Full Moon Madness and Autism- what IS the connection?

Every month I start seeing the signs. Dramatically (and I do mean DRAMATICALLY) increased energy level. Dramatically increased irritability. Easy to anger. Easy to cry. Disjointed thoughts and  speech patterns. Increased OCD behavior. Increased verbal stimming. Sleeping issues. No need to look at my moon phase app, I know it's that damn full moon again- messing The Boy (and me) all up. To top it off- it's the so called "Super Moon" so there's that.  I really wonder if the tug of the Earth is felt on a deeper level for him, causing everything to be out of whack.

Deluxe Moon 

And this is not unique to my son. All over Facebook and Twitter, spectrum parents are saying virtually the same thing. Our  kiddos are "off". And this isn't just from  parents, teachers say the same thing. So what is it? Are we all suffering from some group hallucination?  I mean, the word "lunatic"  comes from the Latin ‘luna’ meaning  moon and can mean someone who goes mad with the changes of the moon. so is it our kids, or is it us? Maybe our kids actually suffer from lycanthropy and this is the explanation for the Autism dial being turned up to about a bajillion.  (Imagine that- an autistic werewolf...)

Howl at the moon!

According to an article in Scientific American there is a  theory that that the full moon’s ­supposed effects on behavior arise from its influence on water. The human body, after all, is about 80 percent water, so perhaps the moon works its mischievous magic by somehow disrupting the alignment of water molecules in the nervous system. But the article also goes on to say that "the gravitational effects of the moon are far too minuscule to generate any meaningful effects on brain activity, let alone behavior."  So what gives?  This seems to be in direct opposition to the many, MANY folks who say their ASD kiddos act "loony"  during a full moon.  I have read so many theories, some plausible, some ridiculous, but even though "Full Moon Madness" has been supposedly debunked- it is apparent that those doing the "de-bunking" weren't raising or caring for someone on the spectrum.  Or heard the mountain of  anecdotal evidence from law enforcement, labor and delivery nurses, or doctors working in  psychiatric facilities.

So pretty- so maddening!

I am so very tired, the moon is even screwing my sleep patterns up- about 6 hours of sleep over the last 2 nights makes for a VERY crabby mom. The Mister thinks I am crazy - and when I  ask if he remembers the major meltdowns that just happened to coincide with the last  full moon, he just gives me this blank look. I am around The Boy more often, so it's no wonder I see these behaviors I guess. I am either  more in tune with his ups and downs, or I myself am also feeling the effects of the full moon.  

Right now, I am thinking it's after noon on a Sunday-  that's not too early for a glass of wine, right? I am also sending Teenzilla and The Mister to the movies. I would love to take The Boy, but between his behaviors and my exhaustion, we really shouldn't be unleashed on an unsuspecting public. I will just curse that damn moon.

Quella luna pazza- that crazy moon.... 

Photo courtesy of  autismliveshere.com

Deluxe Moon App:  https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/deluxe-moon-pro-moon-phases/id482361332?mt=8

Tragedy demands answers- start asking the RIGHT questions

Two more tragedies for the autism community occurred over the last week as well. This is almost too much for my heart to bear. I have included links to Drew and Owen at the end of this blog. Please send healing thoughts to their families as well.


Unspeakable tragedies occur more often than anyone wants to think about.  When terrible things happen, whether on a national or global scale, such as 9/11, Newtown, Boston Marathon Bombing, or on a smaller scale, such as the case of Mikaela Lynch, an autistic child who wandered off and drowned, people want, no, they DEMAND an answer. WHY did this happen? HOW could this have happened? And most of all, WHO  is to blame?

