Holy crap! My daughter is shaving her head!

You know a year ago, when my Teenzilla said she was going to shave her head for St. Baldrick's, raise money for pediatric cancer research, and in memory of Donna Hornick, I indulged her. As parents we all do this, our kiddos say they are going to do something BIG, or something CRAZY and we smile and humor them, knowing that the fancies of kids, especially teenagers are fleeting.

Now we are 5 days away from the shave event, and she has not wavered once. At least not out loud, or in front of me. Her conviction is strong, her ideals are overwhelming, and her passion is that which only teenage girls have.

But, until the other night, when talking to my dearest childhood friend, I had not thought about how I felt about it. Other than knowing without a doubt that I could never do it, I have only really felt fierce pride in my girl. But now it's stuck in my head, all the feelings that I have not even thought about. My baby girl is going to be BALD.  BALD. A part of me cringes at the thought of my very pretty daughter not having hair- I mean, isn't hair one of the ways how we females define ourselves. If we have a bad hair day, it really puts a damper on the rest of our day. If we get a bad cut or color, it really upsets us. Unfortunately, we live in a society that bases everything on how we look. If we are overweight we must be a slob. If we choose not to wear makeup we must be a hippie. If we do something out of the ordinary to our hair (like when Teenzilla went shocking pink) there are stares and judgmental asshats to contend with.  And being a teenager?? In high school?  Fuggedaboutit.

I have been told "I can't believe you are LETTING her shave her head. she is going to be teased so badly"  Letting her?? No- this is HER decision. This is not some whim of a fickle teen girl- this is for an amazing cause, something bigger than she is. It takes guts and heart to do what she is going to do. It's amazing, it's life changing, and not only am I "letting" her do it, I am her loudest supporter! But there is the part of me that is scared for her, and worries about any teasing or bullshit she will have to endure. She is a strong kid, a good kid, but I don't know if she has, or if she is even able to really process what going bald means. Aside from the amazing sense of doing something awesome that is.  I don't pull any punches- I have told her repeatedly, people are going to stare. People will make comments, and not all of them will be nice. She says "Bring it on". I hope that attitude stays intact- she's gonna need it. I am very nervous about the reactions, and most of all, how my girl will handle it. It's gonna be hard. Oh- and did I mention she is also in the schools Spring production of Cinderella?  Yeah- she is going to be in the spotlight- shiny bald head and all. Well- she will wear a wig...but still!

I have caught myself reminiscing about her hair when she was little, long, curly and beautiful. She cut it off in first grade for Locks of Love, and I cried. Not in front of her, and I cried not only because she cut off all her hair, but because even at the tender age of 6, she had a big heart. And....she wanted to have a haircut like Dora the Explorer! I have always been the mom who encourages trying different things, from wardrobe to hair. Especially hair, after all, it does grow back. And I can't say I have loved every hair decision she has made, but I raised her this way- and she is her own person- and a damn good one at that. I get compliments all the time, what a great kid I have, and what a great mom I am, having raised such a great kid. And I will take credit for raising her to be the way she is, but she deserves the lion's share- she is not a little girl, she is a beautiful, funny, smart young woman who made this choice all on her own.


Today, I had a comment on my FB page- and I just have to share:

A year ago Jan, I had to shave all my hair off for a brain surgery. My hair was to my boohiney, I braided it, cut those 5 thick, long braids off & donated them as well...as the clippers inched their way over my scalp, I felt a new me emerge! At first it felt like my identity was being stripped from my grasps, I felt naked, vulnerable & honestly, a little lost! I think it was harder on my best friends than it was for me! Then a saying came to mind as tears were streaming down my face "If you don't like something...Change it...if you can't change it...Change the way you think about it!" That's what I did, changed how I thought about it! I began to think of the process of the wigs being made, the ladies that would receive them (I had THICK, long hair so def made at least 2 wigs! ), how it would effect their lives forever & suddenly I had peace! Sure people stared at me where ever I went, women (most of them!) were THE worst & the men were surprisingly wonderful! I received A LOT of compliments & support! Im not sure why Teenzilla is shaving her hair, sounds like its just for donating it & that is plain AMAZING!! I want to thank you, as her parents, for raising such an AMAZING daughter!! Thank you! As I would tell myself, its just hair & it grows back! It did in fact change me, it strips you down to your core & thankfully I had been working on myself in order to become my best self before having to be naked, vulnerable & bald in front of the world, I was taught to be comfortable with WHO I am not the identity of my long, thick hair! Bald ROCKS!! Rock it out Teenzilla!! I will be bald agn soon, another brain surgery, you what tho! I GOT THIS & BRING IT ON!! P. S. she will be really cold, a friend made me the best beanie ever & it became my favorite accessory! Go beanie shopping before or make one with one of those knitting looms (WalMart $13) and she can pick her color of yarn! Rock it out Momma & Teenzilla! YOU got this & BRING IT ON! Much Love! -Nicole Johnson

