What's that holiday between Halloween and Christmas?

It's November- time for family, and being thankful, and of course time to start thinking about Christmas.... NO!!! 

This year Christmas was starting before Halloween!  I really hate that. Let me eat my turkey and pumpkin pie dammit!  Going into a store and hearing Christmas carols BEFORE Thanksgiving makes me want to punch an elf.  I know I am not alone.  As much as I love the holiday season- I really, really hate that it starts so damn early.

So in the spirit of upcoming Turkey Day- here are a couple of  Thanksgiving Carols...I am sure you can figure out the tunes on your own. Enjoy!  

A THANKSGIVING SONG

Tur-KEY roasting on an open fire,

Gravy cooking on the stove.

Thanksgiving carols being sung by a fire,

Our eyes as big as Oreos.

Everybody knows some turkey and some cranberries

Help to make the season bright.

Tiny tots with their eyes all aglow

Will find it hard to sleep tonight.

They know Thanks-GIHHHHVVV-ing’s on its way,

And that means lots of white and dark meat on a tray.

And every mother’s child is gonna try

To see if they can eat everything on the table and not die.

And so I’m offering this simple phrase

For kids from 1 to 92.

Although it’s been said, many times, many ways,

Merry Turkeyday

Tooooooooooooooooooooo

You.

THANKSGIVING

I’m dreaming of a Thanks-giving

Just like the ones I used to know.

Where the turkeys glisten

And children listen

To hear someone at the do’.

I’m dreaming of a Thanks-giving

With every mouthful that I bite.
 May your days be merry and bright.

                                         And may all your Thanksgivings-es 

                                                        be all right.

Here's hoping that you will be singing these LOUDLY the next time you are in a store that insists on Christmas carols too damn early.  Who knows, maybe it will catch on! 

Autism hates Daylight Savings Time

Ahhh- it's that time of year, the time when we "spring forward" and gain extra daylight, anticipate the arrival of spring and most importantly LOSE AN HOUR OF SLEEP! In an autism household- sleep is a precious commodity, one that is horded like fine jewels or Nutella.  Nighttime wanderings, odd sleep schedules and the like is something that most parents with kids on the spectrum endure. Melatonin is the Autism parent's best friend. But when those clocks change-  at either time of the year- it can send our kids into a tailspin that can take a whileto recover from.

The Boy, like most autistic children, NEEDS structure and routine. He doesn't like abrupt changes in plans, although as he gets older that seems to be getting a little better.  But when things don't go as they should- in his mind anyway- it is prime time for massive frustration, irritability and possible meltdowns. The time change   is not just an inconvenient part of life for him. Having extra daylight means absolutely nothing.  The clock on the wall and his internal clock are now different. While his body (and the Melatonin) are telling him one thing- his dad and I are telling him something different- and it messes him up. 

In years past- the time change has been a source of agitation for the whole family. We have to adjust dinner time, medicine time and try to ensure that the first day of the time change he is resting, relaxing and hopefully prepared the following morning for school.  I can't count how many all nighters we pulled (melatonin and Clonidine would get him to dreamland, but would not keep him there.) He was moody, over tired, and not a joy to be around at all. Our lack of sleep made us just as irritable, and of course that made life just all around miserable for everyone. 

This year (knock on wood) the change has been uneventful. In fact- he spent the night with his grandparents Saturday night- so he wasn't even home for the initial change over. I was VERY worried about this. But when I called on Sunday morning,Grandma said he slept all night,and only drank about half of what we refer to as "magic juice" a juice/melatonin/clonidine cocktail he gets every night at 7:00 PM. He then slept until 9:00 A.M.- which was actually 8:00- so his body clock was actually right on time.  We were thrilled, but of course, the skeptical little devil on my shoulder was telling me it was a fluke, and come Sunday night and Monday morning we were going to have a battle royale. 