Mikaela Lynch disappeared  from her family’s vacation home in Clearlake, California on Mother's Day of this year. Mikaela had non-verbal autism, and  like so many  children with autism, she was attracted to water.   From the minute I saw the first story released, (you can read it here,) my heart went out to the family. I know what it's like to have a wanderer,  The Boy wandered off  twice when he was young- once even being brought home by the local police, prompting us to put alarms on the windows and special locks on the doors. The Boy was somewhat verbal at this time, he could tell people what his name was, and, at 4 years old had a developmental delay of about 2 years.   It was when this happened that I went out and researched autism and elopement, because it was all new to us. I was shocked to find out that nearly half of all children with autism wander. I was equally shocked  to find out that he number one cause of death of individuals with autism involve wandering incidents leading to drowning.  Both occur frequently and a quick glance at the latest autism news headlines will reinforce these unfortunate statistics. What is also very sad and scary- only about 50% of parents and caregivers are aware that elopement is a common issue with autism. If you don't know, how can you be preventative? Educating PARENTS about the very real issue of wandering and autism is imperative.  

Headlines focused on the fact that she "wandered away, naked", I don't think I saw one major headline that didn't focus on this part of the story.  MISSING AND NAKED screamed at people seeing the story. Most people's first question was "Why was she naked?" This headline also lead to immediate assumptions that there was something wrong with the parents.  It's human nature.  When something terrible happens, especially to a child, we as parents may question our own parenting, or mentally pat ourselves on the back for doing a "better job". One article in The Examiner said "The parents have been under scrutiny for their failure to supervise the child, leading directly to her disappearance, which has caused animosity between some people. The fact of the matter is that no matter what the circumstances, parents should never leave their young children unattended when they are at risk of being harmed."  This made me beyond angry, and even more so, when the article went on to say "This should be a warning to all parents". Typical of an publication like The Examiner, but infuriating nonetheless.

But blaming, shaming, and shoulda-woulda-coulda does nothing to help. We NEED to continue, and do more about EDUCATING the masses about autistic behaviors.    One very common occurrence (ask just about any family raising a child on the spectrum) is stripping off all clothing. Sensory and tactile issues are a very large, and common issue among those with autism. Tags, scratchy fabric, things that are something neurotypical people just deal with, can literally be painful for someone on the spectrum.  So the fact that 9 year old Mikaela had taken off her clothes is not something that was shocking to me. What bothered me was people's reactions on my Facebook page- "Why was she naked? Where were her parents? If they knew she might wander, how come they weren't paying attention?" These comments made my blood boil!!  These are NOT the questions to be asking! This is not the time to start blaming parents! But that is exactly what was happening. Fingers were pointed at Mikaela's mom, who was in the back of their home,  putting screens on vent holes because the wasps were building hives in them, to keep her family from being stung. s A  bee scared Mikaela’s brother and  he ran. That is when Mikaela disappeared.  Her mom's response time was immediate- literally 2 minutes- and police were called within 13 minutes. These are NOT the actions of a neglectful parent.  

Our kids can disappear in the blink of an eye- in the time it takes to go to the bathroom, check something in the oven, or answer a phone call, it is possible for a child on the spectrum to disappear. It literally is that fast.  I keep a VERY close eye on The Boy. My hands are on him at all times in public- even now that he is almost 11. We don't have to use alarms or special locks anymore, but I am still hyper vigilant.  He is high functioning, but still has a diminished capacity for self preservation and danger. And all it takes is one second.  I learned the scary way about autism and wandering, but was very lucky The Boy wasn't hurt. I educated the neighbors with pools about his attraction to water. And, living on an island as we do, and not far from water, he was never outside without me or The Mister.  Even after repeated concerns to his first preschool about his propensity to wander away, and assurances from the teachers that they would be watchful- he still LEFT preschool, without anyone knowing. That was a phone call I will never, ever forget, that and the feeling of abject terror that came along with it. Again- the situation had a happy ending, but so many don't.

