Screw you Daylight Savings Time!

It's that time of year, the time when we "spring forward" and gain extra daylight, anticipate the arrival of spring and most importantly LOSE AN HOUR OF SLEEP! In an autism household- sleep is a precious commodity, one that is horded like fine jewels or our favorite wine.  Nighttime wanderings, odd sleep schedules and the like is something that most parents with kids on the spectrum endure. Melatonin is the Autism parent's best friend. But when those clocks change-  at either time of the year- it can send our kids into a tailspin that can take a while to recover from.

The Boy, like most autistic children, NEEDS structure and routine. He doesn't like abrupt changes in plans, although as he gets older that seems to be getting a little better.  But when things don't go as they should- in his mind anyway- it is prime time for massive frustration, irritability and possible meltdowns. The time change   is not just an inconvenient part of life for him. Having extra daylight means absolutely nothing to him. The clock on the wall and his internal clock are now different. While his body (and the Melatonin) are telling him one thing- his dad and I are telling him something different- and it messes him up. 

In years past- the time change has been a source of agitation for the whole family. We have to adjust dinner time, medicine time and try to ensure that the first day of the time change he is resting, relaxing and hopefully prepared the following morning for school.  I can't count how many all nighters we pulled (melatonin and Clonidine would get him to dreamland, but would not keep him there.) He was moody, over tired, and not a joy to be around at all. Our lack of sleep made us just as irritable, and of course that made life just all around miserable for everyone. 

This year, like every other year, we will spend Sunday just relaxing, keeping things quiet and make the adjustments that are needed as unobtrusively as possible. This may help, it may not. Monday is also a delayed start at school, so that may help. 

That doesn't mean that the anxious knot in my belly is getting any better. And all of the worse case scenarios are playing on a loop through my sleepless mind. Not like I don't have enough to keep me awake at night, like the impending IEP, some odd behaviors we have been seeing lately, my work, my school...the list goes on. 

I hope that we have an easy transition like we had 2 years ago, and even last year wasn't the worst. We prepare for WWIII at all holidays, family gatherings, family outings and yes for Daylight Savings Time.  Prepare for the worst, hope for the best- my life's motto. 

I think that maturity plays into all of this, and the older he gets, the better he handles unexpected (or even expected) change. He lives by his calendar, and announces any and all holidays on it. So he is aware of DST, and aware we all lose an hour of sleep. And so far, nothing negative. 

Now if only Mother Nature would cooperate, and stop with this polar vortex and snow crap- then we could truly feel like "springing" into anything. 

Autism and Middle School- OH MY!

Starting the new school year can be tough on any kiddo. Transitioning to middle school is probably one of the biggest anxiety inducing transitions! Now- let's throw autism into the mix, and the challenges become more intense. Kids with autism usually have struggles with things changing, and a new school year is chock full of changes. New schedules and routines to get used to. New teachers, finding classrooms, finding lockers, having gym EVERY SINGLE DAY (is that just me?) , new educational and behavioral expectations, new rules for 7 DIFFERENT CLASSES!! Anxiety and stress are at maximum levels, meltdown probability  at 99-100%. PLEASEDONTLETITHAPPENATSCHOOL! ( I am already freaking out.)

On top of everything else- the change of seasons affects our kiddos, especially those who are very sensitive to certain types of clothing. School shopping has to be an exact science- but we all know it never is.  Middle school also means much less outdoor energy release, and much more indoor, have to sit, listen, and cope.  Gym (as much as I dread it) will be The Boy's only physical release opportunity- which sounds great- but gym is his least favorite class.  I am not counting on it to be a good way for him to get the much needed movement and exercise he needs to regroup. (Freaking out more now)

Although I try to keep bedtimes consistent throughout summer- it is a losing battle.  Not only will I have to get him adjusted to regular bedtimes again- he will have to get up earlier, eat, take his meds, get dressed and get ready- probably with ZERO TV time.... (I am seriously starting to hyperventilate).

Once they are at school, the sounds, sights, smells are all new stimuli that is very likely to put sensitive sensory systems into hyperdrive. (I need a drink).

