Full Moon Madness and Autism- what IS the connection?

Every month I start seeing the signs. Dramatically (and I do mean DRAMATICALLY) increased energy level. Dramatically increased irritability. Easy to anger. Easy to cry. Disjointed thoughts and  speech patterns. Increased OCD behavior. Increased verbal stimming. Sleeping issues. No need to look at my moon phase app, I know it's that damn full moon again- messing The Boy (and me) all up. To top it off- it's the so called "Super Moon" so there's that.  I really wonder if the tug of the Earth is felt on a deeper level for him, causing everything to be out of whack.

Deluxe Moon 

And this is not unique to my son. All over Facebook and Twitter, spectrum parents are saying virtually the same thing. Our  kiddos are "off". And this isn't just from  parents, teachers say the same thing. So what is it? Are we all suffering from some group hallucination?  I mean, the word "lunatic"  comes from the Latin ‘luna’ meaning  moon and can mean someone who goes mad with the changes of the moon. so is it our kids, or is it us? Maybe our kids actually suffer from lycanthropy and this is the explanation for the Autism dial being turned up to about a bajillion.  (Imagine that- an autistic werewolf...)

Howl at the moon!

According to an article in Scientific American there is a  theory that that the full moon’s ­supposed effects on behavior arise from its influence on water. The human body, after all, is about 80 percent water, so perhaps the moon works its mischievous magic by somehow disrupting the alignment of water molecules in the nervous system. But the article also goes on to say that "the gravitational effects of the moon are far too minuscule to generate any meaningful effects on brain activity, let alone behavior."  So what gives?  This seems to be in direct opposition to the many, MANY folks who say their ASD kiddos act "loony"  during a full moon.  I have read so many theories, some plausible, some ridiculous, but even though "Full Moon Madness" has been supposedly debunked- it is apparent that those doing the "de-bunking" weren't raising or caring for someone on the spectrum.  Or heard the mountain of  anecdotal evidence from law enforcement, labor and delivery nurses, or doctors working in  psychiatric facilities.

So pretty- so maddening!

I am so very tired, the moon is even screwing my sleep patterns up- about 6 hours of sleep over the last 2 nights makes for a VERY crabby mom. The Mister thinks I am crazy - and when I  ask if he remembers the major meltdowns that just happened to coincide with the last  full moon, he just gives me this blank look. I am around The Boy more often, so it's no wonder I see these behaviors I guess. I am either  more in tune with his ups and downs, or I myself am also feeling the effects of the full moon.  

Right now, I am thinking it's after noon on a Sunday-  that's not too early for a glass of wine, right? I am also sending Teenzilla and The Mister to the movies. I would love to take The Boy, but between his behaviors and my exhaustion, we really shouldn't be unleashed on an unsuspecting public. I will just curse that damn moon.

Quella luna pazza- that crazy moon.... 

Photo courtesy of  autismliveshere.com

Deluxe Moon App:  https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/deluxe-moon-pro-moon-phases/id482361332?mt=8

Do NOT compare my child to your dog. EVER.

As the  parent of three actual humans, I get annoyed with people that call themselves a “pet parent.” The only parents a pet has are those of the same species that had sex in a river, up in a tree, or in some dark alley after sniffing each other’s butts. Period.As a human, you are their owner. Their caretaker. Their trainer. Their master. BUT YOU. ARE NOT. THEIR PARENT!

This is NOT a hairy baby. This.is.a.DOG.

Now I know a lot of people feel differently, and I’ll openly admit that I’m not a pet, more specifically a "dog person”  I like other people's pets. I play with my mother in law's giant slobbery Boxer who weighs about 100 lbs. and thinks he's a lap dog. He is sweet, but I wouldn't want to own him.  I also like my good friend's two pit bulls- sweet funny dogs who I like to give ice cubes because they love them so much!