The National Autism Association has a campaign called  Big Red Safety Box which includes the following 

1) A Get REDy booklet containing the following educational materials and tools:

A caregiver checklist
A Family Wandering Emergency Plan
A first-responder profile form
A wandering-prevention brochure
A sample IEP Letter

2) Two (2) Door/Window Alarms with batteries

3) One (1) RoadID Personalized, Engraved Shoe ID Tag*

4) Five (5) Laminated Adhesive Stop Sign Visual Prompts for doors and windows

5) Two (2) Safety Alert Window Clings for car or home windows

6) One (1) Red Safety Alert Wristband

This is a wonderful resource, and through the help of donations, many families can be provided this invaluable resource.   There are also GPS tracking bracelets that can be purchased, but are VERY expensive (starting at around $299) and for already cash strapped families this may not be possible. Swim lessons are also a must- unfortunately, your average YMCA swim instructor may not know how to teach an autistic child to swim.  There was a program near us that actually did a "clothes on" lesson so children could feel how different it is- heavy and constricting-nothing like when wearing a bathing suit.

Perhaps the  most important ethical question we can ask ourselves when such event happens is whether there was anything that could have done to prevent it, and what can be done in the future to prevent it. and on some levels, we do ask ourselves these questions  Unfortunately, the immediate thought is there must be someone to fault, something to blame.  This is human nature, a visceral reaction to something we cannot understand.  While there ARE many cases that there is a specific target to lay blame on- this is definitely not one of them. This is a tragedy, this is a family who has lost their child, and a mom who will most likely blame herself forever . Asking why Mikaela's mom took her eyes off her is not the right question.  Making statements like "If that were my child I would have done _______ or ________"  are not helpful either.  Let's remember, this is a mom. A mom who has lost a child. A mom who needs support, not accusations.  It is times like these that the autism community needs to rally around one of its own- and work even harder than ever to EDUCATE everyone.  

Drew Howell
Owen Black

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My baby went to camp today and I am a WRECK!

Ready to go!

Fifth grade camp. An amazing opportunity the kids in our district get to experience and look forward to from 1st grade on. When I sent Teenzilla, I was a little nervous, but she had already spent a week at Girl Scout camp, so she was ready to go, and I was pretty relaxed about sending her.

But The Boy is different. Not only does he have autism, he is MY BABY.  And in almost 11 years I have not been away from home for more than a weekend- and not even a full 48 hours so this is just as much about me as it is about him.  Today, The Boy is embarking on a journey that a lot of kiddos on the spectrum may not get a chance to do. Runners, non verbal, numerous medical issues may prevent a lot of kiddos with autism from being able to enjoy and be safe at a fully inclusive school week long camping trip.  I feel very blessed that The Boy is able to participate.

While I know in my heart he will thrive there I cannot help but have those crazy motherly instincts that drive all moms bonkers when they are away from their babies.

Am I excited for him to experience camp? Absolutely. Do I trust that  the teachers,staff and high school counselors will care for him, watch over him, and not let him near danger, and recognize when sensory overload is imminent ? Undoubtedly. Am I worried about  his very limited eating, sleeping in a bunk bed and group showering? Damn straight I am! Do I think he will come home singing fabulous songs, full of stories about his week away and be tired and smelly? I expect it.  

But I am a mom, and I worry. I worry that he may not like certain activities. I worry that he will get homesick, I worry that he will feel alone.  These are all irrational fears, I know. I have sent a kid away to camp- and she was well taken care of. The Boy will be well taken care of, too. He is bunking with some buddies from football, who found him right away this morning to get on the bus. He was smiling,and excited. There weren't any tearful second thoughts, hanging on to me or dad and refusing to let go, not one, single, concern.  That may change tonight- his first night away from home, a strange place, a different routine, but the teachers and counselors are all aware and assured me they will make the transitions as easy as possible. And even though they discourage calls home- if he really really needs to hear my voice- they will let him call home.  That eases my worry, if only a little bit.

This experience will put him in an environment where he was required to be more independent, work with his neurotypical peers in a setting completely different from school, or the football field.  It will hopefully help him to gain confidence in his own abilities, the fact that he can live without screens and be a bonding experience with other kids that will be a big help when they go to middle school next year. 