While she is not donating her hair, the money she has raised, that all goes back to St. Baldrick's and the solidarity for those who don't have the choice to go bald or not- it's mind boggling to me. 

And once again, I have to thank the indomitable Mary Tyler Mom for sharing her beautiful Donna's story with us.  The sad reality that is childhood cancer, and the lives taken much too soon has a face, a name, a story, and is not just another sad statistic for us.  It's amazing how one family's story changed our perception in such a huge way.

Please check out the links here, about St. Baldrick's, about Teenzilla  and share!

St. Baldrick's
I'm shaving my head!
Rylee's Donation Page
Michigan's Team Donna's Good Things

Bring on the IEP!

Springtime brings a lot of wonderful things, sun, new beginnings,and  longer days just to mention a few. If you have a child who receives Special Ed services in school, it is also IEP season. That time of year when you sit in a room, surrounded by those who are supposed to be helping your child be all they can be, reviewing goals, setting new ones, perhaps transitioning to new schools (like we will be- middle school YIKES).  The IEP is supposed to be an  opportunity for teachers, parents, school administrators, related services personnel, and students (when appropriate) to work together to improve educational results for children with disabilities. If you are lucky enough to be working as a TEAM and not fighting tooth and nail for any and all accommodations your child needs. 

Courtesy of http://www.kidstogether.org/parentside.htm

I remember the first time I  walked into a meeting room filled with those who proclaimed to know what was best for The Boy (educationally speaking anyway) and feeling intimidated and so much  like the awkward girl that wanted to sit at the popular kids table, to the most recent encounter when I went in to do battle and was caught off guard at how easy it was to present MY goals and not be met with "we know best" attitude. Of course that was all blown to hell at the beginning of the year when I found myself fighting for the mainstream instruction that had so readily been agreed to just a few months prior.  It didn't take me long to learn that miles and miles of red tape surround our special children's education, and that really, the IEP really is a bullshit document. Oh sure, it's "legally binding" but the loopholes and confusing language really work in favor of the school and the district- NOT your kiddo. 

You never REALLY get what you think your   child needs and the services never seem to be quite enough. 

This is supposed to be about the CHILD's education,and the fact that kids CAN learn, and need to be challenged,  not written off, assuming they can't do something without ever trying.  It's not supposed to be a PRE-WRITTEN document that they slap down in front of you and then rush through everything and hand you a pen to sign it.  

It is supposed to be a commitment to a child, MY CHILD... not a number, or a budget. The living, breathing human being who has unlimited possibilities if given the proper support and tools. It shouldn't have to be this hard to secure our children a free appropriate education. 

I have followed all the major rules for successful meetings, and for a couple of years, I actually was happy to go to the meeting, talk with everyone and would leave feeling like things were accomplished, that The Boy was in good hands, that my concerns and ideas were listened to, and there was no pressure to sign a document if I had ANY kind of reservations. That changed when we moved The Boy back to his home school district  Great schools, if your child is average to above average.  Great schools if your child will do well on standardized tests. Not so great for the child with Autism. 

The biggest argument we have had the last two years is the argument for inclusion. Children with special needs CAN be accommodated within a regular education classroom. In our case especially. The Boy is high functioning. He has been shielded for so long, not given the chance to grow his potential. The lack of faith from teacher's and unwillingness to push him just a little bit harder has him doubting himself and his capabilities. The truth is ALL children benefit from the experience of an inclusive classroom, including the reduced child to staff ratio that makes it work. It's possible. And, it's right. It breaks my heart that there are thousands of children all across America being treated as second-class citizens because they are different.  They are in "special ed" they are "weird" they "can't learn". It's all bullshit I tell you. 

