I choose......YOU!

I was very surprised and honored when I found out that The Mommy Ref nominated me for The Liebster Award!  I have been nominated for this once before, and it was just as big of a surprise- especially since I am such a lazy blogger!

So now it's my turn. Check out the "rules" for The Liebster Award and enjoy!

This award is given to new or up and coming bloggers who have less than 200 followers. The award is then passed along to other bloggers in the same category to help spread the word and support each other.

1. Each blogger should post 11 random facts about themselves.

2. Answer the questions the tagger has set for you, then create 11 new questions for the bloggers you pass the award to.

3. Choose 11 new bloggers (or with less than 200 followers) to pass the award to and link them in your post.

4. Go to their page and tell them about the award.

5. No tag backs.

11 Random Facts About Red Vines & Red Wine

•  ü  I have a fear of open closets.
  ü  I am afraid of thunderstorms
  ü  I am becoming increasingly OCD. Seriously, the glasses and coffee cups in the kitchen cabinet have to be “just so” or I get REALLY annoyed!
  ü  I like to eat saltine crackers with butter on them
  ü  My blog used to be called Ramblings of a Wineaux Mom. Drinking a glass of Sweet Red wine one night, I happened to eat a Red Vine. Then I decided to change the name!
  ü  I love Zombie movies, shows, books etc. Especially The Walking Dead
  ü  I have had an idea and rough outline for a children’s book for about 6 years.
  ü  I have been married for 15 years this July
  ü  I collect pigs. I LOVE pigs!
  ü  I love the movie White Chicks
  ü  I used to be a cheerleader. I really really love cheer. I coach pee-wee cheerleaders in the summer. Teenzilla hates it. I made her do it anyway. 
  
  
  Questions from The Mommy Ref
  
  
  
  
  1.  Why did you start to blog? I like to write, and I thought, what the hell? Then I started reading Moms Who Drink and Swear and that was it!  I wish I blogged more- I really need to be more disciplined about it. Right now though, school is taking up most of my time.
  
  
  2.  Do you have a story behind your kid(s) name(s)? My oldest is named after Meggie’s son in The Thorn Birds (Dane) Teenzilla was difficult, all of us started with “D” and I kind of wanted to stick with that- but I didn’t like any “D” names. The Mister woke me up at 1:00 in the morning about 3 weeks before she was due and said RYLEE! And so it was. The Boy, we both really liked Noah! Each of their middle names is a grandparent as well.
  
  
  3.  What is your favorite sit com? The Big Bang Theory, New Normal and Modern Family
  
  
  4.  Have you ever been to another country? Mexico and Canada. I went to Tijuana when I was in high school, and I live about 20 minutes from Windsor Canada. Only been there a couple of times though!
  
  
  5.  What is your favorite ice cream? Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough. YUMMMMM
  
  
  6.  What did you want to be when you grew up? A lawyer! I was going to go to NYU and live in New York. Getting preggers at 16 sidelined that!  I started teaching preschool when Teenzilla was 2, and never looked back. Now my goal is to teach special ed with a focus on ASD and implement an ASD program in our school district.
  
  
  7.  Are you allergic to anything? Walnuts- funny story- our wedding cake was made by my sister’s mother-in-law and was full of walnuts! I could only have a teeny tiny bite and even that made my tongue itchy
  
  
  8.  What state would you move to if you could? If I could afford it, I would move back to California. Temperate climate, we were right by the ocean, I loved it- except for the cost of living!
  
  
  9.  What is something you want to accomplish before 2013 is over? Lose 20 pounds and to get through these damn algebra classes without killing anyone!
  
  
   10. Who is your celebrity crush? Hmmm…. I guess I would have to say Nathan Fillion- he is so damn sexy, and funny. I bet he is amazingly cool in real life!
  
  
  11. What were you doing at 8am this morning? Shooing kids off to class as I left my part time job as a morning latchkey provider. 
  
  
     Questions from me to my nominees- you know- to stalk them better!
  
  
  1) Are you a Night Owl or Morning Person?
  2) What is/are your favorite book(s)?
  3) How many kiddos do you have?
  4) Why did you start a blog?
  5) What's your favorite junk food?
  6) What did you want to be when you grew up?
  7) If someone offered you $20 million dollars, but you had to give up one of your senses, would you? Which sense?
  8) What is your favorite movie? One that you will watch over and over and over?
  9) If you could change anything about yourself, what would it be?
  10) What is your favorite color?
  11) If it could be one season all the time, what would you pick? 
  
  
     
      and now MY PICKS for the Liebster Award- go check them out- they are awesome!
  
  
  Autism Sparkles
  Life With Legos
  The Mighty Mr. M vs Autism
  Dad v. Autism
  The Plucky Procrastinator
  Sooperdad Blog of Awesomeness
  PDD World
  Love That Max!
  Our Life in Pieces
  Me and My Professor
  The Neurotypical Mom
  
  
  Yep- pretty much all Autism related- but all wonderful blogs, and you should check them out!
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

Play Dates with Autism and a host of other acronyms

There are certain words and phrases automatically strike fear in the hearts of parents of autistic children. Summer vacation. Low battery. Out of Goldfish crackers.  

The one that has always got me is "Play date"  The boy is 9 now- is it still considered a "play date?" What else could I call it? Hanging out? Bouncing off the walls followed by an overstimulated meltdown? That last one kinda takes the shine off what should be a fun time.  