I am a nervous wreck. My mind is alternating between the worst and best case scenarios, trying hard to concentrate on the best. His smiling, excited face and declaration of "I am so excited to go to camp!" are definitely keeping my emotions in check- I didn't even cry too much when they left!  And I am reciting "No news is good news" over and over in my head- because that is a solid truth I can be confident in. 

This week away is a huge learning experience, for us both. It is sure to fly by, before I know it, it will be Friday and The Boy will be home. I can't wait!

Happy and excited! 

Oops! Autism still exists beyond April. What happened during Autism Awareness Month?

Well, Autism Awareness Month may be over- but our job as Autism parents never ends.  And even though it is the end of Autism Awareness Month, it is certainly not the end of promoting Autism Acceptance. That is something to work on every day of the year.

Beautiful letter written by an autistic child

I usually do a post a day on Facebook about Autism. This year, between my school, Teenzilla's many endeavors and constant back and forth with The Boy's school- I did not meet that goal. Believe me, it is all about Autism awareness in my house- as it is in ANY autism household. And while a part of me felt like I missed a lot of opportunities, I know that I ceaselessly promote autism awareness and ACCEPTANCE on a daily basis. So I missed some status updates- the world goes on.

I just want everyone to understand and know, that while awareness is necessary, ACCEPTANCE is vital. And  just because the month of April is over doesn't mean the efforts to continue spreading awareness should stop.  “Autism Acceptance”  needs to be applied to every other month of the year. More than that, I want everyone out there to continue spreading just plain old ACCEPTANCE. As we move beyond this month let us all embrace what comes after awareness; acceptance, inclusion, respect and full lives for all of us regardless of our abilities or disabilities. 

Just because someone is "different" doesn't mean they don’t need and deserve to be accepted with open arms by members of their community. We all look, act, learn and behave differently but we should all be treated equally and be afforded the same opportunities

I think May should be dubbed "National Inclusion Month". Inclusion is such important concept when talking about acceptance because true inclusion involves interacting with, communicating with, teaching,  and accepting people. Not just because they’re different but because they’re the same.   Did that just blow your mind? We are all human.  There is no sane reason to exclude individuals with differences or their families. Don't we all deserve the same respect and to be included, despite any "differences"?

What I really, really want EVERYONE to remember  is just because the calendar changes to May- doesn't mean that all persons with autism disappear for another year. Nope. Kids and adults alike with varying forms of autism are still working, living, learning, loving  and existing EVERY SINGLE DAY OF THE YEAR!  

It  is great to have an entire month dedicated to the cause,  but autism will continue to affect the lives of families all year round.My challenge to you is to continue to advocate for awareness,education and ACCEPTANCE  of  ASD. The need for answers does not begin and end with the month of April.

So stay strong, keep advocating, and dammit- get a minute for yourself if you can Autie/Aspie parents  caregivers and teachers! We need a little downtime on occasion too. 

Don't forget, I am doing a giveaway on my Facebook page Red Vines and Red Wine- a GREAT book- How to talk to an Autistic Kid, written BY and autistic kid!!  It is wonderful and awesome and I can't wait to find out who the winner is! 

You got me WHAT for Mother's Day??

OK- it's another in a long list of blogs by seemingly ungrateful mom's saying what they DON'T want for Mother's Day.  I full embrace my ungrateful, whiny, bitchy side when it comes to this day. For years, I was the smile and say how much I loved the homemade gifts and home burnt, I mean, cooked breakfasts,mom. Then my spawn got older, and the gifts didn't get any better. No thought, no pizzazz, and homemade Chore Coupons are a bunch of bullshit- because as soon as you try to redeem them the kids are nowhere to be found.


