It's a blog- not an open invitation to tell me how effed up I am

There are a bajillion blogs out there. There are blogs about kids, booze, food, technology, families....the list goes on and on and on and on ad infinitum. I personally read several blogs religiously. Moms Who Drink and Swear,  Dad v. Autism  ( my hubby ♥), Life With Penis People, Mary Tyler Mom, Counting Caballeros, Shit Your Mother Never Told You, Apples and Autobots, Little White Lion, ....are just a VERY small sampling of what I personally read. I keep up on the autism blogs, of which there are many, and mine of course is a hodge podge of autism, parenting, friends, daily life, blah, blah, blah.  Hell, I even wrote about wishing I had done more Kegels for shit's sake....

I may not agree with every single thing I read - even on my favorites- but I do not make it my personal mission to send anybody a private message telling them how fucked up they are, to decry their character or morals, or to just spew hate.   And I really do NOT get people that do.  Bloggers are opening themselves up, creating stuff that matters to them- and hoping it will matter to others as well. Whether it's political, whimsical, informative or funny, it is ALL a matter of opinion- and that leaves us vulnerable. We hope to inspire, but we also open ourselves up to criticism, both constructive and unfortunately destructive. 

I am not holding a gun to YOUR head right now. I am not forcing you to read this. You CHOSE to read my somewhat intelligible rantings. My writing is not filled with subliminal messages {{{read this blog or else you will break out in boils and develop syphilis}}  forcing the average person to read.  And while I welcome feedback, similar stories, and disagreement (done in an intelligent manner) I will not give credence to sad people who think they have to say horrible awful things to build themselves up.  

For instance- in my blog Must love dogs. Well Screw That! I wrote about our misfortunes with owning dogs. I received so many venomous, hate filled nasty comments- it just blew me away. I laughed a lot of it off- each to his own right? But people were actually calling my parenting skills into question- really? Don't even go there! Here is one example:

I have to say that I am appalled by the way you have treated those poor defenceless animals. And I'm even more appalled that you seem to think that the way you have behaved is acceptable. You left your family pet with a humane society and do not even care about whether or not it's still alive? And you are about to do it again? I am ashamed to belong to the same species as you. I'm almost surprised that you didn't give up your son when it turned out he was autistic, just in case he turned out to be too much work for you! I really hope that when you become old and senile and start shitting yourself that your children dump you in a nursing home. Because they will have learned from you that getting rid of something that has become an inconvience is perfectly ok.

This one really pissed me off. But then- I took a deep breath and decided it was absolutely pointless and ridiculous to get pissed off, much less argue with someone like this ( even though I DID have some choice things to say!)  This person had an opinion- and even though they were unable to present their opinion in a matter that didn't try to bring me down, it was still their OPINION...and unfortunately, any asshole can have one of those. 

When out perusing the blogosphere- remember that a million different personalities have millions upon millions of opinions and write about them.NOBODY  is forcing anyone to read or agree with ANYTHING.  You may not like or agree with them all. But it is not license to be nasty, bitchy, hateful or even threatening to the writer.  Haters: Try writing your own blog- put yourself out there and see what happens.  

So the moral of the story is- read my blog, have an opinion, share a comment, similar story, helpful advice or even criticism- I can take it! Just remember- I am putting myself out there- both for my own enjoyment and because I hope that something I say may resonate with someone else and dare I say help someone out. But more than that- I may be the one getting help or advice. I am an autism mom - I can use all the help I can get.

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Road Trip!

As promised- here is the next installment in the "One Time In Chicago" series. But I am lazy and tired and unfocused- so the "series" may be just this one blog....

Candy Ass and I getting ready to go!

 So- the original plan was to take the train from Detroit to Chicago. Then shit happened and it turned out that my fellow Mom Who Drinks and Swears Candice  would be flying in and then renting a car and we would just drive there. Saving me some $$$ and giving us time to bond!

And bond we did- the drive from Detroit to Chicago is a little over 4 hours. Not too bad. But- Candice was buying a car- it was in Illinois and we were going to take a slight detour so she could go see and drive it. Cool- we didn't have time constraints- other than just being insanely excited to meet the rest of these  foul mouth, booze, swilling mamas.

Our detour took us off the freeway onto the surface roads- where we saw a terrible car accident, got stuck at a four way stop that apparently threw every single driver into a complete tail spin and then finally to her new car! ( which WAS a Mercedes- drove like a dream and the ass who worked at the dealership sold it out from under her...)

Night vision drunkenness!

The add in an interesting trip through Joliet Illinois- which we couldn't figure out if it was ghetto or nice- so we just settled on Ghetto Fabulous- a stop for night vision goggles and then a very round about trip to the hotel and we had ARRIVED!! 7 HOURS LATER!!! 