This year- we will be discussing the transition to middle school. I am beyond worried for The Boy. It is going to be a HUGE shock for him. The homework, the expectations- I foresee many, many meltdowns.  I have A LOT of info I am going to be breaking out, accommodations that I will INSIST on- and will sign NOTHING until these things are included.  Things like a "Early Pass"- getting to go to his next class just before the rest of the students, to avoid stress and bullying. A "safe place" to go in case of sensory overload. Reduced homework, use of the AlphaSmart, or the opportunity to use computers and printers for assignments with a lot of writing.  These are just a few of the things I will be insisting on.  Well, those and a big bottle of wine. 

Celebrate Donna Day 2013 with me!

This smile!

When I found Donna's Cancer story, I admit- I didn't want to read it. Not at all. I knew it was out there, I saw links to it every day in my Facebook news feed, but I didn't want to read what was sure to be a heart breaking, sad story. 

As I looked at my own kids, I told myself that I could never endure the story of a beautiful little girl living through 31 months of cancer treatment and the pain her family endured. I didn't want to get to know this family, only to lose a precious member of it. 

The day came, when I decided to just start reading. I had already saw several re-posts on my Facebook of  number 16 Relapse, and I started reading. And I didn't stop until I was caught up. And   And I cried. Ugly, snotty crying. And I kept reading, stopping only when I couldn't see the screen through my tears.  

 I have never felt such a connection, to Donna and to her family who until that day, were total strangers to me. Just another sad story of a child with cancer. But it was so much more.  I was blown away by the raw, honest beautiful way Sheila, aka Mary Tyler Mom, wrote about her daughter, her family, her fears, her hopes. This was written TO me, FOR me. This was written in such a way, I felt like I had been sitting with Sheila having coffee as she told me this story. That is powerful my friends.

The feelings evoked in me after reading Donna's story ran the gamut from sadness, to hope, to anger, to fear and to guilt. Guilt that my kids would be home for me to hug them, guilt that I complain about dealing with autism, about teacher's and IEP's. The same guilt I sometimes feel when I read a blog written by a parent dealing with a child who doesn't speak, when mine does.The Boy is autistic.He is not like the other kids. He may be a 7 year old in a 10 year old body. He may be wild, unpredictable and sometimes make me want to scream. But I get to  hold him every day. My struggles are a cake walk in comparison to what Sheila's family lived through, what Donna endured.  I was extremely humbled by Sheila's words in installment 30 Choosing Hope:

"When all of this began so long ago and I first typed the  words 'choose hope,' my guess is that most folks assumed the hope was for Donna's cure.  If I'm honest with myself, it probably was for a time, but as much as that mantra is for Donna, it was for me as well.  To remind myself that hope comes in many forms and, more importantly, it is a frame of mind, a choice one makes.  For so long, and to this day, it is the only way to live.  Without hope, how would I wake up in the morning?  Without hope, how do you continue to be with Donna, laughing and playing and so brightful, knowing that she will be gone much too damn soon? "

It is completely amazing to me how Sheila's family fought. How in the midst of it all they welcomed a new life into their family. How they coped,how they survived,how they “chose hope” in the face of such despair.

After hearing her dad and I talking about this amazing blog, my Teenzilla decided to read it too. Her reactions were filled with all the vehemence and anger that only teenage girls can muster. "F**K CANCER. What bullshit!"  

My Teenzilla

It was around that time that I first heard of the St. Baldrick's Foundation. St. Baldrick's began as a head-shaving event and continues to be the signature event of the Foundation. "Shavees" ask friends and family to make donations "on their head" and in return, they attend one of thousands of volunteer-organized events around the world where they have their heads shaved in solidarity with kids fighting cancer.mSince 2000 more than 230,000 shavees—including more than 22,700 women—have shaved their heads at 5,500 events, raising critical funds for childhood cancer research. 

I watched as several of my friends made their way to Chicago last year, and prepared to shave their heads. I donated and cheered them on. I followed their blogs and their Facebook pages. And I shared all of this with Teenzilla.  She looked at me after seeing all the pictures of the newly bald, and said, "I want to do that". I chuckled, and I said, yeah, right. She looked me straight in the eye and said- "I am serious mom. So many kids have to go through chemo and lose their hair and they don't have a choice. I want to do this. It's just hair. It will grow back."

I told her that I would support her 100% if she wanted to do this, but secretly I thought she would never do it. The next event was a year away- that was a lot of time to think about it. And being a fickle teen girl- I expected her to forget about it, and then change her mind.  

And now here we are, 17 days away from the event, a little over $1000 raised by her, just over $2000 raised by her team, Donna's Good Things Team Michigan and she, while a little nervous, is still as determined as ever. If I could bottle that passion- I would be a millionaire! 