I am my family's EVERYTHING- as most mom's are. I am the cook, maid, chauffeur, doctor, lawyer, teacher, warden, confidant, laundress, go to every meeting, school function and know where EVERYTHING is at ALL times, super woman 24/7. Mother's Day is every damn day a far as I am concerned. But do I ask for anything? Nope. And most likely, I will end up doing something for someone else, or giving up something I wanted to do just to keep the peace. (Or spare the credit card- I have serious issues spending money on myself).

I like quiet. No video games or sports (unless I choose one of them) playing on the TV. No laundry or cleaning. No fighting among kids. Maybe take me out to breakfast or brunch. Or let me stay in bed all day if I choose with NO INTERRUPTIONS. Make me a mimosa. Or three. A day trip to the spa- now you're talking.   But I most definitely do not want:

1)A burnt, partially cold breakfast in bed. First you woke me up. Second, you made a huge mess. Third- I don't like eating in bed. The flower/weed from the yard does not pretty up this disaster. So thanks, but no thanks.

2) Asking me the day before what I want. If you haven't at least THOUGHT about Mother's Day prior to the day before- just forget it. 

3) Anything that implies household chores. Vacuums, pots and pans, a 50's style apron. Nope, nope and nope.  Save that shit for birthday and Christmas. 

4) Jewelry. Yeah- you heard me. I wear my wedding ring, occasionally earrings if I can find a matched pair. But I don't need or want anything else. Now- get my wedding ring cleaned- that would be appreciated. 

5)Gift Cards. Really? I mean, I love giving these easy, no muss no fuss gifts- to teenagers and distant relatives. But not on Mother's Day. To me. No thanks.

6)Clothes. I am super picky about what I wear- and I am overweight, so odds are that unless it is a scarf or a pair of socks,(which I don't want either) it will be the wrong size and I will have my feelings hurt or be pissed. It doesn't work out for The Mister, or the kiddos- don't do it.

7) An afternoon with the in  laws. I love them- but I really don';t want to spend my afternoon being worried what The Boy is doing, or having to stare at a sulky Teenzilla. Honey- YOU take the kids and go hang out with YOUR mom! That would be awesome! 

8) NOTHING with "Best Mom Ever" or anything similar on it. 

9) Nothing handmade from the kids. The two who are at home are almost 15 and 11. The oldest is 22. GO TOGETHER AND BUY YOUR MOM SOMETHING DAMMIT! 

I am simple- I would enjoy a day of chillin' with the kids, taking random naps, NOT doing laundry or cleaning up after anyone, having full control of the TV and sipping mimosa's. If The Twenty Something has to work, take me out for dinner at Chile's and give me some of those awesome margarita's like you did last year- you know, the ones that had me laughing too loud and damn near dancing on the table? That was great!

Just be extra nice to me, ok? Don't ask what needs to be done- just do it. Don't make snippy remarks to antagonize someone, be sarcastic with The Boy who doesn't get it anyway, ask me where ANYTHING is (unless it is my empty wine glass- I will be happy to point you in that direction) and don't begrudge me MY day.  I love you all, and am grateful to have such a beautiful,wonderful family. Me getting a day "off" won't change any of that.  And please- don't forget- this is my 11th Mother's Day without my own mom. I miss her every day. This day is one of the hardest. I might be kind of weepy. Don't ask questions, and don't make a big deal of it if I burst into tears and run upstairs. It will pass. Just have another glass of wine waiting when I return- and everything will be just fine.

Autism awareness, and teaching your kids tolerance

Today The Boy went for a bike ride to the local park that is a block from our house. This is something he does quite frequently, AND quite frequently comes home with a story of how he met someone, and made a new friend. The best part of that- they usually know me and that just blows The Boy's mind!


So anyway- today he went to the park. There was a group of kids there- he said he couldn't remember their names, but he has seen them at school. He decided to introduce himself, (and I am sure he did it in his grand fashion of a sweeping bow, followed by his entire name, age and grade in school) and wanted to hang out. This is difficult for people on the spectrum. Interpreting social cues, knowing how to approach people- these things are a lot more difficult for the kiddo on the spectrum. It doesn't come easy, or natural.  The group of kids apparently laughed at him, and started teasing him.