Meeting all of these women after having been friends online for over a year was so amazing- words seriously cannot express it. I have never hugged so many people in such a short amount of time It was HEAVEN!!

Oh Nikki you're so fine!

Then off to the rooms for cocktails- and I finally got to meet the crazybeautiful genius that started MWDAS..Mizz Nikki herself! We hugged like long lost sisters -( which is what all of these women have become to me- sisters)

The rest of the weekend is a semi blur of drinking, planking, singing, dancing, swimming and talking talking talking! I have never felt so comfortable with a group of essential strangers- and can't imagine life without them in it now.  

Outback Parking lot Plank!

Pool Table Plank!

Who the fuck are you?!?!

All of these women- together for a whole weekend- and not ONE OUNCE OF DRAMA! NONE!! That is how easy it was. It is truly inexplicable. 

So to my honey badgers- CALM THE FUCK DOWN.  We will see each other next year - count on it! 

Moms Who Drink and Swear saved my life!

You know THAT mom. The one at the store who smiles at everything, speaks to her rowdy children in that sweet little voice and gives you that sad look when you yell at your own demon spawn for knocking that display over. The one who feeds her kids only organic, never eats sugary snacks and prepares a 4 course dinner every night for her perfect family. The mom whose idea of indulgence is a sip of Chardonnay at the husbands company party. The mom who would never dream of working outside the home and devotes every second to her over indulged children all while looking down her nose at the rest of us.  She never has that faint scent of vomit and Fruit Loops about her, and her clothes and hair are impeccable.  They are everywhere- Stepford wife/moms who would rather eat their own hand then raise their voice to their darling progeny.   I am NOT that mom.

I love all of my children. They are amazing creatures that blow my mind  on a regular basis. But they also drive me BONKERS!! There are days that I seriously can't take anymore of the whining, messy fighting, crying reality that is children. And I have lost it on more than one occasion and dropped a f-bomb (or three) in front of them.   And then one night a little over a year ago- while learning the intricacies of Facebook I came upon a page titled "Moms who Drink and Swear".Now I can't remember exactly HOW I came across it- but after reading the description I immediately was hooked.   The first few posts had me laughing so hard I almost spilled my wine. Here were moms who were bitching about changing diapers, messy kids, bratty teens, less than helpful husbands, cellulite, kids TV  and everything in between! There were posts about what juice box is the best mixer for vodka and posts about drinking the last of the booze in the house. And the f-bombs! These moms- they were REAL. Their kids were loved and taken care of, but they told the simple truth- kids can be a giant pain in the ass!  And they would never utter those words to their kiddos-  but now they had somewhere to go and say EXACTLY what was on their mind- with no fear of judgment.  I had found my Mecca and I HAD to know more!!

What's this? There is a whole website too? www.momswhodrinkandswear.com. The headline read -Do you indulge in an adult beverage once in awhile after a long hard day of mommin?  Have you dropped the f-bomb in front of the kids? This is website is for you.  It comes equipped with blithering blogging from a mom who gets it. This is a site for real moms with real humor and great love for their families who are not afraid to speak the truth. 

                                                    Relax Mom, welcome home! 

I was immediately hooked on the snarky, sharp tongued wit of the owner and devoured everything on the site. From then on, every day I was checking in to the Facebook page, reading posts, commenting and commiserating with others, posting my own rants and laughing.  I shared the website with my friends and told everyone I knew about this amazing phenomenon called MWDAS!   I started reading "Nikki's Blithering Blog" and have been blown away every time I read it. It has brought me to tears, it has made me laugh till I peed my pants, it has made me do research and learn about things previously unheard of.

I was relating to so many of these funny women and I was getting new friends daily.  I soon  discovered that many of these foul mouth, booze swilling mama's had children with special needs, like me.  I started talking with some of these women outside of Facebook, via email, and soon phone conversations began as well. I am proud to say that I can also call the amazing founder of this group a close friend too.  Nikki is an inspiration- she was my inspiration to begin writing this blog. We have many of the same issues with our kids and I can call and talk to her about anything! (It is a bit disconcerting to hear that tiny little voice drop an f-bomb the first time!)   She is smart, funny, and has a heart as big as the universe.  It is through her brainchild that I have made some dear friends- sight unseen! We have so much in common- and I have to believe there was a higher power guiding her in this venture- because I have honesty met a handful of kindred spirits that I treasure as much as my closest and dearest friends.

Thank you Nikki and thank you Moms Who Drink and Swear- I am not adrift in a sea of pearl clutchers any longer! Cheers!