If you like pets, if you LOVE pets, that’s great –they’re good for companionship, and I am a big fan of service dogs. I have a kitty, and I love him very much.So do my kids. So go ahead, love your pet! Dress your pet in goofy looking Christmas sweaters. Put galoshes on them in the rain. Feed them with a special spoon. Don’t get me wrong. There’s no denying that as living, breathing creatures, they’re part of the family – the family pet. They should be loved, taken care of an not mistreated or abused. But do not EVER compare your ANIMAL to my CHILDREN. That shit won't fly.

Sure, pets are like children in some ways. They make messes and don’t clean up after themselves. They’re active. They like lots of attention. They make me swear at least once a day. But the similarities end there and the differences are what makes having pets absolutely nothing like raising children. I don't pop my kids on the nose (or anywhere else for that matter) with a newspaper,(or my hand or ANYTHING)  nor do I leave them in a crate while I go to work. I do not have to go to doggy school and advocate for their right to an education. But I DO do that with The Boy. I DO have to console Teenzilla when a boy has hurt her, or a so called best friend is being not such a good friend.  I do have to be a MOM and all it entails to my very human children. 

I live next to TWO of these

I know what I will do! Devise a plan to get rid of those dogs!

I have very inconsiderate neighbors with two extremely irritating yappy dogs. They bark and bark and bark and bark at all hours of the night, super early on the weekends - at the fucking  wind blowing. They are also very BITEY. Came into MY YARD and tried to bite The Boy. In his own yard!!  They disturb not just my sleep but The Boy's and Teenzilla's AND The Mister's. And let me tell you, disturbing a kiddo on the spectrum's sleep- ON A SCHOOL DAY- that pisses me off no end.  For two YEARS I have been dealing with these useless barking fuckers. TWO YEARS! I have tried to befriend them, I have tried giving them treats- and they just bark. Yes- their owners are inconsiderate jerks. Yes they are "just dogs" but after speaking with them, talking to Animal Control (which seemed to work for a couple of months- barking bastards had shock collars on- blessed quiet!) I have had it! I will be IN MY HOUSE- and they can see me in the kitchen window and they will bark. Forget outdoor activities in the summer- they ruin it.  I wish they would run away.I have said I will buy a BB gun and shoot the little fucks when they bark. I have wished terrible things on them (and the human owners as well) ESPECIALLY when I am awoken at 1:00 A.M and again at 6:00 A.M. on a Sunday. But do I act on these things? Of course not. Do I sit and dwell on this shit, improvising elaborate methods to ensure the dog's demise?  No. I do have a life.  That doesn't stop me from disliking the neighbors and their complete lack of consideration, nor does it make me like those stupid dogs. 

THIS is a child. MY child.

Someone recently on Facebook actually said I needed counseling  and wonder if I throw my kids out when they irritate me- oh DAMN. That is the FASTEST way to piss me off.  DO NOT EVER EVER EVER COMPARE MY CHILDREN TO YOUR PETS! EVER!!!

The plain and simple truth is dogs grow up to be dogs. Love them, buy them toys, treats, take them on walks, they are going to love you. And when he grows up he’s still going to be a dog.  As a nation we have become particularly obsessed with our pets, pet hotels, pet psychics, animal advocates (don't get me started on that one) but your obsession is not going to change the fact that your dog will probably grow up to be the same dog he was going to be anyway.

Raising children comes with knowing that you are responsible for molding a human being  that will someday be able to go out on their own and become productive members of society. This requires a constant investment in them, keeping an eye on friends and activities, helping achieve success in school and ultimately  passing on the morals and values that you want them to carry for a lifetime. You raise your kids to eventually leave you and go out into the world as adults to live their lives and maybe have children of their own someday. Your dog will be with you forever. And it will still be a dog. Maybe slower, and definitely older. STILL A DOG. 

People need to think twice before comparing their dog to someone’s child- ESPECIALLY MINE. 

Here are some key differences between dogs and kids for those who might need the info. 