What I need you to do now is: 1)READ DONNA'S STORY!  Statistics are scary- this story will make you see beyond the statistics, into the life of an amazing family, and a very precious little girl. You will BE in the hospital rooms with them, you will SEE Donna's gorgeous smile and amazing blue eyes, you will KNOW her love to dance, you will FEEL all the feelings. Do it. 

 2) Please please please visit, Donna's Good Things at Candlelite Chicago, and click on the GREEN BUTTON  to donate. $5, $10- it is ALL helpful and goes to an amazing cause.  

3) Watch this wonderful 3 minute video

4)Watch Donna's Radiothon story Song... 

And remember- visit Donna's Good Things at Candlelite Chicago and

CLICK THE GREEN BUTTON!!!

The Dreaded/Hoped For Snow Day

Woo-Hoo! Snow Day!

The Snow Day. Capitalized out of respect, it is a very complicated thing. Pretty much everyone, except parents, love them and wish for them.  But they are definitely a mystery to the everyday person.

What constitutes a Snow Day? Depending on where you live, a light dusting might be cause for panic and the immediate canceling of schools across the board. These are generally areas that don't get a lot of snow. Ever. If you are like me, and live in the Midwest, school only closes if you literally can't open your front door, because the snow is that deep.

We are in the light blue- 4-8 inches

So why do Snow Day's happen? Will we have one tomorrow? According to the weather the East Coast is going to get slammed with  2-4 FEET of wet heavy snow.Where I live in  Michigan, we are supposed to see a fraction of that, possibly up to 6 inches of wet, heavy, accumulating snow, with periods of sleet and freezing rain turning our roads into big icy slip and slides. Last year, they called school off for a supposed Snowmageddon that never happened. I am sure that mistake won't be made again.

The truth is, nobody really understands a Snow Day. With the exception of the weather person- and even then it's debatable.  The powers that govern school closings i.e The Superintendent, decide when and if schools will close, if the roads are too dangerous, teacher's can't make it in to teach, how many Snow Days a district has. (In our case we should have at least 3, we haven't used any as of yet).

Fun in the snow

Now you might be saying "WHY IN THE HELL DO YOU WANT A SNOW DAY?? DON'T YOU REALIZE THE KIDS WILL BE AT *GULP* HOME? WITH YOU??" Yes, yes I do, and I am perfectly o.k. with that. I mean, how can you NOT love a Snow Day. A Snow Day is basically Mother Nature looking down and saying, "Hey, everyone!  You can sleep in! And, guess what? No homework! Is that OK with you?" To which everyone always replies, "HECK YEAH!" For us, it  means a lazy day, watching TV, eating junk food, and chilling out. (literally). Depending on the temps, it probably means some great outside fun.  Yeah- it messes up The Boy's routine a little, but we can overcome that.  It means I don't have to go into work, The Mister will probably work from home and we all get a well deserved three day weekend.

So, I am going to share with you, what Teenzilla's kindergarten teacher shared with her class. A secret, tried and true method to get a Snow Day in 4 easy steps. Now, you do not have to do the ritual, either way, the nasty storm on it's way may decide for you. But, if you aren't sure, and you would really enjoy a day off of school/work/etc. then follow these steps- IN ORDER, or who knows what the outcome will be!

1)Wear your pajamas inside out. This will be even more effective if your pajamas have feet.

2)Flush  ice CUBES down the toilet. Remember, they must be CUBES, crushed ice won't work! (My theory about this is if the ground isn't frozen, snow won't stick, right? And the pipes in your toilet eventually go underground, right? And if your pipes get cold enough, than the ground will freeze, right? So, it stands to reason that if you flush enough ice cubes down your toilet, your pipes will be cold enough to freeze the ground so the snow will stick,  which will consequently render the roads DEATH TRAPS. Automatic snow day.)

3)A spoon, or a white FROZEN crayon under your pillow (I really don't get the reasoning behind this- but hey, whatever works!)

4) The obligatory snow dance. Kind of like a rain dance but with a lot more yelling, running in circles and BIG spazzy arms. Be careful of furniture and proximity to other people during this snow dance, you don't want to spend your Snow Day hurt or in trouble for breaking something. 

There you go. That should do it. And if for some bizarre reason these methods do not get you your Snow Day (pssshht, yeah, right) then at least you got to have some silly fun with your family, and THAT is the best possible outcome anyway.