But to my surprise and supreme happiness- he went to bed right on time last night- even though it was still light out- and slept ALL NIGHT LONG!  No wandering, no up in the middle of the night watching TV, no sneaking to the kitchen for a snack. When I woke him for school this morning, I was prepared for Cranky McCrankypants to make an appearance and the morning to be a roller coaster ride.  But- aside from the ritual of dad carrying him downstairs and depositing him on the couch- it was a "normal" morning. He was tired, slow to get moving- but who isn't on a Monday? Especially a dreary, rainy Monday like we have today. 

We prepare for WWIII at all holidays, family gatherings, family outings and yes for Daylight Savings Time. And not so much as a whimper (ok- may a little whimpering). But NOTHING like the last 7 years. I cannot tell you how excited I am- and for those parents with kiddos on the spectrum- you know this is a HUGE thing!   

I think he is getting a little more mature, and the fact that he LOVES his calendar and knew this was coming made the difference. I really don't know and I really don't care. Whatever the reason for such an uneventful change of the clocks is irrelevant. It happened- and I am not going to question it.   I am going to revel in the "normalcy" of it all- and then I am going to take a nap.

Be My Valentine♥ Oh hell- let's just have sex.

Be my sexy Valentine

Whether you're cynical or a hopeless romantic, most of us feel a collective sense of sexual anticipation (obligation?) surrounding Valentine’s Day. It's one of those sexually charged holidays, right up there with birthdays and anniversaries - you're just SUPPOSED to have sex to celebrate.

Am I the only one who thinks this is kind of weird? Feeling obligated to give it up because it's a holiday supposedly for lovers- that is NOT how it should feel.  I'm not even sure who I'm obligated to - me? My husband? St. Valentine? Hallmark?

What do you think? Will you be having sex tomorrow? Do you feel any sense of obligation? What other romantic gestures will you make?  Maybe just some cuddling is in order. Maybe a favorite movie, or a nice dinner. There are a lot of ways to show love and affection without the pressure of having to have sex, but any one of which could lead to getting sweaty in the bedroom after the kids are asleep.

Maybe it is my killer PMS talking. Maybe it is the fact my hubby will be working. I  guess I will have to be happy making heart shaped pizza and having strawberry milkshakes for dessert with my kiddos.  Maybe my mister will pick up a bottle of my favorite pink bubbly as a surprise. (I know you are reading this honey- so that is a not so subtle hint!) 

 In any case- my Valentine of 15 years knows I love him, and I know he loves me. So here's to the lovers, new and established. I hope you all have a nice, romantic happy day tomorrow. I know I will- no matter what!

Autism and the HoliDAZE

Not quite awake- or overwhelmed?

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! I would say I hope I didn't offend anyone - but I really don't care if I did. If I said- "Hey- your mother blows goats" then yes- if you weren't offended I would be worried about you. But Merry Christmas?? That is what I celebrate- that is what I wish you and if you don't like it- I will hold some mistletoe over my ass and you can kiss it, ok?


Now- back to the intended subject of this blog- The Holidaze and Autism... two things that don't often mix well. The rushing, the loud music, the winter clothes, the crowds, new foods can all be a sensory NIGHTMARE for the child with Autism. Meltdowns are more likely to happen during this time of year- and with all of the other things going on it is VERY easy as a parent to get overwhelmed ourselves. So here are some things that we have found helps us out this crazy time of year...and being blessed with a child who has High Functioning Autism, we have it easier than some folks. But these tips can be helpful for ANY child and frazzled parent. So here goes...


1)This time of year is filled with meeting new people and the social stresses of being polite, and thanking people for gifts can put a BIG strain on a kiddo on the spectrum. Social stories are AMAZING helpers - but so is a willingness as parents to be understanding, TRY and limit interactions that involve a lot of new people and settings.  Don't do too much on any one day, if possible- limit things to one event a day. And if at all possible- try to entertain at your house- this gives your child a safe environment where expectations are  understood.