• If you're a dog owner, and you're out of milk and you need it for the recipe you're making for dinner, you can run to the grocery store  without your dog.
• If you are a parent of a small child and you find yourself faced with a grocery emergency, you either must find a babysitter immediately, or dress your child appropriately for the weather, take your child to  the car whether or not your child wants to go, strap your child into an appropriate restraining device, listen to your child complain about your selections on the car radio all the way to the store, take your child out of the car seat,strap them into a cart (depending on their age of course- try strapping a teenager into a cart- that doesn't go over well!) listen to your child ask whether you can buy every tenth thing you pass, load your groceries into your car and return your cart  while also wrangling your child, strap your child back into the car seat, drive home, and then figure out how to get your child and the groceries out of the car at the same time. Now- do this with a kiddo on the spectrum that you have had to interrupt while playing Lego Starwars. Multiply all of this by 100. 
• A new puppy may wake its owners up several times a night to be played with, have to go to the bathroom, etc.
• A new baby will wake a mother up several times a night to CHEW ON HER BOOBS.
• A new puppy may sometimes pee/poop or barf on the floor
• A new baby may sometimes pee/poop or vomit IN YOUR FACE. Not to mention the clean shirt you just put on.
• It might take a couple of months to potty train a puppy.
• It can take YEARS to potty train child. Oh- kiddo on the spectrum? That could be, well, never.
• You can leave your dog alone in a fenced yard with a bowl of food, a bowl of water and some toys for eight hours a day while you work, and you might feel a little bit guilty.
• If you leave your child alone in a fenced yard with a bowl of food, a bowl of water and some toys for eight hours a day while you work, you will be arrested.
• You have to teach a dog that chewing your favorite shoes to pieces is not an appropriate way to play. 
• You have to teach a child that playing with matches could set your entire house on fire.

This is by no means a comprehensive list- but it does cover some important things that should help if you find yourself confused. 

Sidebar: Abusing or mistreating animals is WRONG. Please inform your local Animal Control if you see evidence of abuse.  Sadly, more animal abuse cases are followed up on than child abuse cases. Try and justify that. 

Service dogs are AMAZING. Check out 4 Paws for Ability. They are awesome- and I have a friend with 2 autistic children who has a dog from there- and he is great. Oh- and doesn't bark at air. 

P.S. People say it is the owners fault. I agree to an  extent. But these same people also STILL compared kids and dogs- Bad kids have bad parents and bad pets have bad owners. Love the ignorance and intolerance. Sorry- but my kid isn't always being "bad" He is autistic- and might be overwhelmed. And I also firmly believe that there are bad apples everywhere. Even with dogs. 

The Devolution of Traditional Family Time

I came across this picture today whilst cruising the interwebs....

My first reactions was to laugh- then I thought-"Awwww, how sad" And finally I found that I could COMPLETELY RELATE!   I have had a full text conversation with Teenzilla while she was up in her room and I was in the living room. Watching TV. And don't even get me started on Facebook, email, online games, Ebay...you get the point. 

I guess I should have felt terrible and immediately cancelled my cable, cell phones and internet and sat down to sing Kumbayah with my kids, but obviously that didn't happen. This my friends- really is the evolution or rather DEVOLUTION of "family time", everyone in the same room, but otherwise engaged in some sort of electronic stimulus. Attention fractured, not really able to focus on any one thing, or hyper focused to the exclusion of everything else.  

I have made the rationalizations- we are all TOGETHER more or less, yeah, I am playing on my iPhone, Teenzilla is on her computer, and dad is either so immersed in whatever is on TV or also playing on his phone and The Boy is usually sitting next to one one of us watching what we are doing or also watching TV. But we are still chatting, sharing whatever we might be doing with each other, and for all intents and purposes- spending time as a FAMILY...right?? 

