because they are so damn expensive and 2) well- there is no other thing- it is truly all about the $$$. 

I began stressed out- I was so worried who was gonna take care of Noah- 8-9 hours 5 days a week is a lot to ask of Tweenzilla- and she wants to do stuff too.  Then a miracle- Noah's teacher offered to watch him. I was blown away- she and her family are utterly amazing and BONUS- like 10 minutes from my work. SCORE!  And now Tweenzilla (soon to be TEENzilla) can have the house to herself to do her art, watch TV, take random bike rides and just hang out.  So I am very relieved- at least until summer school starts for the boy..I will cross that bridge when I have to.

Another check in the plus column- my boss also has 4 kids and she knows how important it is for me to NOT work until 6:00 every day ( since I also have a 45 minute drive home that is great) and I will have non field trip days off. Of course- there aren't many non field trip days- but I will take what I can get.

Two summer birthdays can be fun

But I still have this mother's guilt that I am not with my kids - therefore I am a bad mom (especially as I take care of other people's kids). I mean summer vacation was just a lazy time..really. Driving kiddos around- feeding all of Tweenzilla's friends when they are over, that kind of stuff.  We aren't a family that travels for various reasons. Noah is interesting to take new places to say the least, and having to take out a third mortgage on the house for a family vacay is not gonna happen. Both of their birthdays are also in the summer- so we usually do a party or something fun for them along those lines.

Up North Michigan is AMAZING

But I still wish I was HOME. Even if we don't go anywhere special- maybe a trip or two Up North,  or a baseball game. But the time I get to spend with them is priceless and they are growing so fast it is quickly approaching the years where they REALLY don't want anything to do with me. My oldest is 20..been there, done that.

Tigers Baseball!!

So I am appeasing myself by compiling a list of reasons why summer sucks- well except for ice cream, not having to wear socks, and more hours in the day. Hoping it makes me feel better.

1) It's hot and humid. 

2) My hair is a mess


3) I hate the way I look in a bathing suit


4)I still have to work


5)Despite the aforementioned working- I am still broke.


6) I have to shave my legs  every single day

Well- that didn't work- I am still feeling like throwing a pity party.  I need more wine.

Til Death Do Us Part?

A general definition of marriage is that it is a social contract between two individuals that unites their lives legally, economically and emotionally.  I find it funny that in this day and age the definition of marriage has changed to encompass “traditional” (man and woman) and “non traditional” (man-man, woman-woman) and there is actually a Federal Marriage Act defining what is a legally binding union.  Whatever happened to 2 people meet, fall in love and decide to spend the rest of their lives together- united under God or whatever spiritual being guides your life? 

It sounds deceptively simple- but taking two individuals- who more than likely share common interests, but still have their own sense of self- put them together and all will be happiness and unicorns right? Wrong. Oh- for awhile- it is like that-the honeymoon phase- and how long that lasts is utterly dependent on the couple, their socio-economic status, temperaments, and all of the outside influences that surround them.  Add to that mix each person’s insecurities, fears, dreams, wants, needs, stress levels, careers and financial condition and you can have a recipe for disaster or you are precariously picking your way through a minefield , never really knowing what might trigger an explosion.

All marriages are different of course- as different as we all as human beings are. No marriage truly fits a mold, although many couples put on an impressive façade to try to convince others that they are “The Perfect Couple”.  My mom used to call it “not airing our dirty laundry” something that in the age of Facebook, Twitter and all forms of social media is not only commonplace but thrived on by those who live for other’s pain. I am as guilty as anyone- I have “aired my dirty laundry” on more than one occasion. I have since learned to be more discreet but sometimes, in a fit of anger my Facebook status might reveal a little too much information- and that doesn’t sit well with MY spouse.  

No marriage is fail proof. The harder a couple works at a marriage- the more stable and everlasting it can be for sure- but what happens if you stop loving somebody?  Or they stop loving you? Or sickness makes a spouse resentful, or the stress of parenting is more than one spouse can handle, especially if we are talking special needs children. These are just a handful of examples of why marriages end- not even really scratching the surface.

But then there are the marriages that you hear about lasting 30,40,50+ years. Having been married for 13 years I can’t even fathom that amount of time- but I see it- in my spouses parents and grandparents and it amazes me, and makes me both hopeful and worried. I am not even close to the same person I was 13 years ago, mostly for the better- and raising an autistic child has surely put a shitload of stress on my marriage. That combined with many moves, loss of my mom, and a feeling of not reaching my full potential (yet) has stretched my marriage to its limits- or what I thought was its limits. I have been shocked at what the heart and soul can endure in the name of love.

Sometimes it takes more than one marriage to find the right fit- sometimes a marriage gone bad scares (and scars) a person for life. Marriage is not even a consideration for a lot of people. Whatever category you might fall in- one of these or one of the myriad of others I wish you well. It’s a scary, long, bumpy, rewarding, frightening, painful joyful road. And after having traveled it for this long- I think I will keep going .I’m curious as to what lies around the next corner.

I have to work this summer- why can't I just win the lottery?

Working is a necessary thing. Some have a job and some have a career. For the last 11 years I have fallen into the latter category- I have a career. I teach preschool, and I love it! I love young children, I love finger-painting, wearing pajamas to work, singing and dancing but most of all I love opening windows and doors in young minds and watching them learn. It is an amazingly rewarding career, and I have been blessed to be able to not only work with other's children but to  have my own right there with me. 

As I have gotten older- my career goals have changed drastically. While I still love working with the little ones, having a child diagnosed with Autism made me rethink my career choice. So 2 years ago I went back to college (Wayne State-go Warriors!) to get my BA in Special Education, with a focus on Autistic Spectrum Disorders. Time and money constraints have forced me to take a hiatus from school- and working as a substitute is not cutting it.

Enter the job hunt. I cannot believe how hard it is to find a simple cocktail waitress or bar-tending job- which was my first choice. Being summer, kiddos are home- I wanted something that would allow me to work evenings so my husband could be home while I was at work. Several applications later- I was completely frustrated and more than a little depressed. I am not 22 any more and being a little on the chunky side  worked against me- regardless of customer service skills- I did not fit the mold of the perky cocktail waitress.

So in a desperate moment (ok, after a couple of glasses of wine and a small pity party) I applied at the local grocery store, Kroger. Being as most of my family worked there, I figured what the hell? So after filling out a very long application and personality quiz- I actually moved on- forgetting about it. That is, until my phone rang last Tuesday- Kroger calling- Can you come in for an interview tomorrow? Of course I said yes.

So had a very successful interview- took the pre-employment drug test, and now today get the phone call to come in for orientation tomorrow. -Insert big sigh here-  Yes we need the money, but I haven't worked in summer in 10 + years! I am spoiled!  So now I need to worry about baby-sitters, getting the youngest to summer school, my anniversary getaway in July, and will I even be making enough money to justify working?  All of these worries on top of my own medical issues and a surgery I will be putting off until school starts (at the very least). 

I am thrilled that I will be bringing in a paycheck- it certainly will (hopefully) help- especially with 2 birthdays this summer, I am happy I was able to find a job that is literally 5 minutes from my house, I am happy to have found a job at all. I know I sound like a snotty, unappreciative bitch- but if those lottery numbers will just cooperate, it would be so nice.