2)Schedules tend to change A LOT this time of year. And as I am sure any parent of an autistic child will tell you, schedules and predictability are VITAL in keeping the peace. . Try and keep the daily schedule as close to "normal" as possible. Institute chill out time if possible.Try and include (if and when appropriate) your kiddos in the process. Put events on a calendar just for them- then remind them as time gets closer- it helps to take the mystery out of something new- as they can get ready by watching the count down. Each morning, share that day's schedule with the kids, and only that day's schedule. Don't worry about tomorrow or next week.  Again- SOCIAL STORIES!! Can't say enough about them!

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3)Sensory issues during the holidays - where to begin? New foods, new textures, new sounds....it can be a veritable mine field for a autistic child.  Some things that might help are Keep clothes soft and comfortable,

( this is particularly hard for me as I am the "Let's get dressed up" mom). Serve a favorite at meals, or have them eat before. This is a cardinal rule in our house- nothing worse than a hungry kid ANY kid. Don't force hello's and goodbyes- this is a chaotic time with a lot going on- forcing the issue is NOT in anyone's best interest!  Crowded malls bring out the worst in people- imagine not having the ability to filter all of the noise, touching, lights and loud people- you would meltdown too!! try and shop without then kid - you will BOTH be better off! 

4) Make sure family and friends are well informed about your child's "quirks". What might be mistaken as obnoxious or rude behavior is more than likely just a part of your autistic child's personality. Seeing the world in black and white can be a blessing and a curse. Especially around the holidays when we might be interacting with people that we don't see often, and who may not always be on our top 10 list. Make sure guests are aware that your kid may need a break- and they are walking away without answering because they feel overwhelmed, not because they are being a brat. Or ( especially in our house) the kiddo answering a question or engaging in conversation that is COMPLETELY about dinosaurs- just smile and nod- we will take care of it when it seems to be out of control.

5)Find ways that your kid can help to make the holidays their own. Baking, decorating, setting the table, helping with Christmas cards- be as creative as you can. This is an amazing tradition builder as well as making Christmas with Autism a good time for all. 

So whether it is a Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah,  Happy Kwanzaa, Blessed Yule or Merry Jar of Dirt for you- I hope some of these will help.   And please- by all means wish me a Happy/Merry/Blessed  whatever- I promise not to be offended.... just leave my mother out  of it.

Give us a kiss!

Merry Grinchmas..oops I mean Christmas- maybe

Most people (myself included) go over the top during the holidays – over-committing, over-consuming and overwhelming themselves with expectations and commitments.  Instead of feelings of peace,love and goodwill, people (myself included often find themselves tired, cranky and powered by guilt. Their faces start to scrunch up into that Grinch-like scowl and fun is the last thing on their minds. Taking care of the never-ending to-do list becomes the number one priority. Then before they know it, the holidays have come and gone and January leaves them asking, “Is that all there is?”

This year is no exception for me. Every year we say the same thing- we are getting one big i.e. expensive gift for all three kids and then some little stuff. And every year I go overboard on presents, and then have horrid buyers remorse. I stress out over  a very expensive dinner I host for the in-laws, I stress out over presents I should have gotten for special people in my life, I stress out over baking cookies (a tradition I try so hard to make fun but end up failing miserably) I stress out over the family Christmas extravaganza and the gifts for that, I stress out over EVERYTHING- which is so not the meaning of Christmas.  This year I have the added stress of  working two jobs and trying to do everything else in between...it's a wonder I don't keel over from a heart attack.

All I want is for everybody to be happy, to enjoy their vacations, love their presents and create lasting memories that do not involve mom crying over her wine glass. That isn't a lot to ask is it?  So I have decided that I am going to STOP! Now that it is 3 days before the BIG EVENT, I am going to relax, do what I can and not worry about what I didn't do.  At least I am going to try. You know the Grinch figured out that the holidays are about intangible things. Sure, ribbons and papers and bows are nice, but after a while stuff is just stuff.

Merry Christmas Everybody!