My Chicken Little senses were telling me that this was going to well, something was gonna rain on my parade- but as my mom and grandma always said- "Don't borrow trouble" so I ignored that "The sky is falling" voice and just let myself be content. WRONG MOVE.
This last Monday I was on my way to work- the second week of my new awesome job. I was actually on time- hell I was early so I was jamming to some Lady Gaga and just cruising along. Then- out of nowhere- the driver in front of me slams on her brakes in the middle of an intersection I was entering just as the light turned yellow. I remind you that I was not rushing, not in any hurry, not on my phone, not smoking and not fiddling with the radio.
It all happened in slow motion- that is no lie- when people say that- it is true. I swerved, hit the brakes and then slammed into the back of this person's car- watched the back window shatter and my hood crumple up like paper. Time stopped- I could hear someone saying "oh shit oh shit oh shit" and realized it was me. I was immediately aware I was still in the intersection and drove my car into the gas station on the corner. The other car had not moved. It felt like I was underwater- I couldn't hear right, but my vision was in hyper focus.
I immediately called my husband- NOT 911 mind you- my husband. He is ALWAYS the one I call when something is wrong- he is "the fixer". He said he would be right there and then told me to call 911, which I did. The cops showed up almost immediately- ambulances too. The other driver had not exited their car yet. It was starting to dawn on me that they might be seriously injured and it was my fault. The police officer came over and asked all the usual questions- was I hurt, did I know my name, license, insurance registration. I asked if the other driver was ok. He said not to worry- just worry about me for the moment- the paramedic would be over shortly to check me out.
The paramedic came over- asked me what hurt- took my blood pressure- looked in my eyes with his little flashlight, asked me if I knew what year it was, felt my neck, asked if I hurt again (which I didn't at the time) I asked him about the other driver- he said don't worry. Now I really was terrified. At about that time my husband showed up. That is when I saw them open the back doors of the other vehicle and I lost it. There had been kids in the car- holy fuck I just hit a car with kids in it! The police officer had returned by that time and I was damn near hysterical- he said- No, no- there were no kids...calm down.
The other driver (a woman too) was complaining of neck and back pain and wanted to go to the hospital. Then I saw her being put on a stretcher with the neck brace and all. Again- panic bubbled over and my husband said- it's ok- it's procedure- the cops and the paramedic asked me if I needed to go to the hospital- I said no, I needed to go to work.
Yes. I went to work. Working with 3.5 year old children is a physically challenging job- and I had just rear ended somebody going about 35-40 miles an hour and I was worried about the new job. We got all the particulars worked out and my husband asked me if I was sure about work. I said yes- so he took me. My bosses were also very surprised to see me- and asked if I was ok to be there- I said yes. And weirdly- I was... probably the shock and all- but I didn't want to be anywhere else but at work.
So now let's fast forward a little- I made it through my day- hubby picked me up from work and I started crying- we were going to be getting home after 7:00...the kiddos needed to eat and do homework ( I am VERY anal about dinner time - it HAS to be no later than 6:00 on weeknights) and I was sore and sad and so worried the mister was angry with me. He assured me he wasn't and that we would get through this- one way or another . ( told ya- he is the fixer)
Now I had to worry about getting back and forth to work- the kiddos being fed and homework done, what I was going to do about a new car ( did I mention we owned the car so only carried the minimum insurance on it- in Michigan that is No Fault which means we get NOTHING- they didn't even pay for the tow. Bastards) how I was going to get all the shit done with the kids, Cub Scout meetings, school meetings, all the stuff that goes with being a mom and I just shut down. I focused on work and luckily my neighbor and amazing sistermommy friend said she would pick me up from work during the week. Hubby was going to drive me and take time off his job to get running around done and grandma would come over after school to help with the the little spawns homework ( see my blog about THAT-Homework Sucks ) and start dinner for us.
The importance of all of these things, as well as my luckiness at having such caring people in my life wasn't necessarily lost on me, but I was still numbly focused on work and determined to NOT lose my damn mind.
Hubby was desperately looking for a car we could afford (which meant a beater piece of shit or a moped because that is ALL we realistically could afford right now) and I just agreed with what he said- told him whatever he thought was right and left it at that. So he searched and searched for something that we could judt buy and not have a payment. No luck. Everything had a gazillion miles on it and he worried about dropping a grand on something that would subsequently need three grand worth of repairs.
He started looking at dealerships- but our credit is...well, let's just say it isn't fabulous, and even with money down he was worried about a sky high payment. He finally found a place- with a decent car- but even with $1200 down they wanted $298 a month and were trying to pull some shit bout HAVING to have their service contract or the bank wouldn't approve. Soooooo- on Friday he went to a reputable dealer and talked with them. After some number crunching (and fudging) we were approved for 2007 blue Chevy Aveo. He sent me a picture and called me at work and I said go for it. I was still running on auto pilot and didn't even really register that I might have a "new to me" car by the end of the work day.
6:00 on Friday- I walked out of work to see my wonderful hubby with my car. An adorable little sedan in a beautiful shade of blue. Then- to top it off- he opened the trunk and had bought me the digital deep fryer I had been asking for for Mother's Day. I was as excited as I could be- exhausted, stressed and worried- but excited. He had pulled it off- and had I been in my right mind I would have been a hell of a lot more excited and grateful.
We got home- and discovered the service department had forgotten to put the oil cap back on and oil had bubbled out all over. That is when the world just came crashing down on me. The stress, the accident, EVERYTHING hit me and I LOST IT. I turned into the blubbery mess I had told myself I wouldn't become. I sobbed uncontrollably and stomped my feet and threw a humdinger of a tantrum. WHY CAN'T THINGS JUST ALL WORK OUT?!?! I screamed. IT'S NOT FAIR! My poor husband kept apologizing, hugging me, telling me he loved me, running around like a crazy person and trying to fix it..AGAIN.
Thanks to an irate phone call to the dealership- the salesman who sold us the car went to the lot, and pulled an oil cap off of another Aveo ( oh- we bought one that said it fit my car- but of course it fucking didn't) and met my husband at a nearby gas station to give it to him.
So I guess this week from hell had a happy ending. I have driven the car- only panicked once- and I like it a lot. Hubby is my hero and savior again and aside from a shitty cold I am starting to feel like myself again. I am not making the same mistake and getting too comfortable in good luck- I KNOW how that turns out- at least for me. So just keep your fingers crossed and hope that next weeks hell is not as miserable as this weeks...
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