Since social and play skills are a pretty standard deficits amongst children with autism, parents are encouraged to organize play dates with typically developing peers so that our kids can model their play schemes and behaviors.  I used to do this. When The Boy was in preschool and in kindergarten- I went out of my way to go to any and all play dates that were offered...and became a part of a babysitting exchange just for the opportunity to watch some neurotypical kids- and give The Boy an opportunity to go to their homes.  Because  we all know everything that neurotypical children do is so great and our ASD kiddos NEED to learn how to play like them. (Heavy on the sarcasm here...ok)

Try organizing a play date with other kids on the spectrum- or that have AD/HD. Or OCD. Or ODD. Or are EI. (emotionally impaired) That also gets tricky. Because - and I am being brutally honest here- there are days I can barely stand my own kid's incessant chatter about dinosaurs and Pokemon,  bouncing off the walls, picky eating habits and tendency to be drawn to all things electronic as opposed to real life interactions. I have never thought to myself  "Hey- The Boy is completely unpredictable at times, let’s invite  another one into the mix and see how crazy shit can get up in here"

Not to say we haven't had successful play dates over the years- sure we have. With both neurotypical kids AND kids on the spectrum, or AD/HD, or any other acronym you wanna throw out there. The dynamics are COMPLETELY  different of course, but one thing never changes- and that is my hovering, making sure to explain something The Boy may have just said or done that has the typical kid looking at him strangely, or diffusing what could be a very dangerous situation when two kiddos on the spectrum disagree about something- anything.   But we have survived them, and not been any worse off after. 

The scenario now: The Boy has this friend. He is in the special ed class he is in. Yeah- the school where he was to be fully mainstreamed and yet still goes to a special ed class... that is a rant for another time. This friend is the same age as The Boy. He is also EXTRAORDINARILY AD/HD. He is also very immature for his age and I suspect very emotionally impaired (EI). I have had the opportunity to work with this boy in the after school program where I work as well. I know him pretty well. And when he has a bad day he has a BAD day. An only child, he is VERY bossy and insists everything be done his way, and The Boy will do whatever he says to do- because he thinks this is how to be a good friend. ( remember the social issues thing?) We are working on that.  I truly like this kid and I feel bad because he really doesn't seem to have any other friends- with the exception of my kid anyway.  This makes my heart hurt. I see and hear how he gets picked on- and - at least in my program anyway- it is NEVER allowed.  But I only have these opportunities  for a few hours a week, and believe me - there are times I could just sit down and cry after he gets picked up. Especially when The Boy is with us..it can get wacky.  This friend can be VERY aggressive, and shouts things like "LEAVE ME ALONE I'M GONNA KILL YOU!" when other kids are upsetting him. I have had to stop him from hitting a few times too.  But he truly seems to like The Boy, and the feeling is quite mutual. There have been times when my boy has told him to "Calm Down!"  making me feel pretty damn proud- but also wondering if fostering the friendship will cause The Boy to pick up bad behaviors not previously had- or grown out of. 

I mean, everyone wants their kid to be around, if not typical, then “higher-functioning” kids. But if most of us are somewhere in the middle, there’s always someone “higher” and there’s always someone “lower”.I may be leery of having The Boy  have a  play date with a kid who displays aggressive behaviors,  but trust me, there are plenty of kids that AREN'T lining up for play dates with him.  In the long run- I just want The Boy to have fun and be happy- regardless of the "functioning" abilities of a friend. Now- if that friend hurts my kid, starts setting fires or neighborhood puppies start disappearing- that would be a game changer. 

So today- I dove right in- talked to the mom- invited the friend over for a few hours. Now- just so you have an idea - here we have 2 nine  year old boys- both VERY into dinosaurs and Pokemon.  Both with developmental delays. One with Autism, AD/HD,  and OCD. The other severely AD/HD and suspected EI.  

It all started out great- both excited, both wanting to play different things on different electronic devices, but getting along ok...I mean- they weren't interacting a whole lot, and I was doing my best not to hover or shove them together.  There was chasing of the cat, running up and down the stairs- "normal" stuff. Then the Nerf Guns came into play. Which I was all for- they were playing TOGETHER and not on the Wii/computer/DS/iPad either. But our house is small- and it is unusually mild for January in MI, so I sent them outside. 

Within about 2 minutes of being outside- the friend decided to hit the basement window with the Nerf gun- "to see if it was plastic". It wasn't.  There was a slurry of  "I'm sorry's" and the threat of tears and a meltdown.  I didn't explode- I made sure nobody was hurt, and hubby got all the glass and boarded the window up.   I asked what happened-they told me and ran off.   So now I wonder- should I call mom? He's only been at my house for 30 minutes. I debated for a minute and then I.Let.It.Go.  Let it go! I mean- what the hell was I going to do?    

The rest of the afternoon went fine- excited and loud but fine. Then I started wondering- do I tell his mom? I mean- the kid did break a window- but it was the basement window and can be replaced fairly inexpensively (I hope). This was the first time they have played together outside of school, and it was an accident. Sort of. In the end- I didn't say a damn thing.  Right or wrong- I don't know and don't care. Maybe The Boy will go over to their house and break something. But with my luck it would be the plasma TV.