P.S. I HAVE done this with The Boy- and we didn't get a Snow Day. Due to Autism's literalness, he wasn't a happy camper. This was two years ago. Now, he understands it is all in fun, and if we get lucky we will have a Snow Day.  Autism parents, you will know how much, if any of this will go over well in your house. 

Sorry Valentine's Day, I'm just not that into you...

I love, and I am dearly  loved, but Valentine's Day just isn't what it used to be for me anymore. No romantic dinners (unless you count eating the leftover heart shaped hamburgers the from the kids) no romantic evening out (unless you count running to the store together to buy wine), no declarations of endless love (unless you count the mumbled "I love you" as we roll over and go to sleep), no chocolates (unless you count the ones pilfered from the kids V-Day Party stash), no sexy lingerie (unless you count the one pair of underwear I can find that isn't falling apart, and of course my crippling low self esteem and endless stress about my doughy body)  no cutsey stuffed animals, (good!) silly "Sexy Coupon Books" (really, what are we, 20?) or anything that seems to go hand in hand with yet another mass marketed holiday.

Valentine's Day might have started as a day to celebrate love but nowadays it has become another day to force people to shop compulsively for things that they don’t need or they don’t want to buy in order to express their love. Don't get me wrong, I like gifts as much as the next person, but don't hold my hubby hostage to these "holidays" that are designed to make people feel like they HAVE to get something OR ELSE. I believe in love. But I hate to see how Valentine’s day has become another commercial festivity to sell flowers, chocolates, jewelry, cards with silly messages and stuffed animals. 

courtesy of sommecards

I’m all for doing fun stuff with my kids, and now that they are getting older, that is pretty much a thing of the past. No, now I get to hear my 14 year old Teenzilla go on about how Valentine's Day sucks, she doesn't have a BF and everything is stupid. I hear ya kid. It REALLY sucks to be a Freshman in high school, and watch all the commercial, contrived bullshit going on around you, and not be involved.   

I also hate to hear the competitiveness between women on Valentine’s Day. Someone bragging about their enormous bouquet of flowers, another one flashing the diamonds she got, while yet another one claims that her man really loves her because he never takes her out but tonight they are going to the best restaurant in the city. Doesn't she realize that it is only a Valentine’s Day marketing game, he never takes her out except on Valentine’s Day, and she is delighted. Poor girl!

Valentine's Breakfast 2012 

And contrary to the above, I am still a sappy girl,a romantic person, a dreamy girl who seems to have found her happily ever after. And when I say that I don't really care about Valentine's Day, people look at me like I am from Mars, assume I have a thoughtless husband, or think  I am just old to care anymore.  Most people do not understand how someone who is happy in a relationship doesn't gush all over Valentine's Day like a teenager experiencing their first "love". I am beyond all that. Not romance all together, but summing it all up in one day. I do fun little things, love notes in a lunch, sexy texts, favorite dinners, etc all the time. I may rev it up a little in February, but it's also my mister's birthday in February, so of course he gets a little extra attention.  

I have an ideal husband, who is a hopeless romantic and after almost 16 years, still tries to woo me on a daily basis. Work, school, and kids have made me tired, fussy and, well downright bitchy most of the time, and the fact that he still puts up with it is pretty damn awesome.  He doesn't ignore me until the 14th day of February rolls around and then attempt to shower me with romance and affection. I get Valentine's Day any time I want it, really.  And he is pretty damn lucky himself. I am not into jewelry, or expensive stuff, I am pretty low maintenance when it comes to gift giving. The only thing I DO ask, don't get me household appliances for V-Day. Any other gift giving occasion (well, except for our anniversary) is fine for those kinds of things. 

 If you feel like you HAVE to give me something, get me a bottle of my favorite wine, order out so I don't have to cook, and yes, heart shaped pizza IS acceptable or take me to MY choice of movies- NOT the new Die Hard either. Save that one for your birthday ♥

NOT a Valentine's Day movie

Giving up, giving in, or retreating for now. How Algebra is kicking my a$$.

WHAT?!?!!?

I went back to school last August. I incurred a mountain of student loan debt and was ready to finish my degree so I could finally teach. Things were going great, even if fast track online classes were making my head spin. Then came the class I have been avoiding for years. The class that is holding me back from finishing school. ALGEBRA.  I. HATE. IT. I do not understand anything beyond the very base level problems that require me to "Solve for x". What's worse,  I seem to be able to learn math skills,and have a low level of confidence,  and suddenly the information is just gone. POOF. Like it never existed. What in the hell is THAT about?

