Sorry Valentine's Day, I'm just not that into you...

I love, and I am dearly  loved, but Valentine's Day just isn't what it used to be for me anymore. No romantic dinners (unless you count eating the leftover heart shaped hamburgers the from the kids) no romantic evening out (unless you count running to the store together to buy wine), no declarations of endless love (unless you count the mumbled "I love you" as we roll over and go to sleep), no chocolates (unless you count the ones pilfered from the kids V-Day Party stash), no sexy lingerie (unless you count the one pair of underwear I can find that isn't falling apart, and of course my crippling low self esteem and endless stress about my doughy body)  no cutsey stuffed animals, (good!) silly "Sexy Coupon Books" (really, what are we, 20?) or anything that seems to go hand in hand with yet another mass marketed holiday.

Valentine's Day might have started as a day to celebrate love but nowadays it has become another day to force people to shop compulsively for things that they don’t need or they don’t want to buy in order to express their love. Don't get me wrong, I like gifts as much as the next person, but don't hold my hubby hostage to these "holidays" that are designed to make people feel like they HAVE to get something OR ELSE. I believe in love. But I hate to see how Valentine’s day has become another commercial festivity to sell flowers, chocolates, jewelry, cards with silly messages and stuffed animals. 

courtesy of sommecards

I’m all for doing fun stuff with my kids, and now that they are getting older, that is pretty much a thing of the past. No, now I get to hear my 14 year old Teenzilla go on about how Valentine's Day sucks, she doesn't have a BF and everything is stupid. I hear ya kid. It REALLY sucks to be a Freshman in high school, and watch all the commercial, contrived bullshit going on around you, and not be involved.   

I also hate to hear the competitiveness between women on Valentine’s Day. Someone bragging about their enormous bouquet of flowers, another one flashing the diamonds she got, while yet another one claims that her man really loves her because he never takes her out but tonight they are going to the best restaurant in the city. Doesn't she realize that it is only a Valentine’s Day marketing game, he never takes her out except on Valentine’s Day, and she is delighted. Poor girl!

Valentine's Breakfast 2012 

And contrary to the above, I am still a sappy girl,a romantic person, a dreamy girl who seems to have found her happily ever after. And when I say that I don't really care about Valentine's Day, people look at me like I am from Mars, assume I have a thoughtless husband, or think  I am just old to care anymore.  Most people do not understand how someone who is happy in a relationship doesn't gush all over Valentine's Day like a teenager experiencing their first "love". I am beyond all that. Not romance all together, but summing it all up in one day. I do fun little things, love notes in a lunch, sexy texts, favorite dinners, etc all the time. I may rev it up a little in February, but it's also my mister's birthday in February, so of course he gets a little extra attention.  

I have an ideal husband, who is a hopeless romantic and after almost 16 years, still tries to woo me on a daily basis. Work, school, and kids have made me tired, fussy and, well downright bitchy most of the time, and the fact that he still puts up with it is pretty damn awesome.  He doesn't ignore me until the 14th day of February rolls around and then attempt to shower me with romance and affection. I get Valentine's Day any time I want it, really.  And he is pretty damn lucky himself. I am not into jewelry, or expensive stuff, I am pretty low maintenance when it comes to gift giving. The only thing I DO ask, don't get me household appliances for V-Day. Any other gift giving occasion (well, except for our anniversary) is fine for those kinds of things. 

 If you feel like you HAVE to give me something, get me a bottle of my favorite wine, order out so I don't have to cook, and yes, heart shaped pizza IS acceptable or take me to MY choice of movies- NOT the new Die Hard either. Save that one for your birthday ♥

NOT a Valentine's Day movie

Happy Not Mother's...I mean Father's Day!

This weekend is Father's Day- and like many dutiful wives- I plan on letting my husband sleep in, will cook his favorite dinner and keep the kiddos as quiet as possible (I'm thinking movie day for us). What I will not do? Mow the lawn for him- since the ONE time I did he complained I did it "wrong" so he gets that honor all to himself.

 I NEVER know what to get him- usually his wishes are beyond our financial capabilities. I ALWAYS ask for peace and quiet, to be taken out to breakfast and to not have to cook or clean. If I get some actual gifts- well that is a bonus!

He doesn't do the "traditional" dad things- golfing, fishing, etc. so there goes my idea for cheap greens fees or an all inclusive fishing expedition from Groupon. I REALLY want to get him a new grill- even though he protests and says he doesn't need one (I beg to differ).  He has said something about a tow package for his Jeep- but I am severely impaired when it comes to his Jeep- and after looking online I have NO CLUE as to which one he would need...

I wish

Cool, huh?

What he did ask for was a bonfire on Saturday night with "The Boys"- complete with too much booze, long involved conversations about The Avengers, Star Wars and when he is going to make another movie. I am all for it- but don't necessarily look forward to nursing his hangover on Father's Day- but if that is what he wants, well, who am I to protest?

He was very good to me on Mother's Day- I got several things I had asked for but didn't expect to get. Now granted- we had tax return money then, and now we are really tightening the budget with me not working this summer- but I really want to get him something. I LOVE to give presents (he will say I love to spend money which isn't true...anymore!) and I love to see the look on my sweeties face when I get him something totally awesome and not expected.

Always a winner

So what's it gonna be? Crazy sex? Favorite dessert? (can be combined with crazy sex- so it's a two-fer!)  A pony? Beer of the month subscription?  A Stormtrooper helmet with voice changer?      I'm stumped. Pretty shameful after 15 years of marriage. *Le Sigh*

If I want to be TOTALLY unexpected

Be My Valentine♥ Oh hell- let's just have sex.

Be my sexy Valentine

Whether you're cynical or a hopeless romantic, most of us feel a collective sense of sexual anticipation (obligation?) surrounding Valentine’s Day. It's one of those sexually charged holidays, right up there with birthdays and anniversaries - you're just SUPPOSED to have sex to celebrate.

Am I the only one who thinks this is kind of weird? Feeling obligated to give it up because it's a holiday supposedly for lovers- that is NOT how it should feel.  I'm not even sure who I'm obligated to - me? My husband? St. Valentine? Hallmark?

What do you think? Will you be having sex tomorrow? Do you feel any sense of obligation? What other romantic gestures will you make?  Maybe just some cuddling is in order. Maybe a favorite movie, or a nice dinner. There are a lot of ways to show love and affection without the pressure of having to have sex, but any one of which could lead to getting sweaty in the bedroom after the kids are asleep.

Maybe it is my killer PMS talking. Maybe it is the fact my hubby will be working. I  guess I will have to be happy making heart shaped pizza and having strawberry milkshakes for dessert with my kiddos.  Maybe my mister will pick up a bottle of my favorite pink bubbly as a surprise. (I know you are reading this honey- so that is a not so subtle hint!) 

 In any case- my Valentine of 15 years knows I love him, and I know he loves me. So here's to the lovers, new and established. I hope you all have a nice, romantic happy day tomorrow. I know I will- no matter what!