What about the teachers that don't know how to work with an autistic kid?  We have had meetings, made sure a "Meet The Boy" letter was circulated, not to mention the numerous calls, and emails over the summer with concerns. But how is that all going to work out the first day, week, month?  (Somebody get me a glass of wine)

Yes, there are some positives, The Boy doesn't care about a new backpack, isn't too concerned with clothes, and will more than likely do well once he learns his schedule and that daily routine is established.  (Feeling a little calmer-maybe)

I wish I could say that the elementary school has well prepared him for the changes that are coming.  Working with him over the summer- I hope to have got him somewhat caught up- since he was never challenged in elementary school. Educational anxiety is the last thing he needs.... (PITA mom gearing up)

So here are are some things I have thought of- this is by no means everything, so  please comment with your tips and hints!  We have to stick together! 

Good Luck to us all!!!

Prepare yourself!!! A calm mom and dad are better able to help a child create a smooth back to school transition. 

Find or create social stories to help your child with any concerns about getting ready for and going to school. (Yes- even for Tweens and Teens!)

Re-set their internal clock! Early to bed, early to rise. (This will probably not earn you any points if you have a late sleeper- but we all know how erratic our ASD kiddos sleep patterns can be!)

Get a list of school supplies and put together a backpack WITH your child! They may have old favorites from the previous year- incorporate those if possible.  

Let your child pick out their outfit (with guidance if necessary), and lay it out the night before. By both of you working together to pick an outfit the night before, anxieties about “what will I wear” are reduced. Additionally, having the outfit picked out the night before speeds up getting out the door the next day.  (Tweens and Teens on the spectrum want to be cool and fit in, let them help with the clothes shopping!)

Put yourself out there! Make it clear to teachers and administration that you are available to answer questions and provide support for your kiddo. Make sure they have your phone number and email address and encourage them to use it!!  Be polite, but be firm, this is your kiddos education and you take it seriously, and you expect no less from the school.

Have confidence in your child’s abilities. They are smart,capable, and ready to learn, if given the right environment and right tools. Help make sure they have these tools and they will be the best they can be! 

WINE. LOTS OF WINE.

HERE ARE SOME TIPS FROM READERS AT Red Vines and Red Wine on Facebook

Jennifer R:  Make appointments with teachers/principal and get them into the school as many times as possible for an easy transition.

Lauren W: Don't wait till the first day to introduce new school shoes!!!! It takes mine about 2 weeks to like new shoes!!! Lol

Jess M: start talking about the coming changes and getting the routine started it will make it sooo much smoother to transition

Autism hates Daylight Savings Time

Ahhh- it's that time of year, the time when we "spring forward" and gain extra daylight, anticipate the arrival of spring and most importantly LOSE AN HOUR OF SLEEP! In an autism household- sleep is a precious commodity, one that is horded like fine jewels or Nutella.  Nighttime wanderings, odd sleep schedules and the like is something that most parents with kids on the spectrum endure. Melatonin is the Autism parent's best friend. But when those clocks change-  at either time of the year- it can send our kids into a tailspin that can take a whileto recover from.

The Boy, like most autistic children, NEEDS structure and routine. He doesn't like abrupt changes in plans, although as he gets older that seems to be getting a little better.  But when things don't go as they should- in his mind anyway- it is prime time for massive frustration, irritability and possible meltdowns. The time change   is not just an inconvenient part of life for him. Having extra daylight means absolutely nothing.  The clock on the wall and his internal clock are now different. While his body (and the Melatonin) are telling him one thing- his dad and I are telling him something different- and it messes him up. 

In years past- the time change has been a source of agitation for the whole family. We have to adjust dinner time, medicine time and try to ensure that the first day of the time change he is resting, relaxing and hopefully prepared the following morning for school.  I can't count how many all nighters we pulled (melatonin and Clonidine would get him to dreamland, but would not keep him there.) He was moody, over tired, and not a joy to be around at all. Our lack of sleep made us just as irritable, and of course that made life just all around miserable for everyone. 

This year (knock on wood) the change has been uneventful. In fact- he spent the night with his grandparents Saturday night- so he wasn't even home for the initial change over. I was VERY worried about this. But when I called on Sunday morning,Grandma said he slept all night,and only drank about half of what we refer to as "magic juice" a juice/melatonin/clonidine cocktail he gets every night at 7:00 PM. He then slept until 9:00 A.M.- which was actually 8:00- so his body clock was actually right on time.  We were thrilled, but of course, the skeptical little devil on my shoulder was telling me it was a fluke, and come Sunday night and Monday morning we were going to have a battle royale. 