It was about this time, that The Boy realized it was time to leave, so he  started to ride his bike away, and this group of kids chased him, calling him names and telling him they knew where he lived. The Boysaid he rode as fast as he could to get home- but "They were just joking around with me mom". That is the  saddest part  to me,The Boy really thought they were just joking around with him. This was a teachable moment, a time to explain to him that not everyone is nice or worthy of being a friend. His look of confusion breaks my heart, and makes me want to shelter him from a cruel and intolerable world that will always look at him as deficient, not worthy, and "weird".

I was mad, I was hurt for him, I was ANGRY! What is wrong with parents that don't teach kids to be tolerant or even kind? And I know- parents can't be responsible for everything their kids do when out of their sight- but  if they are TAUGHT AT HOME, they generally act the way they have been taught in public, with or without their parents.

And the way The Boy explained it, there were 4 of them, and a kind of "pack mentality" seems to have set in- and they singled out my son, by himself, as weak, and easy to bully. Yeah-- kids at this age are jerks- but they have obviously not been taught how to act, or treat others. And if just ONE of them was taught that this was wrong, that one  could have stopped it. They might be young, but they are not stupid. Teenzilla was sticking up for the "underdog" as young as six years old! It's not unheard of.

I am not writing this for the other parents of children with special needs who have seen their children bullied, or excluded, or have their feelings hurt because of similar behavior  This is directed at those OTHER parents. The ones who seem to have forgotten that their job is to teach their children about diversity, tolerance and problem solving skills. And how bullying is NOT ok... ever.

It's already hard enough with The Boy being socially segregated at school- put in a categorical classroom that is not made to seem like a part of the school community at times and social isolation and harassment can go hand in hand. Without meaningful interaction with students with disabilities, other students are more likely to make hurtful remarks based on stereotypes. THIS is where parents come in. TEACH YOUR KIDS!  If you want your child to grow up being not only tolerant but inclusive then you need to expect that from the very beginning. Don’t expect them to learn these values as adults if you haven’t encouraged it of them as children. And don't expect it to be taught in school- because the school's that do embrace the full meaning of inclusion are few.

So parents- let me give some helpful advice in how to teach your kids to NOT be jerks- and maybe some of you out there can take this advice as well.

Teach the golden rule; Treat others the way you would want to be treated!!!


Model tolerant, accepting behavior. Kids learn what they live- THAT is a fact.


Don’t label! Referring to other kids as "that one with autism" or "that girl who wears hearing aids" only points out differences, issues that may not even concern your child, but will become the focus now that you have pointed it out. This is just as important as if you are talking about ANYONE, whether directly to your child or not. See above statement!
 Encourage questions, and if you don't have an answer- talk to someone who KNOWS. Talk to a parent of a kiddo with special needs, particularly autism, because it's invisible- and not something that can be seen. ASK ME!! I will tell you whatever you would like to know, and I will help you talk to your kids.

April is Autism Awareness Month. It is also Autism Action Month.  Check out these websites for some great information, and ways you can become more aware, and therefore more tolerant- which enables you to help teach your kids how to be more tolerant, kind and compassionate. We really need more of that in the world, don't you think? 

http://nationalautismassociation.org/

http://www.autism-society.org/about-autism/facts-and-statistics.html

Autism Numbers - 1 in 68. Who is celebrating?

April is Autism Awareness Month. I hear so many people asking how others are going to "celebrate". There is no "celebration", unless it is celebrating the accomplishments our kids make. Or celebrating the parents and the family members who make countless sacrifices every day. No, Autism is NOT cause to celebrate.   What it is, is a cause  for panic- why are the numbers climbing? Why is NOTHING being done about it?  Why are so many useless "studies" being done? It's all about maternal age. No wait, it's all about paternal age. Oh no, it's about how close you live to a freeway. GAHHHH!!!