Let me list the ways we DO spend true time as a family together:

1. Family meal times- 5-6 days of the week- dinner in our house is at the kitchen table- NO ELECTRONICS ALLOWED!
2. Family Game Night- NOT Wii game night, a real board or card game 
3. Family Nerf Gun Battles- a favorite for sure
4. Swimming in the summer, sledding or other snow fun in the winter
5. Football in the fall
6. Family trips to the apple orchards and pumpkin picking in the fall
7. Nature walks
8. Bike rides

So we DO a lot of things that do not revolve around a screen of some sort. But I guess on an every day basis- the TV, phones, computers and iPad dominate our lives. But isn't that the way with a huge percentage of the populace? I mean- we do live in a digital world. Our whole world can be broken down into zero's and ones, formulated into HTML and fed back to us on a screen of some kind.  Yes- there really is no substitute for outdoor fun, face to face conversations, books made out of paper and held in your hands with PAGES you can turn,but sadly, these things are starting to disappear.

So yeah- it is pretty damn sad when you think about it. But changing it isn't going to happen. I guess we all just need to make sure we are still making time for these "old fashioned" family fun things, and making sure our kids can connect with other LIVE people and not just images on a screen. 

Bring on summer vacation!

There are 8 days left until my kiddos are done with another school year.  8 days of wound up, distracted bundles of nervous energy to coax out of bed and get to school with minimal fuss.  8 days of lunches, finding backpacks, cramming for finals and end of the year parties. 8 days until I get my kiddos to myself for 10 wonderful weeks!

Yes- you heard me right! I am just as wound up and distracted as they are. I am NOT working this summer so I intend to make the absolute most of my time with my spawn.  Now- if you follow my blog at all, you might be saying- Hey! Wait just a minute! You wrote School is almost over. Please pass me my wine. and to an extent that still holds true. There will be the inevitable "I'm BORED's" and bickering that comes along with the kids being home, but I am ok with it this year. Stop laughing! I worked full time for the last 2 summers- and since I have been teaching for the last 12 years, that was a HUGE let down for me. Not being able to hang with the kids really bothered me.

As I blog hop, and hang out on Facebook, I see so many parents that really are dreading summer vacation. Finding stuff to keep them busy, keeping them from rotting in front of a television or computer screen, and, if you are monetarily challenged like we are, thinking up fun "Stay-cations" and cheap entertainment (now that's an oxymoron!) is a pain in the ass. Throw in Autism and now the challenges REALLY begin. I try to keep The Boy's schedule as "same" as possible. Later bedtimes happen, but I try to keep to the same time on them as well.. Anything major we might plan is discussed thoroughly and with plenty of time for him to prepare.   He has  no ESY (extended school year) so that frees up some time. There are 2 football camps he will be attending and  and one 8 week long camp that is 2 nights a week, so that will keep us busy for sure. Swimming at the local pool is also on the agenda, and, if I can get him interested enough- the summer reading program at the library. Add trips to the park and bike rides- and I have a nice chunk covered.

My tricky kid is going to be Teenzilla. She will be a big lazy blob if I let her. And she will be my biggest complainer too. Trying to find stuff to do that works for a 14 year old girl, and a 9 year old boy is interesting to say the least. Most of her friends travel in the summer (must be nice) so she is on her own a lot. She loves hanging out with me- when we can go to the mall, to a movie she likes, etc.etc. But again- that age difference is a killer at times.  She loves the library, so I foresee a lot of time spent there. She and her dad have mentioned something about building a hovercraft (no, I am not joking) this summer. I am sure there will be a couple of trips Up North, lazy days on the pontoon boat, swimming, fireworks and ice cream for breakfast.  We will have a Girls Day Out for her 14th birthday, and I am sure to feel a little bit teary when she leaves for her first day of high school this Fall.

None of this really matters to me though. I get to spend the summer with my kids. I love being a mom, and there will come a day when they will all be out living their own lives-(one of them already is!) and that is  just what I am raising them to do. For now, they are still  my babies. And the excitement of longer days, no homework, staying up later and making s'mores around the backyard bonfire will diminish. There is no way I want to look back and say- Damn, I wish I would have spent more time with my kids.

So bring on summer vacation! Yes, we will be broker than usual. Yes I will most likely bitch about it at some point. Yes they will drive me bonkers on some days. Yes, I will probably have a wine opener in my back pocket at all times.  I.Can't.Wait!