I thought it was just "math anxiety" which is a very real thing. Researchers at the University of Chicago  found that for people who get anxious at the idea of doing mathematics, just preparing to do a math problem can trigger activity in a part of your brain that registers physical pain. NO SHIT!!  When the subjects were asked to prepare to do a math problem, they showed significant activity in the posterior insula, an area deep in the brain that is associated with responding to threats and experiencing pain.

Yeah, that sounds about right. As a matter of fact, laying my hand on a hot stove burner is right up there on the list of "Things I Would Rather Do Than Math"  that, and stabbing myself in the eye with a pencil. Just thinking about this is giving me a math headache right now.

Where did that 0 come from?

I didn't do well with Algebra in high school, and now many, many years later- it is a million to the tenth power times worse. My brain seriously does not think in "theoretical" terms. Much like my son on the autism spectrum, I deal in concrete terms. If you give me a math problem, there should be a definitive answer. Not this bullshit, 6x+4y=15 where we are going to say y is 0 and x is 1. WHAT THE FUCK? Where did the 1 and 0 come from? How come making up numbers is ok? How is there a bazillion answers for one problem?? What the hell is a slope intersect and how do you graph it??  What is a function? WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING?!?

Not THIS Khan

For three weeks I have sat at my kitchen table, using the numerous resources at my disposal- the textbook, online tutors, The Khan Academy (which is not teaching me how to shake my fist and yell "KHAN" in my best William Shatner voice), Purple Math (which is geared towards middle school age kids), other students, The Mister, Teenzilla, Youtube videos- whatever I can get my hands on. I am averaging 18-20 hours a week on the homework and about that much sobbing and throwing things. I have lost sleep, I smoke like a chimney and my family hides from me.  This can't be simple "math anxiety" and with these fast track classes I do not have time to seek a possible diagnosis for Dyscalculia which  is a specific learning disability involving innate difficulty in learning or comprehending arithmetic. It is akin to dyslexia and includes difficulty in understanding numbers, learning how to manipulate numbers, learning maths fact, and a number of other related symptoms. (Wikipedia) 

ALGEBRAAAAA!!!

Learning is hard work, and it's easy to get lazy once you are out of school. This isn't the case. I am NOT lazy. I LOVE school. I have a 3.89 GPA right now. I AM intelligent. I just can't do math. Trying to see how algebra actually fits into my every day life is frustrating to say the least. This abstract crap does NOT fit into MY everyday life! I truly believe that I have no practical use for graphing inequalities.

NEVER going to need this

So what do I do? I have been TRYING so damn hard. I am truly doing the best I can. I hate to fail at ANYTHING- I have never felt so much like a failure than I do now. I do not have the time or financial resources available to re-take this class- much less an Algebra II class. I am ready to just give up. I mean- what would be any different if I fail and then take this class again? The understanding of Algebra isn't going to magically appear. And seriously, pushing 40 years old- taking 3-6 months off to get counseling and intensive tutoring just isn't going to happen. I am already at the edge of the curve to be hired- what with all the baby faced youngsters flooding the teaching profession.  

Someone commented on one of my many ravings on Facebook that I wouldn't want my kids to just see me give up. What they are seeing mom lose it daily, cry, snap at everyone and just be generally miserable. They are watching me sit at my kitchen table, asking for help, trying to do the work for HOURS on end to the exclusion of EVERYTHING else...sometimes even dinner. What they are seeing is mom doing her very, very best, and not "getting"it. Hard work is not something I am afraid of. Hard work with no reward and a big fat "F" is. 

Instead of calling it "quitting" I will call it a calculated retreat.  In the meantime,  if anyone needs me, I'll be under the covers with a glass of wine and some chocolate  ruminating on my failure. 

I choose......YOU!

I was very surprised and honored when I found out that The Mommy Ref nominated me for The Liebster Award!  I have been nominated for this once before, and it was just as big of a surprise- especially since I am such a lazy blogger!

So now it's my turn. Check out the "rules" for The Liebster Award and enjoy!

This award is given to new or up and coming bloggers who have less than 200 followers. The award is then passed along to other bloggers in the same category to help spread the word and support each other.

