15 Wonderful, Crazy Years

Wow- so young, so naive, SO THIN!

Fifteen years of marriage. A drop in the bucket for some. A miracle in these hard times for others. It feels like forever, but it feels like only a minute. 

Somehow, we have made it work, but it has been a hard fought battle to hold it all together. I was convinced that after the first 5 years things would get somewhat easier. And while there have been wonderful, beautiful stars in our eyes times, there are still so many days that it feels like it's all an uphill battle. Days you feel like you have nothing to look forward to, nothing to hope for, and this is all there is. But then the clouds break, the sun shines,  and it is in those small moments that you can really revel in the amazingness that is your marriage and the fact that you have held it together- and BREATHE. Then life crashes down on you again and you hold your breath waiting for the next break in the insanity. 

The Mister and I are so different-I am LOUD where he is quiet.  I am outgoing,and  love to be around people, where he is reticent and content to be at home. I like making new friends, he is content with high school buddies. I smoke, he doesn't.  He loves boats, I don't.  You get the point.  They say opposites attract, but DAMN!

Over  the last 15 years I have gained an appreciation for Star Wars, The Beatles, RPG's, Batman and other assorted comic book characters. He has gained an appreciation for going out and being around lots of people, for some of my music, and my love of kids and being a preschool teacher.  Our marriage has been like an intense learning experience/science project- and we both have learned and adapted.

He says sometimes I make things difficult. Of course I do. But in my head- it's not difficult, I am thinking "outside the box" and he has tunnel vision. So I could also say he makes things difficult. He is a RIGHT NOW kind of guy- as in- deal with things that are in this very moment- I on the other hand look down the road at the implications from whatever is going on in that moment. That is our biggest problem I think. His inability to look into the future, and my inability to not just fix one problem at a time- and not inventing more. We try to make the best of bad situations and enjoy the hell out of the good times. 


Here's to an amazing dad, a fantastic husband and the bestest best friend a girl could ask for.  I love you honey- let's work on the next 15 years ♥

We're not perfect. But we are perfect for each other. 

New Year's Resolutions are for schmucks!

This looks good to me!

It's that time of year again. The time when we all tell ourselves (and everyone within earshot) just how dramatically our life is about to change. Of course it is. Of course we do. Just like we did the last twenty New Year’s eves. And how well did all of THOSE turn out? Many of us are fantastic resolution makers. Beyond that, not so good. The making, good. The doing, not so good.

January is the "official" start time for change.  A new year, a new you and all that jazz-you know the story.But  if you really think about it- shouldn't you be making changes all year long?  Why the hell are you waiting till the end of the year or the start of a new year? If your life was screwed  up before 12/31, its going to be screwed up going into the new year.  "But this year will be different!" you are probably saying or thinking as you read this. I truly wish you the best of luck with that. I know for myself- making a "resolution" is basically setting myself up for failure- because NOBODY holds me to higher standards than me- so when I fail- I fail HARD.

I have come to the realization that if you make a resolution you might as well throw a penny in a fountain and make a wish. It’s the same hopeful optimism that drives both activities. No "resolution" will work unless you have formulated a plan- written it down and gave yourself reasonable time to complete it.  And I repeat- why didn't you (or I) do this earlier in the year? I have needed to lose weight ALL YEAR. I have needed to quit smoking ALL YEAR. I have needed to save money and take better control of my finances ALL YEAR.  The changing of the calendar after drinking, eating and smoking to my heart's content is not magical in itself.  If only! Then  we would all be thin beautiful, rich non smokers and there would be peace on Earth yadda yadda yadda.

If I am going to try to better myself, I should be doing it year-round. It should be a constant goal, not something marked on a calendar. I know that these things need to start at some point, and what I need to do. I also know that falling on my ass and looking like a total schmuck and then beating myself up over my dismal failure  is not a good strategy.  

So despite an abysmal track record and a vast wasteland of shattered dreams, we continue to approach every New Year the same way; with the same pointless strategy. Isn't the definition of insanity doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome? So that must mean that a whole bunch of us are off our nut insane because that’s exactly what we do. 

So my only "resolution" this year is going to be very vague- I resolve to do some things over the course of the year to make my life better. There.  Now I am gonna go have a cigarette, drink this bizarre concoction that my neighbor Paul just brought me, and then probably eat something fattening. Happy Freakin New Year.