Up North ROCKS!

It's a blog- not an open invitation to tell me how effed up I am

There are a bajillion blogs out there. There are blogs about kids, booze, food, technology, families....the list goes on and on and on and on ad infinitum. I personally read several blogs religiously. Moms Who Drink and Swear,  Dad v. Autism  ( my hubby ♥), Life With Penis People, Mary Tyler Mom, Counting Caballeros, Shit Your Mother Never Told You, Apples and Autobots, Little White Lion, ....are just a VERY small sampling of what I personally read. I keep up on the autism blogs, of which there are many, and mine of course is a hodge podge of autism, parenting, friends, daily life, blah, blah, blah.  Hell, I even wrote about wishing I had done more Kegels for shit's sake....

I may not agree with every single thing I read - even on my favorites- but I do not make it my personal mission to send anybody a private message telling them how fucked up they are, to decry their character or morals, or to just spew hate.   And I really do NOT get people that do.  Bloggers are opening themselves up, creating stuff that matters to them- and hoping it will matter to others as well. Whether it's political, whimsical, informative or funny, it is ALL a matter of opinion- and that leaves us vulnerable. We hope to inspire, but we also open ourselves up to criticism, both constructive and unfortunately destructive. 

I am not holding a gun to YOUR head right now. I am not forcing you to read this. You CHOSE to read my somewhat intelligible rantings. My writing is not filled with subliminal messages {{{read this blog or else you will break out in boils and develop syphilis}}  forcing the average person to read.  And while I welcome feedback, similar stories, and disagreement (done in an intelligent manner) I will not give credence to sad people who think they have to say horrible awful things to build themselves up.  

For instance- in my blog Must love dogs. Well Screw That! I wrote about our misfortunes with owning dogs. I received so many venomous, hate filled nasty comments- it just blew me away. I laughed a lot of it off- each to his own right? But people were actually calling my parenting skills into question- really? Don't even go there! Here is one example:

I have to say that I am appalled by the way you have treated those poor defenceless animals. And I'm even more appalled that you seem to think that the way you have behaved is acceptable. You left your family pet with a humane society and do not even care about whether or not it's still alive? And you are about to do it again? I am ashamed to belong to the same species as you. I'm almost surprised that you didn't give up your son when it turned out he was autistic, just in case he turned out to be too much work for you! I really hope that when you become old and senile and start shitting yourself that your children dump you in a nursing home. Because they will have learned from you that getting rid of something that has become an inconvience is perfectly ok.

This one really pissed me off. But then- I took a deep breath and decided it was absolutely pointless and ridiculous to get pissed off, much less argue with someone like this ( even though I DID have some choice things to say!)  This person had an opinion- and even though they were unable to present their opinion in a matter that didn't try to bring me down, it was still their OPINION...and unfortunately, any asshole can have one of those. 

When out perusing the blogosphere- remember that a million different personalities have millions upon millions of opinions and write about them.NOBODY  is forcing anyone to read or agree with ANYTHING.  You may not like or agree with them all. But it is not license to be nasty, bitchy, hateful or even threatening to the writer.  Haters: Try writing your own blog- put yourself out there and see what happens.  

So the moral of the story is- read my blog, have an opinion, share a comment, similar story, helpful advice or even criticism- I can take it! Just remember- I am putting myself out there- both for my own enjoyment and because I hope that something I say may resonate with someone else and dare I say help someone out. But more than that- I may be the one getting help or advice. I am an autism mom - I can use all the help I can get.

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Moms Who Drink and Swear saved my life!

You know THAT mom. The one at the store who smiles at everything, speaks to her rowdy children in that sweet little voice and gives you that sad look when you yell at your own demon spawn for knocking that display over. The one who feeds her kids only organic, never eats sugary snacks and prepares a 4 course dinner every night for her perfect family. The mom whose idea of indulgence is a sip of Chardonnay at the husbands company party. The mom who would never dream of working outside the home and devotes every second to her over indulged children all while looking down her nose at the rest of us.  She never has that faint scent of vomit and Fruit Loops about her, and her clothes and hair are impeccable.  They are everywhere- Stepford wife/moms who would rather eat their own hand then raise their voice to their darling progeny.   I am NOT that mom.

