If you don't believe in pity parties, feeling sorry for yourself etc. well bully for you. Go spout some motivational catch phrases elsewhere and let me wallow. I am only human and I feel the need to rage against the universe and bitch for a bit. If this isn't for you- then move along- I really won't be offended. I'll just drink more wine. Well, actually coffee that I desperately wish was spiked with Baileys.
So let's look at the list of reasons I am throwing this shindig today
1) My husband took a second job that requires him to work all fucking weekend. This was a CHOICE mind you- supposedly going to help finances. While I have yet to reap the benefits of this, I have certainly become a lot more irritated. Even when I put aside being a bitch for a minute and see that he doesn't really want to do it either- it seems to be a losing situation all around- so don't do it..mkay? But if I say that to him, then I am Queen Selfish Bitch, and I play that role all to often. But right now I am feeling very disconnected from my marriage and my husband and I am not sure if a couple hundred bucks extra a month is worth it.
2)My job is now going to require me to stay until 6:00 every night since someone quit. Normally this wouldn't be an issue- because the mister would come pick The Boy up and Teenzilla wouldn't be alone for so long in the afternoons and dinner would be served at a decent hour. But since he will be working 2 nights a week - The Boy stays with me, dinner will be late (anything past 6:00 is late for me- especially on a school night)
3)I missed out on any kind of Valentines Day. Yup- hubby was working. I don't want much, I mean I did get some cool cookie sheets which I asked for, but I was kind of hoping to at least get taken out to dinner...but because of this job sitch- that ain't happening.
4) I have been on this insane creative cooking spree- wanting to try new things, new ingredients and all that. The Boy eats NOTHING. So, to make sure his scrawny ass gets something to eat, I cook separate dinners- something I swore I would never do again after the oldest was spoiled my his nana in the exact same way. Took forever to break him! But it is what it is, and I just hope with age and continued effort on my part- he will eventually start at least tolerating something new on his plate.
5) I have applied for 62 scholarships in the last 3 months. I also applied for my FAFSA. No word on any of the scholarships yet, FAFSA said I qualify for up to 10K in loans that the University of my choice would apprise me of. I see so many friends finishing college and I am happy for them, yet jealous as well. And I hate for my happiness for my friends to be tainted with petty jealousy. I am feeling my almost 39 years and am starting to think I am just too fucking old for this shit.
*The bright spot in all this gray? In 5 days I am going to get to see some amazing friends. Candice, Nikki, Danielle, and Rene- I can't WAIT for our weekend of debauchery. You really have no idea!