I  use platforms such as my blog, my Facebook page and my big fat mouth to push autism awareness, action and acceptance. I will shout it from the rooftops. I want to make people aware of the EPIDEMIC that is Autism. I don't celebrate it. I don't know many who do. I celebrate my son's accomplishments. I celebrate his milestones. I celebrate his amazing little self- but I DO NOT celebrate the fact that he is 1 in 68 children that are diagnosed with this disorder.We should honor and celebrate those that  live with autism and face and overcome more challenges than a lot of people could ever imagine.  

Then you have Autism Speaks- the first organization it seems that comes to mind when talking about Autism. It is  easily one of the biggest and loudest voices talking about autism.  Some questions I wish more people would ask about  Autism Speaks- aside from why they mismanage the money gained off of hopeful families walking in circles- where are the Autistic people on their board? Why do only 4% of the funds raised actually go to the families that need them? WHERE DOES THE MONEY GO?? 

And to bring up the MOST controversial of topics- the fact that AS has said repeatedly that vaccines and autism cannot possibly have any link to one another, but, in 2009  Dr. Geraldine Dawson says almost the exact opposite. "It remains scientifically plausible that the challenge to the immune system resulting from a vaccine (or other immunological challenges) could, in susceptible individuals, have adverse consequences for the developing brain." and  "Evidence does not support the theory that vaccines are causing an autism epidemic. However, it is plausible that specific genetic or medical factors that are present in a small minority of individuals might lead to an adverse response to a vaccine and trigger the onset of autism symptoms."  Oh- and when I went to look at this interview with her- I got an error message on the AS website ACCESS DENIED. Hmmm... interesting

So if you want to know why I no longer support  AS,  follow the link- you will see one BIG reason why. Autism Speaks Financials shows salaries of upward to $400,000 dollars! SALARIES! Add to that a very large lobbying budget, and the fact that  44% of Autism Speaks’ budget may go  toward research, but only a small percentage of these funds go towards research into improving the quality of life of autistic people.  Hell- I want a CAUSE or CAUSES pinpointed for the huge upswing in Autism- then perhaps a cause will lead to a cure and so on and so forth- but the simple truth is there are already way too many children and adults already diagnosed- who are struggling NOW.  I would love to know how many of these families and individuals have actually received the Autism Speaks Family Grant, and how much they received.  

I know many say that Autism Speaks advocating for a "cure" is discounting anyone with autism, and portraying them as  burdens.  I can understand that. And  I am not an advocate for a "cure" necessarily. But when I talk to the mom who is still changing her 10 year old son's diapers or the dad is holding on to the hope that his daughter will one day make eye contact and say she loves him- I have to say would a "cure" be so bad? 

 All of that said- I do not begrudge anyone their opinions or beliefs.  I will not be rude,  or mocking of anyone who believes in AS. I once did too. And my opinion is not everyone's. Just like my "Educate before you vaccinate" stance- I encourage people to look into local charities for Autism, or The National Autism Association as well, before throwing all of their money at Autism Speaks.  Do your own research- and make decisions based on what YOU feel is best for you. I did.

In  the meantime- I will be an awareness junkie. I will read, research, talk, and write for Autism Awareness, I will shove facts, figures and stories in your face - just in the hopes that you will pass on that knowledge to someone else. This is how awareness is spread- from me to you, from you to your spouse or friend and from them to someone else. I don't expect you to become and expert- I am not an expert - but I know a hell of a lot- and you might  learn a thing or two from me. 

This is not a month to celebrate. This is a month to learn, and to teach. Parents of autistic children, and adults on the spectrum are a wealth of knowledge that only want the rest of the world to understand. We need to tell our stories so that people  will begin to understand and accept our loved ones for who they are, what they are capable of doing, and not what is “wrong with them.”   They are human beings living here with us. They are smart, funny, capable, loving and not going away.