1. Each blogger should post 11 random facts about themselves.

2. Answer the questions the tagger has set for you, then create 11 new questions for the bloggers you pass the award to.

3. Choose 11 new bloggers (or with less than 200 followers) to pass the award to and link them in your post.

4. Go to their page and tell them about the award.

5. No tag backs.

11 Random Facts About Red Vines & Red Wine

•  ü  I have a fear of open closets.
  ü  I am afraid of thunderstorms
  ü  I am becoming increasingly OCD. Seriously, the glasses and coffee cups in the kitchen cabinet have to be “just so” or I get REALLY annoyed!
  ü  I like to eat saltine crackers with butter on them
  ü  My blog used to be called Ramblings of a Wineaux Mom. Drinking a glass of Sweet Red wine one night, I happened to eat a Red Vine. Then I decided to change the name!
  ü  I love Zombie movies, shows, books etc. Especially The Walking Dead
  ü  I have had an idea and rough outline for a children’s book for about 6 years.
  ü  I have been married for 15 years this July
  ü  I collect pigs. I LOVE pigs!
  ü  I love the movie White Chicks
  ü  I used to be a cheerleader. I really really love cheer. I coach pee-wee cheerleaders in the summer. Teenzilla hates it. I made her do it anyway. 
  
  
  Questions from The Mommy Ref
  
  
  
  
  1.  Why did you start to blog? I like to write, and I thought, what the hell? Then I started reading Moms Who Drink and Swear and that was it!  I wish I blogged more- I really need to be more disciplined about it. Right now though, school is taking up most of my time.
  
  
  2.  Do you have a story behind your kid(s) name(s)? My oldest is named after Meggie’s son in The Thorn Birds (Dane) Teenzilla was difficult, all of us started with “D” and I kind of wanted to stick with that- but I didn’t like any “D” names. The Mister woke me up at 1:00 in the morning about 3 weeks before she was due and said RYLEE! And so it was. The Boy, we both really liked Noah! Each of their middle names is a grandparent as well.
  
  
  3.  What is your favorite sit com? The Big Bang Theory, New Normal and Modern Family
  
  
  4.  Have you ever been to another country? Mexico and Canada. I went to Tijuana when I was in high school, and I live about 20 minutes from Windsor Canada. Only been there a couple of times though!
  
  
  5.  What is your favorite ice cream? Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough. YUMMMMM
  
  
  6.  What did you want to be when you grew up? A lawyer! I was going to go to NYU and live in New York. Getting preggers at 16 sidelined that!  I started teaching preschool when Teenzilla was 2, and never looked back. Now my goal is to teach special ed with a focus on ASD and implement an ASD program in our school district.
  
  
  7.  Are you allergic to anything? Walnuts- funny story- our wedding cake was made by my sister’s mother-in-law and was full of walnuts! I could only have a teeny tiny bite and even that made my tongue itchy
  
  
  8.  What state would you move to if you could? If I could afford it, I would move back to California. Temperate climate, we were right by the ocean, I loved it- except for the cost of living!
  
  
  9.  What is something you want to accomplish before 2013 is over? Lose 20 pounds and to get through these damn algebra classes without killing anyone!
  
  
   10. Who is your celebrity crush? Hmmm…. I guess I would have to say Nathan Fillion- he is so damn sexy, and funny. I bet he is amazingly cool in real life!
  
  
  11. What were you doing at 8am this morning? Shooing kids off to class as I left my part time job as a morning latchkey provider. 
  
  
     Questions from me to my nominees- you know- to stalk them better!
  
  
  1) Are you a Night Owl or Morning Person?
  2) What is/are your favorite book(s)?
  3) How many kiddos do you have?
  4) Why did you start a blog?
  5) What's your favorite junk food?
  6) What did you want to be when you grew up?
  7) If someone offered you $20 million dollars, but you had to give up one of your senses, would you? Which sense?
  8) What is your favorite movie? One that you will watch over and over and over?
  9) If you could change anything about yourself, what would it be?
  10) What is your favorite color?
  11) If it could be one season all the time, what would you pick? 
  
  
     
      and now MY PICKS for the Liebster Award- go check them out- they are awesome!
  
  
  Autism Sparkles
  Life With Legos
  The Mighty Mr. M vs Autism
  Dad v. Autism
  The Plucky Procrastinator
  Sooperdad Blog of Awesomeness
  PDD World
  Love That Max!
  Our Life in Pieces
  Me and My Professor
  The Neurotypical Mom
  
  
  Yep- pretty much all Autism related- but all wonderful blogs, and you should check them out!