I love all of my children. They are amazing creatures that blow my mind  on a regular basis. But they also drive me BONKERS!! There are days that I seriously can't take anymore of the whining, messy fighting, crying reality that is children. And I have lost it on more than one occasion and dropped a f-bomb (or three) in front of them.   And then one night a little over a year ago- while learning the intricacies of Facebook I came upon a page titled "Moms who Drink and Swear".Now I can't remember exactly HOW I came across it- but after reading the description I immediately was hooked.   The first few posts had me laughing so hard I almost spilled my wine. Here were moms who were bitching about changing diapers, messy kids, bratty teens, less than helpful husbands, cellulite, kids TV  and everything in between! There were posts about what juice box is the best mixer for vodka and posts about drinking the last of the booze in the house. And the f-bombs! These moms- they were REAL. Their kids were loved and taken care of, but they told the simple truth- kids can be a giant pain in the ass!  And they would never utter those words to their kiddos-  but now they had somewhere to go and say EXACTLY what was on their mind- with no fear of judgment.  I had found my Mecca and I HAD to know more!!

What's this? There is a whole website too? www.momswhodrinkandswear.com. The headline read -Do you indulge in an adult beverage once in awhile after a long hard day of mommin?  Have you dropped the f-bomb in front of the kids? This is website is for you.  It comes equipped with blithering blogging from a mom who gets it. This is a site for real moms with real humor and great love for their families who are not afraid to speak the truth. 

                                                    Relax Mom, welcome home! 

I was immediately hooked on the snarky, sharp tongued wit of the owner and devoured everything on the site. From then on, every day I was checking in to the Facebook page, reading posts, commenting and commiserating with others, posting my own rants and laughing.  I shared the website with my friends and told everyone I knew about this amazing phenomenon called MWDAS!   I started reading "Nikki's Blithering Blog" and have been blown away every time I read it. It has brought me to tears, it has made me laugh till I peed my pants, it has made me do research and learn about things previously unheard of.

I was relating to so many of these funny women and I was getting new friends daily.  I soon  discovered that many of these foul mouth, booze swilling mama's had children with special needs, like me.  I started talking with some of these women outside of Facebook, via email, and soon phone conversations began as well. I am proud to say that I can also call the amazing founder of this group a close friend too.  Nikki is an inspiration- she was my inspiration to begin writing this blog. We have many of the same issues with our kids and I can call and talk to her about anything! (It is a bit disconcerting to hear that tiny little voice drop an f-bomb the first time!)   She is smart, funny, and has a heart as big as the universe.  It is through her brainchild that I have made some dear friends- sight unseen! We have so much in common- and I have to believe there was a higher power guiding her in this venture- because I have honesty met a handful of kindred spirits that I treasure as much as my closest and dearest friends.

Thank you Nikki and thank you Moms Who Drink and Swear- I am not adrift in a sea of pearl clutchers any longer! Cheers!