But to my surprise and supreme happiness- he went to bed right on time last night- even though it was still light out- and slept ALL NIGHT LONG!  No wandering, no up in the middle of the night watching TV, no sneaking to the kitchen for a snack. When I woke him for school this morning, I was prepared for Cranky McCrankypants to make an appearance and the morning to be a roller coaster ride.  But- aside from the ritual of dad carrying him downstairs and depositing him on the couch- it was a "normal" morning. He was tired, slow to get moving- but who isn't on a Monday? Especially a dreary, rainy Monday like we have today. 

We prepare for WWIII at all holidays, family gatherings, family outings and yes for Daylight Savings Time. And not so much as a whimper (ok- may a little whimpering). But NOTHING like the last 7 years. I cannot tell you how excited I am- and for those parents with kiddos on the spectrum- you know this is a HUGE thing!   

I think he is getting a little more mature, and the fact that he LOVES his calendar and knew this was coming made the difference. I really don't know and I really don't care. Whatever the reason for such an uneventful change of the clocks is irrelevant. It happened- and I am not going to question it.   I am going to revel in the "normalcy" of it all- and then I am going to take a nap.

Sippy Cups Anonymous

There are a few stages that all parents go through with their kids- usually at about the same time. One being The Sippy Cup.  This magical transition from bottle to cup, baby to toddler, a milestone to be recorded in the baby book and calls placed to all your family and friends touting your BIG KID'S accomplishment! (Unless of course it's kid # 3 or #4- in which case it's just a blip on your radar.)

The ONLY sippy cup I want in my house

 My oldest and middle kids both graduated to sippy cups between 1.5 and 3 (YES THREE..SHUT UP!). Teenzilla had a harder time than The Oldest, she was  is a very stubborn little girl.  The Oldest- he did pretty well giving his bottle up- a few tears, some back sliding when Nana would give in- but he was done with the bottle right at 2 years old- big round of applause for me! ( just kidding- really) Now Teenzilla- that was a nightmare. We did the water only in the bottle and what she really wanted to drink in the sippy- which she promptly responded to by hurling the cup as hard as she could. We let her cry it out - and she could cryandcryandcryandcry- her will was MUCH  

stronger than mine. She was well over 2 years old before she was completely "bottle broke" GASP! 

 Nowadays if you don't have your baby off a bottle, drinking from a sippy and feeding themselves BEFORE 2 years old- you are a horrible parent and you are destroying your child's teeth, creating speech problems and attachment issues.  I personally think that's all a load of bullshit- but that's me. 

Now there is The Boy. He is 9. He will be 10 in July. And he still drinks from a sippy cup. Oh- I could blame it all on the autism, I could say he has a hard time drinking from a regular cup ( he kind of does- he prefers straws all the time) but really - it is all about the meds he takes.  He started taking medication to help him sleep at 3 years old. Because up until then HE DIDN'T SLEEP.  So after the autism diagnosis- he was prescribed Clonidine - or rather it's generic equivalent- Catapres- which put him to sleep.

Initially we would crush it up and feed it to him in pudding. Then he started giving foods up he used to love, pudding being one of them, and caught on to us trying to feed him the crushed up meds in anything else. He quickly wised up to the "It's sprinkles" lie. So then- because we had liked  being able to sleep again- we decided to crush it to a fine powder and put it in juice. In a sippy cup. Yes, at night. Because- along with the bottle I finally got rid of at 3 years old, he also gave up drinking milk. No chocolate milk, no soy milk....no milk at all.  So watered down apple juice it was. 

Yup- this looks like ours

And now-even though The Mister swears he knows he takes medication-he gets a sippy cup with juice in the morning for the ADHD meds, and one at night for the Catapres.  We have had the same 2 Spongebob sippy cups for about 4 years now- and I refuse to buy more.  But until he can either A) Swallow a pill or B) Be persuaded to take the meds  crushed up in ice cream or something he likes I feel we are stuck.  

My biggest fear is that one of his classmates will find out about it. That is NOT the way I want him to give it up.  My heart is pre-broken just thinking about that disaster.   Now I need MY sippy cup....