I don't swear that f&*%$ing much!

 *Warning: This post contains liberal use of many swear words. Especially the "F" word.  If you tend to be put off by four letter words -stop here.

I really don't

Fuckshitdamnbitchhellcrap. Swearing. We all do it to some degree. And don't you dare play all innocent with me. I am willing to be that just about EVERYBODY has uttered at least one expletive in their life- even if nobody was around to hear it.  

I have tried to be that mom- the one who demoralizes swearing. No words are BAD words- depending on the context. Not that I wanna hear FUCK coming out of my little darlings pie hole ( oh - and it has, on more than one occasion) but I feel that if I tell them not to do it-but yet I turn around and do it- it's not much of a lesson, right?  I am not a "do as I say not as I do" type parent.  I don't advocate using profanity- I just don't make a HUGE fucking deal out of it.  (see what I mean?)

I was having a conversation with my mister this morning. Just a normal, run of the mill, husband/wife type conversation. Both Teenzilla and The Boy were in the same room.  I can't remember exactly what prompted it, but I left the room, and over my shoulder I said "Fuck You" to the hubs...not angrily- we had been joking about something and that was my response. Neither kid reacted- well- The Boy does censor me- when I use spicy language he says "HEY" very loudly- and I usually apologize and continue on with whatever I was talking about.   

 

This got me thinking- growing up I heard my share of swearing. Shit, dammit, asshole, sonofabitch, these were things I heard, albeit sporadically. If either of my parents uttered the word Fuck it stopped me in my tracks. That was a word that just wasn't said out of the blue- if at all...not when I was growing up anyway. My parents uttering the mack daddy of all swear words was reason for me to hide- shit was going down and I didn't want to be around.  

But now- raising my kids- the word fuck is just that. A word. Not a very nice word to be sure- but just a word that has a time and place. Not at school, not at Grandma's house, not in front of younger kiddos, but there are times. Hurting yourself really bad for instance- that is cause to say Fuck.  Being irritated at school and saying "What the fuck" not OK. (Yes that happened- The Boy said that at after school care. Luckily I was there and diffused the situation quickly)  

I don't spew curse words in every conversation, around other people's kids, or in public. Like I said- there are times and places for these "language enhancers" (thank you Spongebob) and in the middle of Target or surrounded by kids at the local park are not them.  I would NEVER dream of using the word fuck in any connotation around my Grandma.  But in the comfort of my own home- with only my family around? You bet your sweet ass I use them . All the fucking time. Unless The Boy is censoring me- then I just say them quietly...

So for all of you that think I am a terrible,cock-a-doodie dirty birdie...so sorry. Words are words are words. How we choose to wield them is what gives them meaning- good or bad.  I could say fuck off ya fuckin fucks- but that is pretty rude. I did put a disclaimer at the top of this blog- AND the title alone should have given you an idea you wouldn't like this subject matter- so I can only assume you kept reading so you could get all pissed off and make a rude comment- so in that case Off is the direction in which I would like you to fuck... 

This is fucking amazing!
http://www.geeky-gadgets.com/periodic-table-of-swearing-any-bad-word-just-a-click-away-video-11-12-2011/

Road Trip!

As promised- here is the next installment in the "One Time In Chicago" series. But I am lazy and tired and unfocused- so the "series" may be just this one blog....

Candy Ass and I getting ready to go!

 So- the original plan was to take the train from Detroit to Chicago. Then shit happened and it turned out that my fellow Mom Who Drinks and Swears Candice  would be flying in and then renting a car and we would just drive there. Saving me some $$$ and giving us time to bond!

And bond we did- the drive from Detroit to Chicago is a little over 4 hours. Not too bad. But- Candice was buying a car- it was in Illinois and we were going to take a slight detour so she could go see and drive it. Cool- we didn't have time constraints- other than just being insanely excited to meet the rest of these  foul mouth, booze, swilling mamas.

Our detour took us off the freeway onto the surface roads- where we saw a terrible car accident, got stuck at a four way stop that apparently threw every single driver into a complete tail spin and then finally to her new car! ( which WAS a Mercedes- drove like a dream and the ass who worked at the dealership sold it out from under her...)

Night vision drunkenness!

The add in an interesting trip through Joliet Illinois- which we couldn't figure out if it was ghetto or nice- so we just settled on Ghetto Fabulous- a stop for night vision goggles and then a very round about trip to the hotel and we had ARRIVED!! 7 HOURS LATER!!! 

Meeting all of these women after having been friends online for over a year was so amazing- words seriously cannot express it. I have never hugged so many people in such a short amount of time It was HEAVEN!!

Oh Nikki you're so fine!

Then off to the rooms for cocktails- and I finally got to meet the crazybeautiful genius that started MWDAS..Mizz Nikki herself! We hugged like long lost sisters -( which is what all of these women have become to me- sisters)

The rest of the weekend is a semi blur of drinking, planking, singing, dancing, swimming and talking talking talking! I have never felt so comfortable with a group of essential strangers- and can't imagine life without them in it now.  

Outback Parking lot Plank!

Pool Table Plank!

Who the fuck are you?!?!

All of these women- together for a whole weekend- and not ONE OUNCE OF DRAMA! NONE!! That is how easy it was. It is truly inexplicable. 

So to my honey badgers- CALM THE FUCK DOWN.  We will see each other next year - count on it!