The Facebook Phenomenon

If you haven't heard of Facebook then you literally must be living in a cave. Even if you don't use it- you hear people talking about it all the time. I am one of them. I played with MySpace for a couple of years- mostly making "friends" and establishing contacts in the Autism Community. I played the games, changed my name to silly things- was constantly changing my profile look, profile picture etc.
I heard about this Facebook from my oldest child and upon first checking it out I said- "No- not for me" With none of the flashy profile backgrounds (really, that is what I loved about MySpace!) and the fact that at the time it was really something marketed to the 20 somethings in college as a way to network etc. I blew it off as something for the younger generation and continued to play with my MySpace.
But there was more and more talk from my circle of peers about Facebook- "You should try it, you'll love it" they said. Well- trusting my friends as I do I set up an account.  I wasn't all that impressed at first- became friends with my husband and some others I had been friends with on MySpace as well. I pretty much forgot about it.  Then.....
I don't know how or when it happened- but I am now officially a Facebook junkie. When I am not working (which is all to often) I am on it. I have a farm, a cafe, I play Family Feud, I know which Greek Goddess I am most like, what tattoo I should get, who my celebrity lover of the day is and discovered the best page- a true life and sanity saver, Moms Who Drink and Swear.  I share my beautiful family pictures, thrive on the comments I get on them, love seeing my friends pictures, and being a fly on the wall in their lives. I have made some wonderful friends- notice the lack of quotations- that is because we have exchanged phone numbers, text each other and call each other regularly and share our lives with each other both on and off of Facebook.
 I converse with friends that live across the street and across the country.Hell, my Grandma is even on Facebook! How cool is that?  What I originally started as a way to meet and talk with parents of autistic children has turned into an addiction. I love the games, quizzes, everything! (oh- there needs to be a LOVE button) 
So  I'm gonna go- I need to do laundry, dishes, you know all the housewifey things I am supposed to do...but first I am gonna check my updates- who knows what could have happened in the 30 minutes I have been gone! 
See you on Crackbook my friends....
*Just an advertisement for my friend Nikki
http://www.facebook.com/momswhodrinkandswear?ref=ts
https://www.momswhodrinkandswear.com

Wine and Friends

As women and mothers we do a lot.(understatement noted)  We take care of the mini versions of ourselves, our spouses our homes and our paying jobs. We take everything on- very rarely ask for help and all too often forget about ourselves in the chaos.

We all have friends, whether they be good friends, casual acquaintances or work related relationships. All serve an important purpose in our lives, some more than others.Friends are  those few precious people who accept us as we are. They never come into our life expecting us to change for them. These friends are sounding boards, drinking buddies, recipe sharers, child caregivers and so much more. .

I am very lucky to have found a group of  amazing women that have been an amazing source of laughter, advice and great wine! I started out as co-workers with 2 of them- and the relationships have grown to now encompass an eclectic group of 6 of us-Kelly, Erin, Angie, Dezirae, Tina and myself.We are not exclusive other friends have joined us on occasion as well. Some of us are married, some are not. Some of us are moms, some are not. We are all in our 30's - and we have a lot in common- but it was our love of wine that brought us together. It started as a one time thing- a party (I believe it was a Pure Romance party hee hee!) and we said we should make this a thing..maybe once a  month- and a tradition was born!

Kelly is our unofficial hostess. She provides the house, the backyard and sometimes the fire, and we all bring a bottle of wine and an appetizer. We have all discovered we love the sweeter wines-Moscato is a group favorite, and Chocovine...mmm chocolate wine..yummy! Appetizers are anything from cheese and crackers to White Castle sliders (yeah, that was me!) to pizza and a lot in between. We have amazing conversations about everything- nothing is off limits with us- but we can also sit in companionable silence. We laugh, cry, bitch and commiserate. It is nothing short of awesome.

These once a  month gatherings are anticipated with an excitement like  Christmas morning . The day of the week varies- We have had Tipsy Tuesday, Wino Wednesday and Thirsty Thursday-but no matter what the day- we come together to share our lives, and our newest wine finds. No husbands, no boyfriends, no cranky family ,no kids, no worries. We can shed the stress that parenting and careers put on us, and put a lighter spin on what is driving us nuts! (i.e. kids, spouse/significant others, jobs, life in general) It is not just a girls night out- it is a cathartic event that enables me to  appreciate the importance of stepping out of my mom and wife role for a little while- and being able to step right back in with an improved attitude.

We all need that break- for some it might be a wine night, for others maybe a book club- whatever the reason, friends and time away from the nagging responsibilities of everyday life is a must. It is imperative to keep us from ending up on an episode of Snapped! 

These women, my friends, are my saving grace- I love them unconditionally- it is true "From wine what sudden friendship springs!"